7:18 Party On, Garth
Sam and Dean get joined by Garth, so Diana and Liz get joined by Babe this week on Season 7, Episode 18 of DTP talking SPN. Plus Babe and Liz tell Diana the Japanese folk tale about an onryō"A Promise Broken" while making her play the sound effects.
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Transcript
Welcome to this week's episode of Devil's Trap Podcast. I'm Diana.
Bitch (:Liz. It's babe. Actually, I could have pressed one of our sound effects for this. So here by special invite and command of his wife is our audio engineers, less producers, less composers slash all things. I don't know what else you do. You do a lot. All the stuff.
Babe (:And I'm Dave.
Jerk (:Yay!
Jerk (:I know.
Babe (:Other stuff! Woohoo! Hahaha!
Jerk (:Yay!
Bitch (:So he graciously agreed to join us tonight when we thought it would be timely with the theme of this is season seven, episode 18, party on Garth. So I feel like anytime we kind of get this trio of hunters in here, it's kind of nice to bring in someone else to bitch and jerk. So bitch and jerk, get a Garth. Who's the babe?
Jerk (:Hey.
Jerk (:Picking a trio.
Babe (:Yeah, why not?
Jerk (:Hehehe
Bitch (:So, per tradition, babe, would you like to tell us what have you been up to this week?
Babe (:Well, this weekend, I'm gonna steal this from Diana, but this weekend we went to a car show that we've been going to forever up in Denton, Texas, Pistons and Paint. Some friends of ours put the show on every year. They get probably five or 600 cars. And one of my sons bought a 59 Edsoul exactly 10 years ago. And it was off the road for many years after he joined the Air Force. And he got it back on the road just in time to bring it to this show. So it's the first time
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Babe (:my car and his car. Yeah. And the first time our two cars have been at the same show in nine years. So that was a pretty cool, cool little milestone for him.
Bitch (:Veterans Day weekend! Oh, that's so special!
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:Oh, so you took, wait, so you didn't take duchess or did you take all three? Yeah, that's adorable. A family that car shows together. I love it.
Jerk (:All three.
Babe (:All three. Yep.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Babe (:Yes, then my other son was there too. He doesn't he doesn't. He doesn't have a car yet, so I wasn't even going to mention him, but I guess I will.
Bitch (:But he doesn't have a car so he doesn't count.
Bitch (:It's a...
Jerk (:Oh, damn. Rough over here. Yeah. It is. It is. Prepare yourself. Brace yourself. Oh, yeah. So I had a crazy week. I got to I got to go to the official after party for the world premiere of The Iron Claw, which is a film about the von Erichs, the famous wrestlers.
Bitch (:Sorry. It's gonna be that kind of show, guys. I'm just preparing you. Ha ha.
Babe (:I'm sorry.
Bitch (:Do tell, do tell.
Jerk (:It was hosted at the, the premiere was at the Texas theater, which is a historic theater in Oak Cliff in Dallas. And then the after party was at the Longhorn Ballroom. And it was pretty rad. And while I did not meet any of the stars because I chose not to, I did get to see them. Yeah, I don't know, I get weird about it. But I did get to see them. It was a lot of all the, you know.
Bitch (:Bye!
Bitch (:to not be a fangirl.
No, it didn't happen naturally.
Babe (:Right.
Jerk (:Yeah, Kevin, Kevin Von Eric and his and the next generation of Von Erics were there. Yeah.
Bitch (:That is rad. Like if you, like, I don't know, the Von Erich thing, especially like growing up in Texas, they were such a big deal to us. And the story is the biggest, like, tragic, oh God, I don't wanna see this movie. I really don't. Yeah.
Jerk (:Oh, huge. Yeah. Tragic. I've heard the movie is I didn't get to the premiere, but several people I talked to many people that did, and they said that the film is amazingly done and bring your fucking tissues.
Bitch (:Yeah, no, like even just read, like I can read the Wikipedia page of like what, like what happened to that family and just like, yeah, and wheat. So.
Jerk (:and cry. Yeah, it's like, but they do have they have a next generation. Some of the nieces and nephews have started wrestling. And so they're trying to carry on the family tradition.
Babe (:So the last three minutes of the movie are uplifting, probably.
Jerk (:So we'll see. I don't know. But yeah, but you know, yes, I was in the same building as Zac Efron and Jeremy Allen White as the two big names. So there we go.
Bitch (:Woo, fancy pants. No, they were at your party, bitch. No, you were not in the same building. They were at your party. Let's just be clear.
Jerk (:Pretty much. So yeah, so it's cool. And then and then we had a new car on Thursday I'm exciting. Yeah, something like that. And then and then babe and I decided to go to a punk rock show we'd had a really busy week and that just sounded like what we needed to do and Yeah, duh, isn't that what everybody does and
Bitch (:Cause you're a fancy bitch, right? So.
Babe (:Yeah.
Bitch (:That's what fancy bitches do!
Babe (:Sorry, drive your new car to a punk rock show.
Bitch (:No, I saw it. Yeah. So go ahead.
Jerk (:And we were, it's a band called Fire Sale that we have been following. We kind of, we know one of the members of the band, he's a drummer, he's the drummer and he's based in the DFW area. But he formed this band during the pandemic doing like remote video practices and it's members, a guy that was in the Atari's, a guy that was in No Use for a Name and Face to Face. And then so another guy that's in what, Iron Roses? Is that what it is?
Babe (:Yeah.
Jerk (:And then another guy that's been in a band I was not familiar with, but he's really good, too. Anyway, so they were doing they're kind of like their first actual like three show run, they've only played once live before. So it was cool to go see that. And they were shooting a video and they told everybody to go nuts. And everybody went nuts and someone crowd surfed. And I was like, oh, no, this crowd is not dense enough for crowd surfing. And then I got kicked in the head.
Bitch (:which also is very impressive considering your height. That somebody like somebody was high up right like I'm so
Jerk (:Yeah, well, I well to be and I was wearing wedges. Well, I kind of did like I did like the push to like, oh, this person's going to fall. Let me push them up away from me. And then I was like, oh, their body's turning. I better duck right now because I don't get kicked in the face.
Babe (:Yes.
Bitch (:Mm.
Babe (:Yeah, and then.
Bitch (:So this is how you know you actually did not meet the von Erics. They would have taught you how to block this, and you would have been smashing somebody's ass to the ground. And it's a good thing that I wasn't there. You would have seen a little me running up on people's shoulders. You're like, ah! So at what point did you realize it was not just a, ha ha, I got kicked in the neck, and oh, shit, I got kicked in the neck.
Jerk (:Oh
Jerk (:Sure, yeah, I should have piledriver dim or something. Three seconds. Like, ah!
Jerk (:Oh, oh no, I got kicked in the head and it jocked my head down and that's what hurt my neck. No, immediately I was like, I lost my beer too, which is just annoying at that point. Yeah. No, of course not. Pit rules, pit rules.
Bitch (:Did they come back and apologize? No, fuck you. That's like pit, like, I'm sorry. That is pit rules. If you like hurt somebody, like one, everybody stops. Everybody should be checking out that you're okay. And that motherfucker should have bought you a beer and apologize. So fuck you, whoever that was. I know you did, but if I find them, I'm gonna be like, I'm not gonna promote violence on our show, because law, but.
Babe (:Mm-hmm.
Jerk (:I played it off really well though, so I don't think anybody knew. I don't think anybody knew that I got hit, but.
No, but yeah, so that was something and then and then I was fine. But I was tired. We were real tired at the car show not kind of like we stayed out too late. And they got up real early to go to a car show. And then Sunday while I was folding laundry, I laid down and then I sneezed and then I thought I would never walk again. So I had to go get a massage on Monday and take a muscle relaxer.
Babe (:Hahaha!
Bitch (:Welcome to your 40s.
Bitch (:I'm sorry, like I know we're laughing at you, but I just feel like it took a while, but you're here. You're in your 40s, walk into middle age with the rest of us. When...
Jerk (:Hey, I-
Babe (:Wait, wait till you tie a shoe and can't walk for two days.
Bitch (:Yep.
Jerk (:There was, it was so bad. Like I'm taking a break while I'm folding laundry. I'm just going to lay on the bed. Like that I sneezed laying down. It was the, oh no. Oh no. Yeah. So, but luckily I found a great masseuse locally that I'd never been to before. And she's awesome. And now I'm going to.
Bitch (:or you tie a shoe and you pee your pants.
Bitch (:Oh no, I'm broken! How did I break?
Bitch (:So, I mean, upside to the story, right?
Jerk (:Yeah, no, I mean, the show was great. I mean, to be fair, and they were filming a music video, and maybe there'll be footage. Yeah, maybe, maybe. They did do two takes, so you never know which one they used.
Bitch (:Oh wait, so it's on video? So I can find them. I mean, I won't, I mean.
Bitch (:I won't like, you know, like I can't reverse it. No, nevermind. I will.
Jerk (:Oh man. Well, yeah, so that's my stories. So, yeah, Liz has an exciting weekend story.
Bitch (:I did. It was more than a weekend. It was like, I, I got my last vacation of the year. It was just very hard to say. I'm just like, Oh shit, that's, that's my last vacation. Like I can't like, I don't know, like there's just six weeks left in the year. I'm out of PTO. And so I'm just being kind of white knuckle and shit here for, for a little bit.
Jerk (:It was.
Jerk (:There's only six weeks left in the year.
Bitch (:But I went on another cruise and we've decided that, hey, if you guys like, we may have a second podcast where you just talk about cruises and shit because last time like Diana and babe both went on, we all went on the Virgin cruise together and that was the bougie fancy ass cruise and we had thoughts. So this week I went on the flogging Molly salty dog cruise, which was on the Norwegian cruise line and we were on the Norwegian Pearl and there are some differences.
between the Norwegian pearl and the virgin. And a couple of things guys, like first off, they don't have wristbands. What they do is they give you these key cards that you put in the lanyard. This goes into a plastic pocket that's supposed to be around your neck the whole time. I think I had seven key cards by the end of this trip because you can't trust me to put something, like no, that's just gonna fall out. I'm gonna think I'm put, especially like.
