8:04 Bitten

Jerk (: 00:01

Welcome to this week's episode of Devil's Trap Podcast. I'm Diana.

And this week we're going to talk season eight, episode four, Bitten.

Bitch (: 00:13

I almost, I feel like I have a huge hair ball and just want to like start hacking immediately. Like, just do a very sexy sound, like right into this microphone that's not here. Cause I still haven't set up a good sound system at this house. Cause I just can't, I just can't anymore. Diana it's 2024 and I'm done. I'm over it. I'm over, over 2024 and everything that won't stop breaking. I did find out that.

Jerk (: 00:19

Thanks.

Jerk (: 00:34

Yeah.

Jerk (: 00:40

Damn.

Bitch (: 00:42

Within so for those of you that don't know I have started a one of my long Genealogical projects has gotten a boost because I enlisted a fiver to help me I don't even know if I've talked about this in here or not, but I enlisted a fiver person to help me with some research bump I had with my genealogy and if you look at ancestry it says like $3 ,000, but if you go on fiverr

Jerk (: 00:57

I don't think so.

Bitch (: 01:13

It's not, and I don't know how much you're supposed to pay them. And I feel bad if I make, but she did, what was a good job. And at least I think so. I don't know. I got you get what you pay for. And I think it was a good job and basically have traced one part of the lineage to a part of Scotland.

Jerk (: 01:14

Heheheheh

Bitch (: 01:41

And in this Scotland, this part of Scotland, there are a bunch of standing stones that are supposed to have been a long part of ceremonies through, you know, hopefully my pig, I wouldn't be surprised if my pagan ancestors are out there like doing things, but I do partially blame, you know, all, I'm not saying like all the death and all the shit like is because of the fact that.

Me and my friends thought it'd be really funny to jump in a circle of evil in Scotland and dance around and go, ha ha ha, we're dancing in a circle of evil. I did that. So I think I may have found the, the, the counter part of it, hopefully. So I think, I think that's going to, it's goal. We're going to have to get to this part of Scotland. So I can maybe dance around in another circle and then go, I'm dancing in a circle of evil. Ha ha ha.

Jerk (: 02:18

Oh yeah, you did that, didn't you?

Jerk (: 02:26

Okay.

Bitch (: 02:37

which I think is how it works, you just say it twice.

Jerk (: 02:40

That's what you say. You can do it again. Twice is a weird number. Isn't it always like three or seven?

Bitch (: 02:44

Or three times is like, you know, a, somebody this weekend said that was a number. I don't, I think they made that up, but that, that was, well, it's not, it is a number. It is a magic number according to Day Last Soul. So what did you do this weekend? So there we go.

Jerk (: 02:50

It's at its number.

Jerk (: 02:59

I mean, it is.

Jerk (: 03:03

Speaking of this weekend, speaking of this weekend, I came down and visited Liz and we went to Shirts, Texas for the Lone Star Paracon hosted by the Kling brothers and Everyday Paranormal.

Bitch (: 03:22

Is it cling or is it clinga? Is it cling? I feel bad if we have to say that wrong. I don't know. They're big dudes and they've got a paranormal share.

Jerk (: 03:26

K -L -I -N -G -E.

Well, they are. They do. And then, but now we got to see some speakers. There was some good vendors. We. Yeah, that's good. What do you think you have to say about it? Put you on the spot. What are you going say? Yeah. Well, here I'll go, I'll go for it. So we got to see the speakers that we saw off the bat were Lyle Blackburn, who is someone I know.

Bitch (: 03:43

I love your segue there. I'm put you on the spot here. So what do you have to say? I'm gonna edit all this shit out if this ever goes anywhere.

Bitch (: 03:58

You said bat. Sorry.

Jerk (: 04:00

He's a crypto zoologist and someone I know he's also known as lead singer of the band cool town and has written several books wrote about he was there talking about Texas cryptids. He gave a I thought a really great presentation like a crash course in Texas cryptids in history. So it's neat because he was like, you know, you talk about the different like what's the difference between a monster and a cryptid. Okay, here's the ones in Texas and went through the different types. You know, we've got our

our version of like a, you know, a Sasquatch and not, but a Bigfoot.

Bitch (: 04:33

How come you remember Lyle's lore and you never remember my lore? Sure, sure, sure. But, okay.

Jerk (: 04:37

I remember your lore.

I do. And then, but so, but either way, but they went through the different stories and sightings throughout the state. And I thought that was really neat, including telling, being upfront about when something was not real. Like, yeah, this, they thought it was a chupacabra. Well, this is a coyote with mange. Like things, I thought that was a nice touch at an event like this. We had Aaron Sagers and Seth. Seth.