It was the floggy Mali cruise. We were all drunk. So like stuff is just like flying everywhere. Like you can't, you can't hold us accountable for shit. Like that was, it was dumb. So that, the cruise was great. We went through. So our cruise went to where? Where our cruise goes. It went coast to Maya, right. And Honduras.
Jerk (:Costa Maya, Honduras, and then Bahamas, of course.
Bitch (:Bahamas. Yeah. So this one we did Costa Maya again, but first before that we did Belize, which all of us. So this is also our travel podcast. At some point we're going to talk about the television show Supernatural, I promise. But this is Dave and Liz and Diana's travel adventures as well. So we went to Belize and this time though, I did not, we typically go to San Pedro and Ambergris Quay because that is, we love those people and we just haven't ventured to the South yet because we have the people up there so much.
Jerk (:Okay.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:So this, what we went to was Harvest Key or some bullshit like that. It's some island owned by Norwegian Cruise Line. So you could like get off and go do things, but I waited too long to book an excursion. So I was like, well, just put the cabana and like barely any people. Like, I don't know. It was. It was fine, but it was raining all day, so it was like not that warm. And it kind of like whatever. Like I sat in a cabana and I read a book and it was good.
Jerk (:Got it.
Bitch (:And so then we went to Costa Maya and the last time the three of us went to Costa Maya, we just got a cabana and hung out. So we hung out, right? That's what we did in that cabana. And hung out a lot. And so this time I was like, okay, let's get an excursion, right? The friend that I was with, he was from Ireland and hasn't like done a lot of the stuff. So I was like, let's do river tubing. And not thinking that one, it was going to be rainy. And so when it's
November in where you know, granted, you know, they're a little closer to the equator than we are here. But not that far. There was a cold front that went through. It was real fucking cold. So like you're on a river like basically on these inner tubes. They're sitting on top ones over the bottom. At least your butt's not in the water, right? They've got like the bottom on it. Yeah. And so we're like tied to the boat and they're like being driven like by our, our guides who were underneath like their shit and being warm and just like not paying attention to like
Jerk (:Yeah, the mesh.
Bitch (:the tourists are just like hooked to this boat and just like kind of pass along. But at some point you get off that and you swim through this river that have like the best current and you're in life jackets. So it's pretty much like this current just shaking you downstream while you like you're Supermaning it. And that was gorgeous with you having to get back in the tube, but it was like, no, don't go back in the tube. It was so warm in the river. Uh, so.
Jerk (:Dragging me around.
Jerk (:Nice.
Bitch (:And we get in that and we're going back. Finally, let me get through that. We go have a traditional Mexican fajita lunch, which I've never had in my life. And so we do that and then we're going back to the ship. So the river we went to was an hour and a half from coast of Maya is actually the name of the port is not the name of the town, which is the name of that port. So this was an hour and a half from there. And so we're coming back.
And on the way down there, we'd seen this nasty wreck, right? And there was this 18 wheeler, we saw a jackknife on the side of the road and we were stuck in traffic for it, but probably stuck in like 20 minutes or whatever. So on the way back, it was not that, it was whatever, because we went down there at like 10.30 in the morning. So the traffic, this way backing up at 10.30 in the morning had now backed up all the way like through where we were. And so we got stuck in a two hour traffic jam.
But thankfully it wasn't just us, like there was 200 people from the cruise ship that were like stuck in this like line. And because it's Mexico and you know, like sometimes people just don't follow rules. Like people are just making up their own lanes. Like, you know, we drove off like by now, like some points there was three lanes, some point there was two lanes.
Some points cars would just stop and people would just get out, go talk on their phone, take pictures, meet each other, smoke a cigarette, get back in their car, then like drive a few. Like there was an 18-wheeler decided to turn around on this like two-lane road. And we're like, we're going to see another one. And finally, like we see like this truck coming through, like, and it is a military truck that is open on top, is full of Mexico's Marines. And they all have like...
like rifles and like things I don't even know what they were because they're Mexican guns and They're just like get back in one line And so they like squeeze everybody back in one line and they had to Because they finally got the truck out what they did was they cut it into three different parts So they cut the trailer of the AT-1 into like three different parts They hauled out the front and then like kind of the back middles and they had to get like other trucks in there Pull them out, which is guess is why it's like, you know, like it is quite a project
Jerk (:all day.
Bitch (:But driving past it, we determined that truck was full of juice because all of the juice was on the side of the road and smell like you're driving through a damn tropical factory. And we like it was the most sober any of us yet. Yeah. And like shows are being like canceled like on the ship because there are bands like that are in like who went on excursions or in different things. And so
Jerk (:So orange juice, orange juice.
Bitch (:It was crazy. And then of course, like the rumors were flying. So my friends were there, like they found like, they're like, oh, you were in that wreck. You're okay. And we're like, we were in a wreck. So like half the crews like thought like people like gotten the wrecks and like it was all sorts of crazy stuff.
Jerk (:Yeah, that's crazy. But you had a good time and you saw a lot of bands.
Bitch (:So it's all right with you. Yeah.
Bitch (:I saw a lot of bands. I met Jake Burns. Nobody gives a shit about that but me, but I met Jake Burns and his wife. It was awesome. It was a good time. So, and I'm making, I'm making Dave and Diana come with me next year.
Babe (:I saw a video this afternoon of, I think it was from the crews at the Vandals, uh, covering their Queen song that they like to do.
Bitch (:Vandals were really fun. There was lots of very athletic moves that were happening. Yeah, no. So let's talk about this episode because it's gonna be a long one. We may have to split and this is like we may release this in two parts. I don't give a shit. All right, so this title is Party on Garth and that is funny because it's a tribute to Wayne's World, which was one of three videos that were playing on the screw ship.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:So they like on the channels, there was a thing called new movies. And one of them just rotated between Wayne's worlds and Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. So that is all anybody saw like all of last week. So, and there are a number of Wayne's world references throughout this episode. And I don't wanna say them now, it would just bring them up as they go along, I think. Okay.
Jerk (:It's funny.
Jerk (:That's hilarious.
Jerk (:Mmm.
Bitch (:So this first aired March 30th, 2012, which of note is long before a family business brewery was opened. I meant to look to see when that opened and I forgot to, but I know it was after this. Pretty sure. Yeah, for sure. It was directed by Phil Scriccia and written by Adam Glass. And those are two of our long time favorites. So let's just take this away. And also we should point out that babe has not watched this episode at all.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Jerk (:I'm not seeing this. Nope, nope. There was, there was, there happened, there happened to be a football game on American football to be specific game on at the time that I was viewing.
Babe (:That's correct. So I'm going to have all sorts of insightful commentary during this one.
Bitch (:But.
Bitch (:But we are bringing him in as our Japanese subject matter expert.
Jerk (:Yes.
Babe (:Yeah, for my 10 months of work in Japan, I know all of it.
Bitch (:He knows much better than we like you know Diana you were there for a week, right?
Jerk (:Yes.
Jerk (:Yeah, I'm wearing my hair, my shirt from Harajuku even in honor of it. There you go.
Bitch (:It's fucking hot. It's a great shirt and I have never been there and that'll affect things later. So Diana, let's get started. What's happening as we start this off?
Jerk (:We got teenagers in the woods telling ghost stories camping. That that's what we got. So which we all obviously know they're telling ghost stories. Somebody's going to die. And they tell the story about Jenny Green Tree, who froze to death in the woods and her initials are carved in this tree and she haunts the woods. And then they hear a noise and they're all jumping because one of the one of the kids, his brother, Trevor, is a dick and shows up drunk and is going to fuck with them. And.
Bitch (:They're gonna die. Don't go in the woods.
Bitch (:He's a ginger, he's got no soul. You can clearly tell he's an asshole, just look at him.
Jerk (:And brother's all like, Oh, I'm so worried about you. Did you drive out here? You're drunk because apparently Trevor also got wasted and drove out to meet them. And then but he hears something in the woods and he goes to he tells them they all need to run, but he's already been fucking with them. So obviously nobody's going to listen to him. Duh.
Bitch (:Also, why run into the woods? Run into your drunk, Trevor. You clearly had no problems driving a drunk out there. Like get into it now and hit whatever's chasing you. What the fuck is wrong with you? Dumbass redhead. Sorry, we love redheads.
Jerk (:Great.
Jerk (:So he runs, he runs off, they hear a yell, and so his brother goes to find him. And he dead. His little puffer vest has all been shredded with this little fluff pulled out of it and blood everywhere.
Bitch (:He has no guts.
Bitch (:I say, no guts, no glory.
Jerk (:And then we kick in with an amazing song. We've got, That Girl Is Poison by Belle Biv DeVoe starts playing.
Bitch (:It was.
Oh, I was hoping you were going to start singing it. I, are you not, you're not, you're not going to sing it, Diana? I mean, we would like you to. No, it was really, it starts over the puh puh.
Jerk (:That girl is poison
Jerk (:You want me to do the beatbox part? No, pass, pass. No one wants me to do that. No, no.
Bitch (:No, you're not gonna, you're not gonna, no, no. But who is it? Who is in, and what car is it? What is this car that's coming up?
Jerk (:It is Garth in his Ford. Dave, help me identify it.
Bitch (:And what is your opinion on the Ford Ranchero, which I thought was the El Camino? Explain to me the difference, what's the difference between an El Camino and a Ranchero, Dave?
Jerk (:It's this.
Babe (:The El Camino was made by General Motors Corporation, Chevrolet division. And the Ranchero was made by Ford based on the Gran Torino platform.