And they were talking about the show 28 Days Haunted on Netflix, which I have not yet watched, but I'm tempted to watch now. They talked a lot about ghosts. And then the question started, Liz. And what did they what did they end up talking about the question segment?

Bitch (: 05:22

I think they talked about berries.

Jerk (: 05:24

They talked about believing in fairies, not them. They were talking about just in generally discussing the belief in fairies. And there's people in the audience that felt very strongly about this.

Bitch (: 05:26

and

Bitch (: 05:30

Yeah, I think, and to be fair, that was during a specific talk. I don't remember whose talk that was during. Was it during Wiles?

Jerk (: 05:40

No, this was during the Q &A when they were asking Aaron and Seth what was something that was often believed in the paranormal world that they had not fully signed on with. And Aaron's was about Annabelle and Shane's was about fairies.

Bitch (: 05:55

Oh, right, right, right. I swear I paid attention. So yeah, I do remember that because I was really, really hungry. And I think at that point I was just no shade to anybody. Your talks are great. I was just scrolling through my phone looking for what restaurant, what German restaurant was closest because that was really the highlight of Paracon was when we left and went and got some German food. We went up to

Jerk (: 06:00

We were about to go eat lunch at this point too, we were hungry.

Bitch (: 06:23

Was it Krause's? Is that the name of it?

Jerk (: 06:25

Krause Cafe in New Bronze Falls.

Bitch (: 06:27

Kraus Cafe in New Braunfels and we got a beer pretzel and it came with beer cheese and then we also got the sausage sampler and it had some little mini pieces of sausage and some of them had cheese in it and our poor waitresses just kept having the worst day like like shit just kept like every time somebody would walk by us like they would fucking drop shit and then we also got we did get some delicious beer there so so the beer like I got this like amazing leg.

Jerk (: 06:48

It's true.

I did.

Bitch (: 06:57

dark chocolate beer. It wasn't chocolate beer. It was just like a dark stout. It was really good. And then you got like a lager. And that looked delicious. And so and also, I think the paracon was just beyond the the speakers who were who were great. Like you're like you said, like Lyle's talk, I really highly enjoyed the slides were great. I thought that the aerodincess I thought there was a great the moderator.

Jerk (: 07:03

Yeah. Yeah. It was good.

Jerk (: 07:24

Their story, they were great. They were great storytelling. And then the moderate, the host of the day, Gary, was really good. Yeah.

Bitch (: 07:27

They were gonna story to like the moderator. You were weird as shit. I don't understand what the fuck that celebrity panel was like it's they basically for the celebrity panel had a bunch of people standing up in front of this the stage and then people were asking them cue doing Q &A with them the panels. I don't know. I'm just used to people sitting down. It was just weird, but they were still it was an odd format. I would have done the

Jerk (: 07:50

It was an odd format for a panel. And I'm not thinking, oh, go ahead, sorry.

Bitch (: 07:56

I'm just saying I would have done that differently. Go on.

Jerk (: 07:58

Yeah, yeah, this and my I feel like the the talk by the skinwalker ranch guys was specifically catering to people that were super fans of the show already. And if you were not, it was not as as as a.

Bitch (: 08:11

Well, yeah. And, and that's fine. And I think that's also kind of what you get when you have a conference that does, is not large enough to have breakout panels. So if there was a bigger, I'm not saying like, Hey, like if there was a bigger conference, so you can have like, I'm going to have my, this is my paranormal TV track. And this is, I guess Ken Walker Ranch would still fall underneath that or, but like,

Jerk (: 08:37

I don't...

Bitch (: 08:37

This is my alien track. This is my move. My move on people could go over here and then you can have your ghost track and then your ghost and your investigative people go over here. But like this weekend I've got the Texas spirit gathering and that's all like occult historical shit, which I'm, you know, that is, I'm just going to fan that. I'm going to, there's like some of like the best professors like in the occult, like world, like Joseph, like Hawkins good. Like,

Huh, like there's so many like I'm gonna nerd out on so much occult shit this weekend, which is it was like no shade on the paragon. Like they it was great. It was just.

Jerk (: 09:13

Well, and it benefited it was benefiting a charity. So it's benefiting the Special Olympics of shirts. So that was cool. And and it was cute. It looked like a cute community event because the vendor area was free all day to anybody like public could just roll in. It was just an interesting. It was just a fun, very small thing.

Bitch (: 09:18

Yeah.

Bitch (: 09:22

But it's a thing that like...

But it's not just a local thing. Like, and that's what's like, now I'm just fascinated by this whole idea of these paracons because the paracons like are all apparently all over the country. And there's one up in May that is like an hour from my boss's house. And so also just for just this, I quit my job today, guys. It's pretty, like by the time this pops out, like, you know.

Jerk (: 09:39

Mm -hmm.

Jerk (: 09:45

Oh yeah.

Bitch (: 09:51

People like this is how one of my family actually listens to my podcast. Like I put in notice that we're today. It's not official by the time this comes out, probably still won't be, but I really don't think my, my, I don't know. Like HR call me. What the fuck? I don't know. But anyways, um, I know HR doesn't listen to my podcast, so we've got time. Anyway, buffer build in. Uh, so.

Jerk (: 10:11

Buffer built in.

Bitch (: 10:18

Anyways, these, this, so my boss have already is like, Oh, he's going to go. He's like, I'm very sad that you're leaving because who's going to tell me about this stuff. And I'm like, you know, I'm excited just to learn that this community exists out there and there. This has been, it's a diverse community and I'm glad that I have found it like over the past, like the past year. It's a, it's a very fun thing to know exists, but yeah. So they travel around like, so no matter where you're at.

Jerk (: 10:26

Right?

Jerk (: 10:32

No, it was a diverse community. It was cool.

Bitch (: 10:47

There is probably a paracon near you. Maybe not that listener in Zimbabwe. Sorry, but maybe, hey, whoever you are, it's your time to start your own paracon. And you too can get somebody who was on the travel channel to come and speak to you. And it will be highly enjoyable. And you will get to meet all the wonderful vendors. So this is what I think also was the most amazing thing is that we met a naughty nerd who...

Jerk (: 10:49

nearby.

Jerk (: 10:59

Yeah.

Bitch (: 11:16

Who's like I think should be a what it like not you should she should be a household name and but I think she should also be a Oh god damn it a life coach because she spends her life like crafting weird fucking dolls and They are amazing and she seems delighted like she seemed like a delightful woman and was very happy and like this weekend is she's gonna be at Alamo hero con like

Jerk (: 11:20

household name. No, just kidding. That's teasing.

Jerk (: 11:30

Oh yeah.

Jerk (: 11:38

Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch (: 11:46

with her crocheted lightsabers.

Jerk (: 11:49

To be clear, it's naughty, like, Titan or not? Like, K -N -O -T -E. Yeah, yeah. Naughty nerd. Yeah.

Bitch (: 11:52

KNO TTY nerd. I believe that is her name on there. Yeah. But which also is an entendre and hilarious. Because it's like naughty. Yeah, but yeah, anyway, so it's always an eye opening experience. Go out, support your local cons and. Yeah, I enjoy a small con. I think, you know, they are a good way to pass your time.

Jerk (: 12:02

Mm -hmm, even better. Mm -hmm, I like it.

Jerk (: 12:14

Yeah, we had a good time.

Bitch (: 12:22

and a good way to support your local arts in your communities and your local nerds. Support your local nerds. That'll be our theme for today. So.

Jerk (: 12:29

Report your local nerds. Well, and then we and then we did get to go run around in San Antonio a little bit and still go to bed early.

Bitch (: 12:37

We so went to bed early. Oh, we went to add a girl and their fried chicken. Holy shit. Like it was so good. Like it was the most banging fried chicken. I, I, I needed that. My soul, like I'm still thinking about that. Like food just doesn't taste as good. Cause I had that fried chicken.

Jerk (: 12:57

That fried chicken was so good. So Cullum's Attagirl. Yeah, excellent. But yeah, well, I think we've put off talking about this episode.

Bitch (: 13:06

fucking episode. All right. So this first aired October 24th, 2012. So I get the timeliness of this, but it was directed by Thomas J. Wright. The last we saw him was in season seven, episode 15, he directed Rupo Man. Man want to say man, but it's not. It's man. And it was written by Robbie Thompson, who we last saw Wright.

Jerk (: 13:16

them.

Bitch (: 13:35

Season seven, episode 20, the girl with the Dungeons and Dragons tattoo. Heart heart Felicia Day. So this starts off with a bloody montage, which you wouldn't think would be bad. I'm like, okay, I like, this is a, a loss of, it's a gore scene. I'm a cool, I'm in this. Pitter patter, blood splatter, and Sam and Dean are investigating. All right, cool, cool.