Bitch (:but they look the same. Did you? I do. I wish you guys, I wish you guys had bought a truck car. I'm kind of disappointed, not gonna lie. I love it. Oh, the new ones? Yeah, no, the new ones. No, I'm not a fan. No.
Jerk (:There we go.
Babe (:They look the same. Yeah, it's a truck car. Whatever.
Jerk (:It's a truck car.
Jerk (:I've got mixed feelings about the truck cars. I like the old one, like El Camino and Roger, yeah. I've got mixed feelings, mixed feelings. So it's Garth and we're excited. And he strolls up trying to act all smooth to two young women who were two of the campers and in his aviators and he's gonna, and they're totally mocking him until he flashes his US marshals badge. But.
And they basically try he has the experience of trying to question to teenage girls
Bitch (:And then they're just, I was like, and then they're boot lickers. And then like he hard, he hard harasses teenage girls. Like anyways, I love him so much though. He's so hot. Like, is he like, is just like, he whips that badge out and he's like, I'm in charge, like it's so good.
Jerk (:No, he does not. They just, they just go, they just go straight.
Jerk (:Sure. Well, they do the teenage girl thing and talk over each other. And then they and then he finally gets them to talk one on one. And they're like, oh, yeah, I was Jenny. Jenny Green Tree. She died in the woods and is buried in the town cemetery. So it's like, cool, this is easy. I'm going to go solve this case because I'm a hunter and I'm going to go to the cemetery and dig up Jenny's body and salt it and burn it and say, you've been garthed.
Bitch (:I love him.
Jerk (:says it. And then poison starts again. And we get a slow mo walk away with fire in the background. It's pretty epic. Poison, poison, like that. Is that what you want me to do?
Bitch (:Poison. It is so epic. Yes, exactly.
Jerk (:It's driving me out of my
Why it's hard for me. OK, I'm stopping. All right. That's it. That's it. So Ryan is Trevor's brother, and so now he's drinking alone in his pickup truck with a gun because he wants to go hunt whatever killed his brother. Setting the scene for something. Yeah, setting a really healthy scene.
Bitch (:Okay, we can't afford any more pass that stop stop. Okay.
Babe (:That's right, under 15 seconds, under 15 seconds.
Bitch (:Healthy. It's not a wascoly wabbit, yeah.
Bitch (:He goes, I wouldn't say like, no, but everybody drinks and then goes hunting because that's very safe.
Jerk (:I mean, no one does that ever. Oh. Well, he goes, he gets out of the truck to go search and see some weird ass chick in a white dress with long hair, and he's kind of trying to look for her. And then all of a sudden he gets lifted up into a tree and he's dead.
Bitch (:Nobody would ever do that. That's not why Dick Cheney exists. Okay.
Bitch (:eviscerated.
Jerk (:Yeah, so he's dead. But we get back to go to Garth and he is very stoked at his Salvadorian food truck on a phone with some chick and he is calling sweetie and he's got his food coming out. He has got some empanadas. He's ready to fucking roll. I'm assuming.
Bitch (:And it should be noted the Guanaco food truck that he is in front of is actually a real Vancouver food truck and it serves Salvadorian food and is owned by supernatural camera assistant, John Manzano and declared by Jim Michaels as the favorite food truck of the casting crew. So I don't know if they still exist, but they did it this time. They look delicious.
Jerk (:Well, he's hanging up with his sweetheart, apparently, and about to eat. But then his police scanner goes off and there's another body. And he says, no way. I garthed her. I'm going to have a I got I got a little commentary on the scanners. So it is coming up again in this episode. Is this scanner on all the time? Because if it is, it would have a lot more chatter than just when the magic one dead body they need to know about going, you know, getting reported. But that's.
Bitch (:Hehehe
Bitch (:Yeah, it is all the time and now this is TV magic.
Jerk (:That's my bitch.
I know. All right. Well, we've got. I know. Pay attention. Yeah.
Bitch (:Cause it would also be like background noise. Like, and then you would like go in like once it went from like you would hear voices change and what the
Jerk (:Yeah, it's it was just my TV magic bitch.
Bitch (:All right. That's exactly how it sounds on a scanner.
Babe (:That was that was an excellent reenactment. I felt like I was there.
Bitch (:Right? You just know the cops are going to come running now.
Jerk (:Well, we now cut to our Winchester's where Sam's driving and Dean's on the phone with Meg. And now this is our one update on Castiel is that we know he's still fucked up because he tells her to let him to call if he wakes up. And Sam's like super fucking like bum because he's
Bitch (:What do you see? What is what does Dean say as he hangs up on her? He's like what a bitch which is why I was like Dean's on the phone with that bitch Meg If you forgot that she was a bitch so easily I know I won you over to her side, but damn
Jerk (:A little bit. So but Sam basically feels guilty that he like he feels like the chick from the ring because he passed on the crazy to Castiel, which is another fun reference. What?
Bitch (:What? Is this a reference? Like we don't even know. This is something he just says in passing.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm. And then Garth calls, so now they're going to go try to help him out in Junction City, Kansas.
Bitch (:We do learn that Garth's full name is Garth Fitzgerald IV. So there have been three previous Garths, which I think is a board name.
Jerk (:Yes.
Jerk (:Yeah. So we go to the coroner's office, Sam and Dean in their suits, and they're going to meet Corporal Brown, who is Garth in a kind of sort of army uniform. And like his whole thing is that he's. Ish.
Bitch (:It was like Desert Storm branded camouflage-ish, like that weird, like, I don't even like...
Jerk (:Sand deserts. Yeah, desert came out. It was weird anyways. And his whole story is how he's visiting his dead cousin before he ships out or something. But he didn't even realize that these two victims were brothers. It's all terrible, terrible research and hunting work by Garth in this.
Bitch (:It's not good.
Bitch (:But the coroner doesn't give a shit. He's just like, whatever, have my day. You guys, these strangers, I just met with no paperwork. Just hang out with this corpse, it's fine. I'll get you, I will, and I will give you the files, this other one too. That's cool, that's cool. No paperwork required at all, just take them.
Jerk (:and have all the files. And have all the files.
Jerk (:So Dean's scanning the body for any EMF readings and it really goes off and girl's like, oh, I did that, but mine didn't do anything. So maybe it's my EMF readers broken again.
Bitch (:which as I've been out with many ghost hunters and all our EMF readers seem to be broken.
Jerk (:weird. And they were like they were looking at the body and trying to figure out what's going on. They're like, this looks less like evil spirit, more like monster chow. So they're trying to figure out what could have done this. And Dean's only thing so far is invisible ghost werewolf. Invisible ghost were.
Bitch (:That's my next band, my next soccer billy band.
Jerk (:I was gonna say, who's gonna take that one up? And in Sam's research, he asks, who's heard of thigh slapper ale? And...
Bitch (:And Dave, have you heard the name thigh slapper? What will be your first question?
Babe (:Oh man. I don't... I mean...
Bitch (:There is an answer that they have. So I just want to hear what your first reaction would be.
Babe (:thigh slapper ale. I mean it sounds like a fucking reference if from being honest about it but maybe if you drink enough of it then some thigh slapping is gonna happen.
Bitch (:Nope, the correct answer is stripper or beer.
Babe (:Okay. Yeah.
Jerk (:Yeah, yeah, it's close, close. Uh, or as Dean says, a beverage for douchebags.
Bitch (:It was close, it was there.
Bitch (:which is why it's the hardcore brailling into microbeers in here, which is hilarious because he owns one.
Jerk (:they do.
Yeah, they own one. So they're basically they figure out that the owner of this brewery is the dad of both the brothers that have now been killed. So they're going to go to the brewery and they meet the sister Marie who is there. And she is owned by her dad and Randy Baxter.
Bitch (:So she's a sister to the other two that are dead. So we now have a third, we have a sister. She's, I feel, I say that like as important, David might be, I don't know.
Jerk (:dead. The dead guys.
Jerk (:There's a sibling. So, and they reference that this guy Dale died that used to be their third partner. And we'll hear Randy just totally berating the staffer there and it's kind of uncomfortable and they're like, oh, he's fucking, it's uncomfortable.
Bitch (:Kind of. No, no, like I'm just call general strike and on behalf of this dude. But yeah, he's just be reading the shit out of this guy and she doesn't comfortably go, it's just like, yeah, he is the, what is they call him? He's the ax man. They just think like it's a good, it was a hilarious title. No.
Jerk (:I don't remember the Axeman. That's right. So but they don't fire this guy. They don't fire him. They're just he just gets scolded. But so Dean's going to walk around with Marie and go tour the place while Garth and Sam go talk to good old Jim McCann and Randy the Axeman.
Bitch (:Uhhh...
Jerk (:And Garth wants to ask questions like, did he have enemy to the sons of enemies? And they're like, what are you talking about? I thought this was an animal attack. And and then they're like, no, that they didn't work for the breweries. I don't know what you're talking about. But Jim's just very upset because both of his sons just fucking got murdered by something in the woods. So he needs to go rest. So Randy's going to hang out. In the meantime, Marie's talking to Dean talking about she's like really worried about her dad. It was bad enough when Dale died.
Bitch (:Yeah, yeah.
Jerk (:That was their other partner, but now this on top of it. So we find out that Dale apparently killed himself and he was apparently very sensitive and had issues for a very long time. And now Dale's widow is suing the brewery because she's angry, grieving, and this is America.
Bitch (:I think that's a solid statement, but also once again, don't go in the woods or you die. I think that is the theme of this episode.
Jerk (:I think that's like a thing. It's like, there's a stupid meme I saw today. It just reminds me, it's like, I'm not outdoorsy, I'm outsidey. Like I don't want to like go like camping and all of that and go on like a big hike. I want to sit outside and have a glass of wine and go through a nice little stroll and then go back to my cozy ass like place. I'm like, yeah.
Bitch (:I'm sorry.
Bitch (:I love.
Bitch (:You know me, I love getting drunk in the woods. I go running through the woods at night with, but I also run in there with, you know, a thermal imaging camera so I can see like when the accelerator is coming to me. Like you wouldn't see me like in this like fucking like tents out there by myself, God no. Like I was watching, there's this new movie called Ghosted with Chris Evans. It's on Apple TV and you should watch this. See, this is how we become Amazon influencers.
Jerk (:I know you do.
Bitch (:Uh, it was so, but in there at like one point, I don't know, maybe it wasn't that I was watching something and somebody was in like a tent and like this hand was coming out and, and oh, it was, I think it was Velma. All right. So it's watching Velma. And so this hand's like coming on this thing. It was just like, where's your gun? It was something that was like watching somebody in a tent and I was like, where's your gun? And I remembered they were in Canada and I was like, that's why you don't have a gun. All these kids should have guns though. Like, oh, there's
Jerk (:Nope.
Jerk (:Um, that'll do it. So.
Well, the one did and it didn't help.
Bitch (:Yeah, yeah, that was fair, but he also got drunk before he had it.
Jerk (:Slow your reaction time down. So Randy's telling Sam and Garth that he was the godfather to Jim's kids and it's because he had none of his own. And yeah. And then he also shares that it was supposed to be, it was extra sad when Dale killed himself because it was supposed to be a really big year because they were selling thigh slapper to a big distributor.
Bitch (:Sounds creepy.
Bitch (:They were selling their small microbrewery to a major corporate distributor, and one of them thought it was great.
Jerk (:Hmm
Jerk (:Hmm. So we cut to a blonde woman and making a screwdriver for herself and pouring orange juice for a little girl. This is the other. So this is another member of the McCann family. This is the members of the make it now, but they're members of the McCann family. That's what we know that they are because Jim shows up there. But when she.
Bitch (:It's very confusing. Like they're not explaining who these people are.
Bitch (:And we also know clearly this woman is a bad parent because she did not smartly put her vodka drink in a different color glass and what she was like putting her other child's drinking. If you put vodka in there, you put, you have to market like exactly. It should like for all, it should actually just say mommy juice on it. Right? Like your kid knows you're drinking.
Jerk (:Now, mommy juice. Yeah.
Jerk (:Yeah, the mommy juice cup has to be separate.
Jerk (:I mean, I've definitely bought a mommy juice cup for someone before. So yeah, labeled. Yeah, so the little girl accidentally takes a sip of the wrong thing. And she knows right away, she makes that face and like, Oh, my gosh, and like hands up, you know, and drinks her regular orange juice.
Bitch (:I also love the girls reaction like she's not surprised at all that there's vodka in this cup. She like drinks it. She's like, Oh, no. And then like, I get you girl. Like, I have those parents. I'm here. Like, you're just like, we just don't talk about this. Like, I just put this drink back. It's like 10 o'clock in the morning. Mommy's got some juice. You know, it's not if you're making a screwdriver for yourself, like in the middle of the day or it.
Jerk (:Well, she's she had this one step.
Uhhh...
Babe (:It was probably well vodka too.
Jerk (:Uhhhhhh...
Babe (:You're not using kettle wine when you do that.
Jerk (:Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Bitch (:For one set, like, which means like,
Jerk (:It was a very strong, not let more vodka. The ratio of vodka to orange juice must have been something. So she's like telling Jim's there and he's asking what she's drawing. And she's just real giggling. But she looks up and she sees a shadow thing down the hall. And so she does real creepy kid shit and like goes and looks like chases the shadow around. It's real weird. And then. Anyways, I don't know. This scene makes me uncomfortable. Mom, the mom is making a sandwich and then she sees the.
Bitch (:Yeah, and then eventually, yeah, and then eventually.
Jerk (:the creepy chick in the long white dress and the long black hair standing behind the mom.
Bitch (:Yeah, so mom can't see the ring girl, not just some columnar rest of this, the fucking ring girl. The mom cannot see the fucking ring girl, and with the child can't. And then the child does like this real creepy, creepy pointy thing and she points out it without saying shit and like, use your words. Use your words. If there is a scary shit like bitch behind me, like you tell me, you don't just point.
Jerk (:The Rain Girl, The Rain Girl.
Jerk (:Like point and stare.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Jerk (:Yeah, no, it's not not. It's just it's just rude and terrifying at that point. So and then the mom turns around and the ring chick reaches through her back and pulls her guts out and she did. But but the dad or Jim and the little girl is the only one that can see the ring chick. Nobody else can see what's happening. How fucking terrifying would that be? You just see someone's like guts get ripped out with nothing holding onto them.
Bitch (:Whoa!
Bitch (:scary.
Jerk (:I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
Babe (:Zero stars.
Jerk (:Yeah, that's I was going to try to share with babe a picture of the of the ghost or the ring chick. But yeah, there we go.
Bitch (:Yep. So we cut from that to our trio walking into this motel, which Garth got because he wants a hot tub, hot, hot tub. He wants a hot tub because you want to relax when you get down with it. Sorry, I can't use words anymore. So he got this motel because the hot tub, which is what you want after a long day at the office.
Jerk (:Ha.
Jerk (:Yeah, within a room that you're sharing with two other people, two other dudes and they had to be in the middle of the room, not in the bathroom, just to be clear.
Bitch (:Two other dudes. Nice.
Nice. Yeah, I've had some rooms where I've had that happen. I'm like, why is this hub in the middle of the room? What do you think? It's weird. It's weird.
Jerk (:And he feels really bad for the brewery dudes with their kids getting ganked by an unknown freakadee.
Bitch (:So bad, so bad.
Jerk (:He says, anyways, so Dean is just generally annoyed by microbreweries and makes that very fucking clear. And I kind of am, too. But then it's also I don't care that much. So it's kind of funny. But he grabs it. Yeah, he takes a swig of one of the beers and then he's like, that's really good. It's awesome. Yeah.
Bitch (:Yeah, but then also because of this, he does the exact thing, the same thing.
Bitch (:You got damn it. Like he has to like it. And which is like, yeah, you know, sometimes we say, I don't like these things because you know, I want to be reverse snobbery about them, but sometimes artisanal things taste really good.
Jerk (:But I'm not into good beer, I know this, so that's my problem. I like garbage beer. I do, it's okay. So Garth chugs his beer and starts burping and giggling and he's already drunk. But.
Bitch (:Yes, you do like you do like shitty you like shitty garbage beer.
Bitch (:Impressively.
Yeah, of course he's drunk. He drank an entire beer.
Jerk (:One whole beer.
Bitch (:but he doesn't drink beer because his mess messes with his depth perception especially when he's skinny dips.
Jerk (:Oh, well, Sam's done some digging and we figure out Dale, the dead partner, left two weeks, left the company two weeks before his death. And so maybe he didn't want to sell and maybe he's the angry spirit. And then all of a sudden their scanner goes off once again, just, it's been silent. And now all of a sudden the scanner goes off and there's some, a body at the McCann residence.
Bitch (:They paid extra for that app. Like it's just an extra subscription thing that on there.
Jerk (:So now they go to the McCann residence and then Sam's going to stay back while Garth and Dean go. Hmm. Huh. And they want to try to get this little girl to talk because they're convinced she saw something, but she's just not she has no interest. She does not want to say anything to anybody, you know, to especially to Garth and Dean. And they agree to leave their child with these two unidentified men.
Bitch (:Untutu identified strange middle-aged dudes. Just like, I'll leave my young girl with you. That's fine. Oh, and then Begar was like, this is great. My special lady has twins.
Jerk (:Yeah, so apparently his girlfriend has kids and Garth pulls out Mr. Fizzles, which is not a youth.
Bitch (:Mr. Fizzles?
Babe (:That sound, as someone who didn't watch that episode, pulling out Mr. Fizzles has a kind of has a tone to it.
Bitch (:It's like the fish is all. He's a sock puppet that Garth has had in his pocket and he pulls it out and Mr. Fusils is going to talk to this little Tara.
Jerk (:It's a sock puppet.
Jerk (:And Dean is incredibly unimpressed with this, not amused.
Bitch (:not amused. He's unamused Mr. Fizzles and he doesn't understand. But Tess, however, being a child likes Mr. Fizzles because, you know, yelling at a child to get answers sometimes isn't the best approach. Go figure!
Jerk (:Let's go.
Jerk (:Yeah, we're scaring them into talking. So she tells them, she tells them it was a monster and Mr. Fizzle believes hers. And then she clams up at first, but then she admits that she had a grownup drink and it was an accident.
Bitch (:And she's afraid that they're gonna arrest her. So that's why she wasn't telling the cops, because she thought that she was gonna go to jail because.
Jerk (:because she had to, because she drank alcohol.
Jerk (:I'm growing up to your, you're growing up drink. Sam is visiting Dale's widow and she's like, yeah, no, Dale was awesome at brewing. He traveled the world for the best ingredients and he was, the partners were selling out the company from under him and I'm furious and I hate them. They left him behind. And even then, like she knew that he, that he wanted to forgive them.
So Dale sent a gift to them to let them know that he forgave them.
Bitch (:I think that everything she says is completely righteous and I love her. She's standing up for a man. She's like these guys fucked her, fucked him over. I don't care anymore. And so sorry, I clapped on the mic, but it's going to be like, this makes really sense. But you know, what's your, what does this bottle of sake mean? Why is it being so nice?
Jerk (:It's a big bottle of sake and it was a big gorgeous box covered in writing But he wouldn't let his wife touch it and I immediately go god damn it. It's a cursed bottle of sake
Bitch (:Suck it, suck it, suck it. There's a, like I was telling Diana, there is a Japanese folk metal band. But on Spotify, they don't listen to who they are. Like, they just say like, Suck it by a Japanese folk metal band. I'm like, I need to know who this band is. And I couldn't find it, but they have a great song. It's just Suck it, Suck it, Suck it.