Jerk (: 13:41

Okay. Yeah.

Jerk (: 13:47

Oh yeah.

Jerk (: 13:54

Pitter -patter, blood splatter, let's go.

Jerk (: 14:01

And the song What's the Matter by Milo Green is blaring. And they got so they've got guns drawn. This and guess what? It's not the first time in this episode that you're going to hear the song.

Bitch (: 14:05

It sure is.

Bitch (: 14:15

Nope, no it isn't.

Jerk (: 14:18

Uh, and there's a body on the floor. There's blood everywhere. They like their stay, do like a scout house. And then then they magically notice a laptop with a sticky note that says, play me.

Bitch (: 14:32

Yep. And a title blips across the screen and it says, it never should have ended that way. Uh, no. Is an entire flashback episode done from a found footage point of view? Somebody fucking stabbing in the eye. No, no, no.

Jerk (: 14:50

Well, to be clear, is it worse that it's not actually found footage, but that she actually I'll give I'm going to spoil her. Well, I guess it's technically found footage. You're right. The video.

Bitch (: 14:56

It's still found footage. Like the whole, the whole perspective, the whole perspective of the way that this is shot, even though it's not right. Cause then we started off, it's not, it's not found footage because it's a movie that she made. However, the still perspective is also just here's our shitty cameras.

Jerk (: 15:05

because it's edited intentionally like this.

Bitch (: 15:17

And I get it. If there's a lot of you did a very good job. You did a very good job of making that type of, of John.

Jerk (: 15:21

They did a very good job.

Jerk (: 15:28

Sure. Sure.

Bitch (: 15:30

Okay, now my screen did not give me a thumbs up. Guys, I just did the thumbs up and I like, I'm sure many of you know that I don't know if it's an Apple thing, but like the thumbs. I don't know, but my, I don't know, whatever. So thumbs up the thumbs, thumbs in my eye, because this is a found footage episode.

Jerk (: 15:39

I think it's a Riverside thing.

Jerk (: 15:49

Oh, well, we start out our movie begins at some kind of a cafe. It's like a looks like a coffee cafe with a bunch of college kids in it. And there's two guys that are joking about being the AV nerds. We've got the cliche, better looking kind of buff guy who is Michael and the kind of awkward dude, but the one that like likes to film everything. Ryan and they.

Bitch (: 16:14

Yeah, I forgot their names for most of this beginning. So I just called them hot guy and less hot guy. And because the other guy's not ugly, he's still in he's still in Hollywood ugly, right? And so I'm just like less hot. Whatever trope. So we got that trope.

Jerk (: 16:26

Right. Yeah.

And then we've got them from a distance filming a table of girls and like giving them all their little stereotypes.

Bitch (: 16:39

Yeah, basically, you know, giving them a one line that reads their sexual desirability to them. Cool, cool, cool.

Jerk (: 16:45

And that but and then but one is less annoyed and she just walks up filming them herself and she's asked about their camp. That's the good looking one, Michael, about hit their camera and they start flirting. So there we go. So apparently she's going home and now Michael and we find her name to be Kate or a thing. And yeah, so.

Bitch (: 17:10

So and we're never quite sure how quickly this at least it's never made like she may have just brought a movie. It's not obvious like whether or not this was a night that she became just moved in. I am now living in your house and we are a couple or this was a progression of time that was edited for this film. That is unclear.

Jerk (: 17:14

No.

Jerk (: 17:27

Moved in. Yeah.

Jerk (: 17:33

of several months or though she it implies that it's the same day because when she leaves the bedroom giggling to go to the bathroom, she's wearing the same shirt that Michael was wearing that day with me at the cafe. But it also doesn't mean like he could wear that shirt again. He wears it later in the episode. So it doesn't mean anything. He just like that shirt.

Bitch (: 17:52

I don't know. So either they're moved very fast, but they're also college kids, whatever. Less Hot Dude is editing the video and it's, this is also a time thing gets more confusing. Less Hot Dude is filming the girl chat. And then I, and then I just put, I don't even have, know how to write notes about this piece of shit. Sorry, it's not a piece of shit. Just got very frustrated with it.

Jerk (: 17:57

Yes.

Jerk (: 18:11

Yeah.

Jerk (: 18:17

Damn. Woo. It's very hard to write notes on this episode. I will agree with you on that. So they're sitting on the house, the three of them talking about their five year plans. And basically, like, it's, you know, it's actually a throwaway scene. Like, she wants to be an environmental lawyer. The Brian wants to work for HBO or Michael Moore and Michael.