Jerk (:Yeah, so back in the car, Dean and Garth are talking about why they can only sometimes be this monster can be seen. And Garth makes a reference to mutants, but Dean is the one that pieces together the alcohol connection. So now.
Bitch (:It's a monster you gotta be drunk to see. Oh boy.
Jerk (:Yeah. Mm hmm. Said cool, but also hard to fight. So but and in response.
Babe (:That's a valid point.
Bitch (:know, like I have been in like, allegedly, fights when I was drunk. And I will tell you that I fight just as good drunk as I do sober. Allegedly.
Jerk (:I-is it better?
Jerk (:Well, Dean takes a swig of his flask and, you know, he's like he does. And Garth says that he only drinks wine coolers. But Garth does ask about his, quote, grody flask, which Dean explains was Bobby's. And he asks, Garth asks if Bobby has been riding your wave.
So he's asking if Bobby's hanging around, his spirit's hanging around, and Dean's like, nope, shutting the shit down. Nope, we did a Hunter's Wake, there's no fucking way. And Garth's like, well, my cousin got stuck, and there's ghosts in India, and they cremate everybody. But.
Bitch (:And they also flash back to the, during this, they flash back to the EMF that like went off earlier. So you see that by the flasks too. And I think that starts like putting like things together.
Jerk (:It's our little hints. So Sam calls and so they're all gonna meet at the brewery where when I say meet at the brewery, I mean, they're gonna commit breaking B&E at the brewery, which is what they're doing. They're breaking in.
Bitch (:it's fine, they're hunters. And in that, you know, it also just looks like a warehouse too, but it's like a brewery warehouse. So like sort of like Diana's space, you know.
Jerk (:No, it's a brewery. That's very warehousing. So they've got, you know, Sam and Dean find this wooden go into the office. They find this wooden box with this bottle of sake inside of it. And the wax seal on the sake is broken. And Dean notices the camera in the corner of the office. And he says, God, I love paranoid people. And Sam now knows how to pull up all the camera access. So he's like, yeah, we're going to rewind and.
Bitch (:You know, he was like, Sam, it's just like, it's my... Like, it's almost like it's MY turn! He was like, du du, I just learned how to hack into a security camera! And then he was like, we're live! I'm the new Master Hacker!
Jerk (:Yeah, I can do this too. But they're going to rewind and see who opened this damn bottle. And guess who? It was good old Trevor. When Trevor teenage Trevor broke into the office and wanted to get loaded before he went to go bother his brother in the woods. And he did that with the sake. Kids always pick the dumbest drinks, right?
Bitch (:Fucking redheads. I'm sorry, redheads.
Bitch (:Right? Oh my god, we drank so much of our so many things because we didn't know what anything in that liquor cabinet was. Like, you know, you had to like try them all to learn that they all taste awful.
Jerk (:so much Midori melon and what the f***
Babe (:You learned that a two liter bottle of wine probably isn't very good.
Jerk (:Oh
Bitch (:Especially if it says like fermented, like what is that dog call itself? Why? Like for something wine. Um, damn it. That's not that shows that we have, we drank too much mad dog and Thunderbird in her. I never drank that. What? Okay. God damn it. It's not fermented. Like there's a word for it. It was a 45. I don't know. It's, you know, my local is definitely one of them. So
Jerk (:Oh, God. All like all like the.
Jerk (:uh wine lacquer i don't know they call it it's gross yeah
Jerk (:malt liquor, I don't know. So they realize that they can't see what the fuck the monster is still. So they have to start drinking. So they just start fucking drinking the out of this little mini bar in this office, getting fucking loaded, watching.
Bitch (:No, no, not the mini bar, the bar. Like it's not a mini bar, this is a full off, like also it means at a bar, like whereas you're allowed to have this in your office, like it's a madman level of liquor in this office. And they're just drinking straight up whiskey and just like downing it. And like their livers, like, like they're like, where's Mr. Fizzles? And just like.
Jerk (:with Abaria.
Jerk (:Yeah.
It is.
Jerk (:Yeah, there's the shots are going down. And then suddenly in the rewind of the footage, they get drunk enough that they can see the ghost monster chick as I call her, AKA the ring chick. And she's freed from the box and she follows Trevor. And they're both drunk, dammit Dean. So.
Bitch (:Thumb in, girl.
Jerk (:They pour a little more, but right when they're about to have another drink, Randy shows up. And guess what? Randy's pissed because these two guys are sitting in his broken to his brewery, sitting in his office, drinking his booze, watching his security cameras.
Bitch (:Like you do, I mean, but they're like, but now we got a good reason.
Jerk (:and then he gets tased by Igarth.
Bitch (:Yeah, they do.
Jerk (:Oopsies. So now Sam and Dean have to drink coffee and they've got this sake box. Or Dean goes to meet up with this Japanese chef in an alley to have him interpret the text on this box. Drinking coffee.
Bitch (:Yeah, so they are very lucky that in this Kansas restaurant, there is actually a Japanese guy at the sushi restaurant. It's not just Pablo-san, like it is in most of the places.
Babe (:I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.
Jerk (:Yeah, because I would say the last time Dave and I went at Dave and I went at Sushi a couple weeks ago and it was phenomenal for the record. However, it was a very, a very Hispanic staff.
Babe (:Hehehe
Everybody.
Bitch (:Non-Japan, very non-Japanese, traditional. But so I also had a, we on the ship, we had tapen yaki and our tapen yaki chef knew of Hibachi really was like, you know, they got the Benihana dude. Uh, he said he was, there was somebody who was from Pennsylvania and he was like, oh yeah, I'm from South Philly. And he's like South Philippines. I loved him.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Jerk (:That is funny. Well, he said like, look, it's kind of like some eye for an eye kind of thing. Asked if they're superstitious and says that this bottle contains a shojo, which is an
Bitch (:Well he asks them if they're superstitious as he shoves his box back at them he's like, are you superstitious?!
Jerk (:You take this, you take this, because the bottle contains a shojo, which is an alcohol spirit. It's an old myth and they are not friendly.
Bitch (:They're not known for being friendly. So what are they known for?
Jerk (:I bet we'll find out during lore.
Bitch (:Alright, so real quick, so this is from Wikipedia, so take it with a grain, but it seems to trap. Asojo is Japanese reading, I guess the interpretation for the kanji for the word xing or in its older form sheng sheng, translated as live lively. It is a mythical primate, possibly related to an orangutan species, which sounds awesome. In the West, it is sometimes associated with a sea spirit,
known for its red face, hair, and love for alcohol. However, the concept of shoujo as a sea dwelling spirit likely originated from the fictional no play in TLDR. No is like super fancy Japanese theater, like one time ago, like it was very cool when I was like a theater major. I thought I wanted to learn all things about this, but yeah, but so there was a play called Shoujo.
And in that was based on a mention of an orangutan like creature who liked to drink liquor, which drunk monkeys everybody always loves. I've seen every Kung Fu Drunken Monkey movie. We all love it, right? So in this episode, though, the features of the shoujo align more with the onryo. And onryo, I cannot pronounce Japanese. I listened. I watched so many videos on how to say this. But one.
Japanese is very specific in its pronunciation to I have a memory of a hamster. So I apologize.
Jerk (:Dave, Dave's pretty good at his Japanese pronunciation.
Bitch (:So Dave, can you solve this word? How would you pronounce it?
Babe (:Alright, where is it? I'm looking...
Bitch (:It is the paragraph right above, you know, so it's the paragraph before that we start. So it on Rio on, on Rio.
Babe (:Oh, the onry yo, the yeah, if you have the line over the oh, that's the emphasis word so onry yo.
Bitch (:Unreal. Yeah, I was watching something that was talking about like the length of time for each of the Madras and it got and then I just got confused. So anyways, I'm just gonna say it badly or I don't have to say it all because it doesn't really come up in the story. So that word translates as ventral spirit or raspal spirits and TLDR and them. They are basically ventral ghosts, right? There are things that were done wrong to them in life.
particularly they're generally women. That's, oh, yeah, so what? Women were abused or mistreated. And this was like their only thing they can do. It was like, fine, you can fuck me in my life. I've got no power, but fuck off, bitch. I'm gonna haunt your ass. So think the grudge, think the ring, you know? So to learn more about them though, we are going to tell the Japanese folk tale of a promise broken with the help of babe.
So this version is adapted from a Japanese miscellany by La Fasadio Hearn, a great dude who really liked the Japanese and became a Japanese citizen at some point. So this is a collection of essays about Japanese life, folklore, and superstitions. For times, I paraphrase things, we're going to keep Hearn's dialogue with the rest is just, you know, things that I wrote. Also to help us out, there.
Diana has a mission.
Jerk (:I do. It's a very big test. We'll see how well I do.
Bitch (:All right, so we have a soundboard set up with certain things that are gonna happen during this tale that Dave and I are saying to Diana, who has never read the story, she does not know what's going on, but her mission, should she choose to accept it, is to provide us with some additional music or sound effects. Yep, so every time Diana hears a word bell,
Jerk (:I'm gonna try.
Ahem.
Bitch (:She has to give us a sound for a bell. Dogs, dogs will be dogs.
Babe (:Hahaha!
Bitch (:The word ox is the only sound effects I can found for us. And for a bonus and make it super extra difficult. Anytime somebody leaves her go, she has to play the horses. Dave, tell her what she will win if she does a great job.
Babe (:But she wins... ..stuff!
Bitch (:Okay, so Dave is promising Diana she can buy stuff. Okay, this is not a paycheck. Well, she could buy whatever she wanted to make her own damn money. Okay, so here we go. The tale of a promise broken. All right, so Dave and I will be switching off through this. A wife of a samurai lay dying. I am not afraid to die. She told her husband, there is only one thing that troubles me now. I wish that I could know.
Babe (:That's right.
Bitch (:Who would take my place in this house?
Babe (:My dear one, answer the sorrowing husband, nobody shall ever take your place in my home. I will never, never marry again." He was sincere.
Bitch (:samurai?" she asked with a feeble smile.
Babe (:On the faith of a samurai, he responded, stroking her gaunt, almost ozempic face.
Bitch (:Then my dear one, she said, you will let me be buried in the garden, will you not? Near those plum trees we planted at the further end. I wanted to long ago ask this, but I thought that if you were to marry again, you would not like to have my grave so near you. Now you have promised that no other woman shall take my place, so I need not hesitate to speak of my wish. I want so much to be buried in the garden.
I think that in the garden, I should sometimes hear your voice and that I should still be able to see the flowers in the spring.
Babe (:It shall be as you wish, he answered. But do not now speak of burial. You are not so ill that we have lost all hope.
Bitch (:I have, she said, bumming him out more. I shall die this morning, but will you bury me in the garden?
Babe (:Yes, he said, under the shade of the plum trees that we planted, and you shall have a beautiful tomb there.
Bitch (:And will you give me a little bell?
Babe (:Bell?
Bitch (:Part of this will be Diana learning how to stop that too. So yes, I want you to put a little bell in the coffin. Such a little bell as the Buddhist pilgrims carry. Shall I have it?
Jerk (:Yes.
Babe (:You shall have the little bell and anything else that you wish.
Jerk (:It's...
Bitch (:I do not wish her anything else, my dear one. You have been very good to me always. Now I can die happy." Then she closed her eyes and died and left a beautiful corpse. And she was buried under the trees with her bell and got her tombstone with the cameo or posthumous name, Great Elder Sister, Luminous Shadow of the Blood and Fault, Flowered Chamber, dwelling in the mansion of the Great Sea of Compassion. But
not even a year had gone by before the samurai's relatives and friends pressured him to remarry so he could have children to carry on the family line and honor the ancestors. He caved and married a 17 year old and he found that he could love this child bride. Things were fine for a week or so, but then the samurai had to leave to go to the castle at night and left her alone. At first, glad not to have to share a bed with a middle-aged man for the night,
Her mood changed as the night got longer. The atmosphere grew thick. Then, at the hour of the ox,
Bitch (:whenever the fuck that is, she's starting to hear a bell ring!
Bitch (:She wondered what pilgrim could be passing through the samurai quarter so late. Just ringing a bell when peeps are trying to get some sleep. So then the bell.
Bitch (:started ringing louder, and she felt like it was coming straight towards a new bedchamber. And then the dogs.
Bitch (:started whining and howling. Fuck my life, she thought. She tried to get up to run for health, but she couldn't move. She couldn't scream. The dogs got louder.
Bitch (:Then passing right through the walls came the figure of a woman robed in a grave robe and carrying a little pilgrim's bell.
I don't know what the fuck a grave robe is specifically, but I want one. Child bride realizes, oh shit, it's a dead wife. And she looks like for the chick from the ring and the chick from the grudge. And then she did the speaking through her hair thing, probably while making those neck cracking jerks. And she's, and then the old, the woman, the dead woman in the grave robe said, not in this house.
Jerk (:Hmm. I don't like that.
Bitch (:Not in this house shall you say, Here I am mistress still, you shall go. And you should tell to no one the reason of your going. If you tell him, I will tear you into pieces." And then she vanished. The child bride was now beyond freak the fuck out. And she remained that way until daybreak, when she eventually convinced herself that it was just a dream or a PMS.
Jerk (:Yeah, reasonable.
Bitch (:So she didn't say anything about this and went just about doing her thing, whatever that child prize thing was. The next night though, again at the hour of the ox,
Jerk (:What is the hour of the ox?
Bitch (:Yeah, fuck it. I looked it up. In Eater Era Japan, people likely use the animals of the Chinese zodiac, which were I thought about having animals for each of these, but the rat, dragon, monkey, ox, snake, rooster, tiger, horse, rabbit, sheep, dog and pig to tell the time and so the hour before sunrise was the hour of the tiger. Dawn was the hour the rabbit noon was mid horse and dusk was the hour the rooster hour of the ox was likely sometime between one to one to three, but
Jerk (:Oh
Jerk (:Yeah, that makes sense.
Jerk (:Okay.
Jerk (:Millenai.
Bitch (:I'm very sad we don't have animal clocks. Can you imagine how great that would be? This is like, you know, it's now, ah, yay. It's rabbit 30, half past rabbit. Meet you at sheep o'clock. So anyways, once again, we got the bell.
Jerk (:What time is it? It's, it's rabbit 30.
Babe (:Hahaha
Bitch (:and the dogs.
Jerk (:I mean the bell would upset the dogs, that's reasonable.
Bitch (:It would. And here comes dead wife and she is still pissed. You shall go and you shall tell to no one why you must go. If you even did whisper it to him, I will tear you into pieces. This time she came closer and she did the weird crawling thing they all do. And that freaked her out more. And so the next time when the samurai came home.
Babe (:Yeah, true.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:The child bride threw herself before him. I beseech you to pardon my ingratitude. I don't know what accent that is. And my great raveness in these addressing you. But I want to go home. I want to go away at once.
Babe (:Are you not happy here? He asked in sincere surprise. Has anyone dared to be unkind to you during my absence?
Bitch (:It's not that, she answered sobbing. Everyone here has been only too good to me, but I cannot continue to be your wife. I must go away.
Babe (:My dear, he exclaimed, it is very painful to know that you have had any cause for unhappiness in this house, but I cannot even imagine why you should want to go away unless somebody has been very unkind to you. Surely you do not mean that you wish for a divorce?
Bitch (:She responded, shriveling and weeping, if you do not give me a divorce, I will die.
Babe (:He stared at his child bride wondering how she could have gone this bat shit this fast that usually is like a month into a relationship. Was she fucking someone else already? Was it PMS? But then I'm reading this for the first time, but, but then he remembered he was a middle-aged man and didn't need to listen to what any woman in his household said. So without any emotion, he said,
To send you back now to your people without any fault on your part would seem a shameful act. If you tell me a good reason for your wish, any reason that will enable me to explain matters honorably, I can write you a divorce. But unless you give me a reason, and a good reason, I will not divorce you, for the honor of our house must be kept above reproach.
Bitch (:She caved and told him everything. But she knew, now that I've let you know, she will kill me, she will kill me.
Babe (:The samurai wondered if just maybe what she said was true, but then he remembered she was a silly girl and had probably confused herself after sniffing too much whatever silly girls do in Edo Japan sniffed. My dear, he explained, you are now very nervous and I fear that someone has been telling you foolish stories. I cannot give you a divorce merely because you have had a bad dream in this house, but I am very sorry indeed that you should have been suffering in such a way during my absence. Tonight, also.
Jerk (:Oh
Babe (:I must be at the castle, but you shall not be alone. I will order two of the retainers to keep watch in your room and you will be able to sleep in peace. They are good men and they will take all possible care of you.
Bitch (:So he took off.
Jerk (:RUDE.
Bitch (:leaving her with two dudes who were used to being left behind to babysit the boss's ladies. They told her funny stories and made her laugh so much that she forgot she was afraid. And she must have fallen asleep, but then the darn hour of the ox.
Jerk (:What the-
Bitch (:came and with it the bell.
Jerk (:Oh
Bitch (:which started at the dogs again.
And she tried to scream, but she still couldn't do that. She ran to the dudes and they were just staring at each other over their game board frozen in place. And now her voice came out and she screamed at them and she slapped them. She was like, wait the fuck up. And they did nothing. And afterwards they claimed to have heard the bell.
Bitch (:and the dogs.
Bitch (:And even then they felt the attempt to shake them awake, but they just couldn't move or speak, and then they blacked the fuck out.
Jerk (:That's terrifying.
Babe (:The samurai returned at dawn, entered his chamber to find Child Bride's headless body in a pool of blood. The guys were still stuck in their sleep thing, but came back to consciousness and they too saw the headless corpse of the Child Bride, not given a name anywhere in this version of the folktale. But the head, where was her head? It was nowhere to be found. And if you looked at her neck, it was obvious it had been torn off.
Jerk (:Gross.
Babe (:There was a blood trail and three men followed it into the garden and they saw her, the dead wife hair all scary like, and on one hand, and in one hand a bell and in the other hand, the dripping head. For a moment, they just stared. Then one of them probably screaming something like not today, pitch or maybe some kind of Buddhist incarnation ran at her. But instead of fighting, she crumbled into a pile of grave rags, not as cool as a grave robe. And the bell went.
rolling clanking as it went.
All that was left of great elder sister, luminous shadow of the plum flower chamber, dwelling in the mansion of the great sea of compassion was bones and that fucking hair. Except for her right hand, it still gripped the bloody head of the poor, she don't get a name child bride.
Bitch (:The end! Or was it? Because now a serious child brag is gonna be the next one, right? Because now she was wronged, right? So that's how this goes.
Jerk (:I think so.
Bitch (:So that is the tale of a promise broken. Thank you, babe, for that wonderful, and Diana, I think you were an excellent, excellent bell ringer and stuff. So Dave, tell us what she's won.
Jerk (:Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Babe (:You have one more stuff.
Jerk (:I'm sorry.
Jerk (:Uh...
Bitch (:Alright, so let's get back to Garth and whatever the fuck he's doing.
Jerk (:Yeah. Yeah, because now we're at the motel and Sam and Dean arrive and Garth is doing Tai Chi on the patio while Randy is unconscious in the pot tub gagged with a bag on his head.
Bitch (:I've had that night.
Jerk (:It's not a good scene. And they explain that the shoujo is the Japanese booze monster. And so Sam's going to go research to figure out how to kill it. Japanese booze monster.
Bitch (:Also the name of that's the name of my next album Japanese booze monster
Babe (:I think that's what they called me when I worked in Japan for a year.
Bitch (:No, they called you American booze monster
Jerk (:Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Babe (:That's right, I was an honorary Japanese boost monster.
Bitch (:Outta, outta, American Booze Monster's son.