Bitch (: 18:41

But it's not a throwaway scene, it's because it's gonna, they're gonna, they're gonna rip back to it in the end. So they're doing this establishing thing up in the front where they're talking about this is what these, this is the trope of what these kids are gonna be when they grow up. But you know, that's gonna get ripped away from them, but this is when they're, they're still hopeful about their life. Let's show them.

Jerk (: 18:46

I get, yeah.

Jerk (: 18:57

I guess.

Jerk (: 19:03

Well, Michael wants to be on a boat in the middle of the ocean with his girl by his side. Aww.

Bitch (: 19:09

But he did read Weekly World News and there was a Bigfoot picture in there. So hey, Bigfoot.

Jerk (: 19:17

So they're in class and it's.

Bitch (: 19:19

Oh, and before that, they also established that less hot guy is perturbed by hot boy and blonde girl kissing.

Jerk (: 19:26

Yeah, it's he gets annoyed by it. So they're in class. For her, they're starting to hint at that he's either jealous about just being single or he's got a thing for her is what's kind of being hinted around here. Not helpful.

Bitch (: 19:29

so clearly he has a thing. Mm -hmm.

Bitch (: 19:38

Either way, it's not healthy. It's all starting to get super gross.

Jerk (: 19:44

Yeah, it gets gross real fast. This is early still. But they have they go to a lecture and their professors, they're talking about Lord of the Flies. And that kind of becomes a recurring thing. And they're filming.

Bitch (: 19:51

See also gross. And yeah, so like maybe it's also because I hate Lord of the Flies. I do like so it's like that being part of this underlying thematic narrative is this Lord of the Flies reference. I fucking hate that book because it's to me it's one of those things that is used often as an excuse for men being fucking assholes.

Jerk (: 19:59

Oh, that's part of it.

Bitch (: 20:16

This is just what happens when you put men together on an island. They just all they go together and self -destruct because they can't help it. It's just in their genes. Sorry. That's what Laura the fly is represents. Also the piggy stuff. Like why is the head of the pig picture there? Like that was unnecessary.

Jerk (: 20:36

Well, Brian's filming the lecture because Michael's going to sleep through it.

Bitch (: 20:41

Hot Boy Somehow To Take Notes.

Jerk (: 20:44

Apparently. And we get a scene where after class, I don't know. Yeah. So you get a scene outside where Scotty, the douchebag, knocks Brian down and Michael tries to protect Brian like bows up. So we've now established also there's a rivalry between douchebag Scotty and Brian and Michael. Yeah. So as they're walking back to their house, I guess.

Bitch (: 20:47

He don't! Less hot points, sick notes for him!

Jerk (: 21:11

All three of them, they hear sirens and they're like, well, we should start shooting. We don't know what this is. And so they start shooting and we actually get, it's kind of, this is, I thought it was very clever. It's a whole scene behind this building that they are shooting where a body has been discovered. There's a bloody sheet over it. There's police and like barricades and what pulls up, baby. And Sam and Dean get out and apparently someone got murdered and they're, uh,

I think it's Brian that makes the joke about Starsky and Hutch and I'm like these kids are too young to know what the fuck that is, but whatever. And.

Bitch (: 21:45

The other one made the joke about resilient aisles. You also said someone got murdered, which is twice as now that song getting stuck in my head. I do think it was a missed opportunity when Sam and Dean rolled up. They could have been bad boys playing. I think that would have been much nicer, but that's just me. But yeah, so they kind of run through this crap. So the victim was attacked. They heard a growl.

Jerk (: 22:01

So good. Yes. Yeah, I agree.

Bitch (: 22:12

Then we go to the apartment where they continue to fill these people are fucking annoying. I think also fuck you. Like, could you imagine like being like their neighbor? Oh my God, like put down the fucking camera and take the trash out. Like these are just like the.

Jerk (: 22:23

Ugh.

Jerk (: 22:28

This place is so dirty too. I'm sorry. It's not like cluttered. Their house is dirty. Dirty.

Bitch (: 22:33

You're dirt - you dirty college - fucking filthy college student. So put down your camera and take out the pizza box.

Jerk (: 22:38

UGH

Wait till we get to the kitchen scene. Anyways, poor, it's distressing. Anyways, so they're whatever. The only thing that was the thing I would want to note that they had before. Oh, sorry. They it was I missed my spot. So Michael and Brian go out to shoot more scenes for his future movie, and they accidentally stumble across Sam and Dean discussing if there's even a case in this town.