Babe (:That's right.
Jerk (:Oh my gosh, ridiculous. So yeah, it's a yeah, so they're talking about, they're like, but there's gotta be a way to fucking kill it. That's the biggest thing. And they would be seen around. They used to they were frequently seen around Japanese breweries. And they can, you know, they can be their will can be harnessed with the right spell box. So
Bitch (:Basically what he's saying is like these people these bitches like to hang around places where dudes get drunk And then if you get drunk enough you can take one you can attach to it attach it to a bottle and use it as like Your drunk amma when you just point it at people and I have known projectile vomiting women that you could do that with drunk women get them get them drunk enough and they're like but All of this isn't great
Jerk (:turn him. Gross. That's grody.
Jerk (:So they've basically like, look, the baby Dale was intentionally punishing his pals. The widow told, told them that, you know, the brewery was Dale's baby and they didn't have their own children. So the equivalent would be to take the partner's kids. So that's pretty fucked up.
Bitch (:Yeah, so like, so they had kids. He did it. So the brewery was his baby. And so like, he was like, I'm going to kill your babies.
Jerk (:Yeah. So Dale Dale's baby was the brewery. So it says he didn't have actual children. So and Randy didn't have actual children, but Jim did. And Randy was real close with Jim's kids. So just kill those kids. That's real fucked up, man. Like real fucked up. But as Shojo is killable with a samurai sword that's been consecrated with the Shinto blessing. Great.
Bitch (:This is.
Bitch (:convenient.
Jerk (:And now they need to go guard Marie because they think she's the last target standing. She's the last, you know, the last kid alive. So yeah. Garth asks, though, again, that's Sam this time, if Bobby is haunting them.
and Dean shoots this shit down. Sam is straight up. Look, I tried to contact him. I got nothing. So.
Bitch (:Yeah, he pulled out a talking board and everything. So now like Sam has got talking to dead people down flat. We don't know like when this, but now it's just a skill like he wants to talk to a dead person, he just whips out his Weegee.
Jerk (:Talking board. Yeah, he's gonna go for it. So with Randy's waking up in the fucking hot tub and this is the, like the dumbest shit. Like, I don't, like, what was fucking Garth thinking? I don't even know. I don't even know.
Bitch (:there's also a scene that was cut from here where like this entire thing continues on longer than it was but so basically Garth's got him in the Tatt-Tut and he starts grilling him and wants to know when's the last time you gave anybody three chances Mr. Axeman?
Jerk (:Yeah. And basically we figure out that he doesn't give anybody three chances, but the guy we saw him berating at the beginning of the episode, he did give three chances to. So they figure out, so they, Garth figures out that that's
Bitch (:His name is Slacker Janitor. That is just what I've named him and they don't give him a name. So that is what you call him for the rest of this episode, Slacker Janitor.
Jerk (:Slack or janitor.
Jerk (:Well, that's Randy's son that he that the that he had with his secretary, with a woman who used to be a secretary, and she doesn't want him involved in the kid's life.
Bitch (:Randy! Eww! So you fucked your secretary, you knocked her up, and then like you didn't take care of the kid and you just gave him a job in your factory as a janitor? Baxter, you may be a piece of shit!
Jerk (:Yeah, well, it said the mom made him promise not to tell the kid Bob a block. Not good.
Bitch (:No, this was no back. So you're a piece of shit
Jerk (:So now he's working at the brewery right now and nobody's keeping an eye on him. And of course they've got, you know, Sam and Dean are off worried about Marie. So good old Garth packs up his EMF reader and some bottles of miniboos and goes to the, to the brewery. Huh?
Bitch (:Two EMF readers. You've hacked up two EMF readers.
Jerk (:Well, too, yes. And goes to the brewery with the box of many bottles. I do think it's interesting. He does throw the handcuff keys into the tub with Randy and says, if you care about that kid, you're not going to call it. You don't call the cops.
Bitch (:Yeah.
Jerk (:so that he can try to go save him. But like, Randy's like hearing, what the fuck's story is? Like, this is so bizarre. Would you not call the cops if you got told this? Definitely not.
Bitch (:I don't know. Like, this one calls like also like knows all these secrets about me. And it's like the secret love child that I fathered. I probably would just stay in the hot tub and drink. So we go from that then to Garth calling Dean. Right. Is that where I get what I'm missing? Yep. Missed line.
Jerk (:Well, we've got first we've got Lee, who's the kid, the slacker janitor, and his name is Lee and he's cleaning windows being watched by the shoujo. He's the shoujo is there. So we know that he is the target. Okay. And, and we've got, and we've got good old Dean in the alley with the Japanese chef again, with a he's got, he's got a samurai sword and this poor Japanese chef.
Bitch (:Nope, his name is Slacker Janitor.
Bitch (:Ring girl.
Jerk (:is reading the Shinto blessing while they pour spring water from a bottle of water onto the sword.
Bitch (:because he needed a running stream. At least he didn't pee on it. That would have been the other option for a running stream.
Jerk (:Ugh.
Babe (:This poor Japanese guy moved to Kansas to get away from people asking him to do shit all the time and then...
Bitch (:No, they're just giving him money. He's not getting tits. Well, he's doing the throwing him cash this a whole time Also very good that he can read whatever ancient form of japanese is written on the shit
Jerk (:He gets, yeah, they're throwing him cash.
Babe (:Okay.
Jerk (:Yeah, this is when girth calls.
Jerk (:Well, I mean, Japanese is pretty, I don't know, has it changed that much? Yeah.
Bitch (:Oh Dave, you are a Japanese expert. How have the Japanese kanji changed over time?
Babe (:I don't know. Um, no, it's... Ha ha!
Bitch (:Hehehehe
Jerk (:Oh
Babe (:I was going to make something up that it's based on Chinese characters, which is partly true. And then it evolved into sort of its own and there's a little bit of overlap, but several thousand years old. I'm sure it's been through some iterations, but not too many. So in other words,
Jerk (:Yeah.
Jerk (:I'll show you.
Bitch (:Hehehe
Jerk (:Well, this is when Garth calls to tell Dean that Baxter has a secret love child and Garth is real drunk and already at the brewery.
Bitch (:Yeah, if he got drunk off of one beer, like imagine what all these mini bottles do. To be fair, DJ Quall said he did live in New Orleans at the time of this and he was like, yeah, no, I'm a very expensive drunk. I appreciate that.
Jerk (:Well, Sam's trying to just keep an eye on Marie at the bar. And nothing's really happening there. He's just having some drinks watching her and trick because he has to have drinks because he's got to be able to see the fucking monster if it shows up to get her. Back in the brewery, Garth is fucking drunk and he sees the show. Joe, he sees Lee, he tells Dean, hangs up the phone, and he's trying to get Lee out of there and says, come with me if you want to live.
Bitch (:That's why I was drinking, sure.
Jerk (:LINE
Bitch (:Nyeh...
Jerk (:And Dean's calling Sam asking if he's sober enough to fucking drive.
Bitch (:like seriously would a Winchester actually ask that or care? Y'all are pretty hammered all the time I am sure
Jerk (:Never asked that before.
Jerk (:There's a lot of drinking in this show. I mean, earlier in the episode, we I didn't cite it at the time, but Sam literally asks Dean if he's even capable of getting drunk anymore.
Bitch (:Now this is episode in the show.
Bitch (:Oh, we missed this already. Yeah. I forgot we missed that one. It was very valid. Like how much how much would it take to get between teen Winchester hammered?
Jerk (:They drink a lot.
Jerk (:A lot. So we get Sam runs outside and gets snags a cab like snakes the somebody's cab, which is not very nice, but he uses FBI badge to do it. So. Lee is not into Garth's drunk ass dragging him around the brewery at all. He's very WTF about this whole thing. So, and so Garth just tells him Baxter's your dad.
And he screwed Dale, Dale released a Japanese monster that can only be seen when you're drunk. And now it's here to kill you.
fun.
Bitch (:Yeah, I like when people tell me that while I'm trying to get through my shitty janitor job. I'm probably drunk and hot because there's no other way you're going to get out of the brewery doing this shit, right?
Jerk (:work. Yeah. So.
Jerk (:Well, at least trying to process all this information, but there's not really time to do that. Yeah, not really time to do that when there's a when there's a booze monster chasing you. So.
Bitch (:I have a dad!
Bitch (:Do you think at that moment Lee is like, what the fuck? Why am I a janitor if my motherfucking father owns this shit? And then, and then like, he just like, this whole story changes and just goes after his dad to get one or something. That is a lifetime version of the show.
Jerk (:Try processing that.
Jerk (:That'd be a very different storyline. So, well, he's like doing like, obviously, Lee's sober, so he can't see the monster, which, well.
Bitch (:Again, he's a slacker janitor, so...
Jerk (:He's not, he's not drunk. Let's put it that way. Lee is not drunk, so he cannot see the shojo, which then throws Garth through a window. So then Lee's like, oh shit, I better run. Like you do. And, and she's, you know, he gets kind of like knocked around to. Dean finally arrives. He's got the damn sword.
Bitch (:He runs into Sam first and Sam tries to help and Sam gets knocked the fuck out. And then Dean shows up with a samurai sword.
Jerk (:Yes.
Yes. And the sword gets slid away from him, but then it slides back into his hand? What? How did the sword magically slide across the floor into Dean's hand? That's weird and convenient. Hmm. Could it be something supernatural? Sorry. There we go.
Bitch (:WOOOO
Bitch (:Ehhhhhh
I wanted to play this one quick because...
Jerk (:Dude.
Bitch (:Oh god, sorry, I won't stop, I won't stop, stop! Okay, no, I shouldn't have these buttons. Okay, so...
Jerk (:But Dean's sober, so he can't see the fucking monster. So Sam has to like half ass come too so he can give Dean directions how to stab this motherfucker.
Bitch (:Oh, and he's giving him drug indirections that it reminds me of like every food television game show you've ever seen where like one of the partners is like behind a curtain and has to tell the other one how to make a recipe. That is the feeling of this moment where Sam is trying to drunkenly tell Dean what he sees.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Jerk (:Yeah. Well, he finally stabs this. They do a really, really fucking cool effect with the sword, like going through, like an invisible body. It's really neat. And then all of a sudden the show to becomes visible. It looks real mad. Then there's a big wind that blows backwards and she screams and then disappears. Finally. Finally, your hair parts. Yeah. And so they realize, okay, so Dean's okay. Lee's okay. Sam's okay. And they get Garth and.
Bitch (:Her hair, like she can see through her hair all of a sudden.
Jerk (:Garth, like, what did I miss? And Dean's a little wondering. Yeah, and Dean's like pretty like freaked about the sword flying into his hand. He literally turns around and he's asking, he's like, Bobby, are you here? Come on, do something. That's very sad because he thinks Bobby's ghost is there.
Bitch (:Yay hooray, the day is saved!
Bitch (:It's very sad because he doesn't want to believe, but he wants to believe that he doesn't know that Sam is watching him while this is happening. But nothing happens and we cut to the next day and Garth wants to know if they want to go for brunch in Bruce.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Jerk (:But they're like, nah, we're going to cruise in our mid 70s AMC pacer and get back on the road. So they Garth gives them big old hugs and compliments their ride and goes to get in his car and leave while poison is still playing. Poison. It's amazing.
Bitch (:Oh, Pacer.
Bitch (:Poison! Po-po-po-poison!
Bitch (:And Sam does admit that Garth has grown on him. And Sam wants to talk about it. And he's a what? What? What do you mean? Do what?
Jerk (:calling him out on the Bobby stuff. And Bob and Dean, Dean List, he's like, look, from between the sword, my beer, my empty beer, the page showing up on the bed, you know, his book falling open with the contact that took us to find Castiel, all of these things. And Sam has a theory, he's like, well, maybe, like normal people see these things. Ours are just a little different. It's a face in the crowd, but that's how we see it.
Bitch (:And also while this is happening, while Dean's going through that list, they're cutting to the flashbacks of all of these moments that have happened. So they go through like there's four different episodes, right? They go through eventually all of them. But I think that was just interesting. It was like, oh, wait, have you been have you been figuring this out? But then you're like, it's just grief. And like Bobby knows more about ghosts than anybody else. And he would just become instant Swayze. Right.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Jerk (:That's what they say, instant Swayze. And yeah, he would just let us know. So they decided that they are too hung over to go have brunch and brews. So.
Bitch (:Which is bullshit, like that is a perfect time for brunch and brews. There is no time better to go get some beers and some greasy food than when you're hungover. That is why brunch was made.
Jerk (:Oh no.
Jerk (:You have to leave the house. So they leave, but.
Jerk (:We cut to the room and we realized that Bobby was in the hotel room.
Bitch (:The camera pans, yeah.
Bitch (:This motherfucking ball ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a
Jerk (:And Dean goes back into the room. He had almost forgotten the flask. He grabs it and he's like, there you are. And then you hear Bobby say, I'm right here, you itch it. But Dean can't see it.
Bitch (:And then it also says balls.
Jerk (:He does. He does say balls. It goes flickers out. Yeah, that's it.
Bitch (:And then it goes flicks.
Bitch (:And then Dean dries off. And so I've known the return of Bobby in this episode was a close to garden secret that like even the cast and crew didn't really know that Jim Beiber was gonna be this episode. And he constructed this elaborate story through his Twitter page that he was filming some French finance film about the abominable snowman. And like he had pictures from the set and like all this shit in there to like fool people that he was coming back this episode, which I think is.
It's the same thing they did with Mark Shepard when he came back as Crowley. So, so Diana, who was in this episode? Do you have some casting couch? And I don't have, I was like, I don't have that sound bite set up in here. So Dave can sing it. He sings it for us anyways. So Dave, what is our casting couch?
Jerk (:I like that.
Jerk (:I do have some casting cut.
Jerk (:Take it away. You're muted. Dave's muted, so he can't be heard right now.
Bitch (:Oh my God, it's like every Zoom meeting I've ever been around.
Babe (:I was muted. Yeah, it's just like it's just like a fucking teams meeting now. Casting couch. It's the casting couch. Something something on that show with that guy. La la la.
Jerk (:Beautiful. We got the live version today. Oh, so Randy Baxter. Good Lord. I lost the actor's name, but I have it right here. So.
Bitch (:He did.
Babe (:Yes.
Bitch (:Brady Baxter was played by...
Jerk (:Randy Baxter was played by the one and only Terry David Mulligan. He you may recognize him. He's been in television going back to the 80s. Twenty one Jump Street, MacGyver, X-Files, and had small roles in films like Look Who's Talking To, Disturbing Behavior and Fantastic Four. Jim McCann, who was the other partner.
Bitch (:I just have this very disturbing flash brought to the look who's talking movies. Like, do those, like, are those on streaming?
Jerk (:probably. Jim McCann was played. Oh, Jim McCann was played by Eric keenly side. He's had been a lot of things. He's in episodes of Street Justice, X Files, Hellcats, Fargo, I Zombie. Another, we'll see him another episode of Supernatural. He was Noonan in the movie Bordello of Blood, Detective and
Bitch (:They were terrifying. Terrifying.
Jerk (:regular character named Maurice in Once Upon a Time and regular character George Dean in Superman and Lois in the more recent series. Chloe.
Bitch (:Impressive. Like, I don't know, like, I can't, I get confused about those. I think there's 17 of them. Yeah.
Jerk (:All the supermans. Yeah, too many. So Chloe is the current ish one. That's one that's going on now. Like on television now or streaming, whatever. Nothing. Well, like up until this year, I should say. So Chloe was one of our campfire girls. She was played by Sarah Dogdale and she's been in episodes of Arrow and she's a, there's a pretty, I guess, semi-popular show called Virgin River right now. She's a regular character on that, named Lizzie.
Bitch (:It was cancelled, but... I don't know.
Jerk (:Chris was one of the guys at the campsite. It was played by David Kay. He was Jesse Wainrew in 3000 Miles to Graceland and plays us a ton of voice work from Gundam to My Little Pony. Our Japanese chef was played by Casey Ryan Mazak and played, funny enough, a sushi chef in the movie This Means War.
and had small roles in the films Shogun and Midway. He's just done a ton of work, but it's a lot of shorts. So like a lot of like, like film, filmmaker films, I guess, is what I would call that, art films. And then Tess McCann, our young girl that saw the monster and drink the grownup drink was played by Megan Charpentier, I don't know if she's Canadian.
She was played Greta in the film It. She played Victoria in the film Mama that came out further recently, and then was the Red Queen in Resident Evil. And most importantly, Mr. Fizzles was played by himself.
Bitch (:Wait, wait, wait
Jerk (:No. Sorry. No, she seems to be doing fine, sorry. She seems to be doing okay.
Babe (:She pulled through.
Bitch (:Okay, I'm sorry. And finally, your last casting note.
Jerk (:as Mr. Fizzles was played by himself.
Bitch (:So babe, what'd you think of this episode?
Babe (:It's the best one I've seen so far. I know it's a good story. It was an interesting story. It makes me want to watch it now actually, because I, I obviously I don't watch every episode and
Jerk (:Damn.
Bitch (:Yeah?
Bitch (:Oh, shh, shh. Babe watches every episode and he loves it.
Babe (:Every minute of it. Well, I can't watch it with Diana because she pauses it every four seconds. So it takes like two and a half hours to get through an episode and I'm too antsy to do that. That's right. That's a cool story. I like the Japanese lore that was brought into it too. That was pretty interesting.
Bitch (:She has a job to do.
Jerk (:taking notes, man. But yeah.
Bitch (:So Diana, what did you think about our ring showjo's, our girl?
Jerk (:Well, she was scary. I didn't like her, but I like the story. It was a good story. It was a fun one. Despite the plot holes, like it was real weird, like who the fuck is Tess really? Like who is she fucking related to? And who is this poor blonde lady that got murdered that fed alcohol to Tess? Like, I don't really understand that. And that was a little annoying. Like, is this a niece? Is this a daughter? Is this a granddaughter? Like, I don't fucking know.
Bitch (:Yeah.
Yeah, I really, yeah, I wish we'd had more time.
Bitch (:Yeah. And I feel like we once again kind of got that Hallmark crossover where we had this small town is being taken over and being sold to a big corporation. But this time instead of like, I think maybe in the Hallmark version of this, the daughter like ends up marrying that dude that like was like, or they end up getting like together and they save the brewery or something. I think that's the Hallmark Chriswick movies that follows this.
Babe (:So some guy in a flannel shirt shows up and saves the day.
Bitch (:Yeah, yeah, but she has devoted too much of her life to the career of saving this brewery, and then Slack or Janitor and her get together and they save it. And it's very successful and makes all of the money it would have made if they just sold it to Budweiser.
Jerk (:married and save it and make it a down home family brewery.
Jerk (:Sure, sure it does.
Bitch (:America! Oh, we're... Oh, anyways... Any other thoughts on this episode? I think it was a fun episode.
Jerk (:Hey, you never know.
Jerk (:It was. I agree. Oh, great. And I appreciated our story time with sound effects.
Bitch (:and Diana, I hope you enjoy all your lovely stuff that you shall be parting with.
Jerk (:All my stuff I won.
I'm sorry.
Bitch (:This episode is brought to you by...
Bitch (:All right. So with that cheers jerk.
Jerk (:Cheers, bitch. I got confused, there's too many people on here.
Babe (:Cheers, jerk and bitch.
Bitch (:I don't know, it's all chaos. How's it wrong to live together as eight or K-pop?
Jerk (:Bye!
Babe (:It's anarchy.
Jerk (:Ah
Bitch (:Ugh.