Just kind of interesting, but you hear the guys make a joke about if there's a workplace romance vibe between Sam and Dean. And I thought you had.

Bitch (: 23:18

Yes, and that becomes a running joke in this episode and I do appreciate the the slash fiction, uh, poking play it. See, it's Diane is finally getting on board with the slash fiction. We'll get it there. All right. So these like creepy ass fucking kids are like filming people making out by bleachers. And during that, like, I know I'm skipping stuff. I just don't care.

Jerk (: 23:25

I know you do, that's why. Yeah. No. No.

Jerk (: 23:43

No, do it.

Bitch (: 23:44

So like they're being gross and filming people like out by the bleachers and There's a dude who gets super aggressive on a girl and then like they then we get a chase scene

Jerk (: 23:57

Yeah. Yeah. She defends herself and then he's mad that he got filmed. So he starts chasing them. So they get separated and Michael goes one way and Brian goes the other. And then we get something sneaking up behind Michael, but it's Scott, douchebag Scott chasing them. But like that we get a scenery drops his camera. There's wrestling and grumbling. And then the camera gets, you know, lifted away, a lift camera tilts and then.

Bitch (: 23:58

Okay?

Jerk (: 24:26

He gets like lifted away yelling and we get like a spurt of liquid across the screen. I don't know what else to call it.

Bitch (: 24:34

You know, yeah, but they also luckily have night vision and all those films. So that's good for them. Like they've got some some really nice cameras there, which was you have this whole thing started was just her wanting to fuck someone for their camera. Well, so, OK, I don't even know where we're at. And so. Yeah, OK.

Jerk (: 24:38

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

So yeah.

Jerk (: 24:53

Brian finds him in the Brian finds him in the woods and is shocked. He's alive. I am too, cause this is supernatural. And, uh, he's got some bloody ass bite on his shoulder. So they go back to the house and they're like, Oh my God, something bit Michael. There's blood and he's real sweaty too. And then the bites like gone, like healed up already. So she, yeah.

Bitch (: 25:16

Yeah. And yeah, so then like we go through that and then we go to the doctor. So they're like, OK, I guess we're going to go to a doctor for this. That makes sense. Right. And the doctor says that Michael is going to be fine. But Kate is just like, I don't know what I would do if anything happened to them. I'm like, you met him Tuesday.

Jerk (: 25:38

No, you're right. But we also during this, we see a lot of Kate and Brian sitting very closely and talking very closely and making plans for things while Michael's asleep. So this is our first little hint.

Bitch (: 25:50

I hate them as a couple. I just hate them as human beings. All of them, all of them are just not okay. Like this is just a toxic house. This is a toxic college house.

Jerk (: 25:54

Which one? Okay.

Jerk (: 26:04

It is. Well, now we discover accidentally that Michael's got super strength. So there we go. Yeah, that's and that's why the FBI is looking for him or something. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Well.

Bitch (: 26:09

He's super strong. Maybe he got bit by an alien. Maybe he's a mutant.

Bitch (: 26:18

because of the X files.

Bitch (: 26:23

So now, so now Brian decides that he's just going to mount cameras into their house and make it, which is less. Is that less annoying? But I would say less annoying than the hand cameras, but they don't stop in the hand cameras either. Right. So I'd be like, if I was his roommate, I'd be like, fine, we can mount them, but you're going to stop following me around with the shit in my face.

Jerk (: 26:45

Oh, they're all doing it to each other. They like it. It's bizarre. But whatever. They're all. Are they like voyeurs and exhibitionists simultaneously? I don't know.

Bitch (: 26:56

They're assholes is what there are. So, so this is going to be Michael's origin story. And that is going to be the movie. The movie is, my name is Michael and I am a X, but I don't know what I am yet.

Jerk (: 26:59

Well...

Jerk (: 27:09

superhero. Well, we had to see in a very, very, very dirty kitchen. And I'm not just saying it's dated and like worn out, which it is. And that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. But it's dingy. Like you could take a bleached rag and wipe off that fucking door. I'm just saying. Anyways.

But we get the scene where now Brian is begging Michael to buy him or to take him out to the woods so he can get bitten or to bite him because he wants to be like Michael, strong and liked, not a little piggy.

Bitch (: 27:47

He doesn't want to be piggy anymore. You're pathetic, Brian. You fucking insult. Like it's just, you're just sad, Brian. Like I have no sympathy for you as a kid. I think it also like the piggy character. Like I just don't give a shit. Stop being piggy. You don't want to be piggy. Stop being a fucking piggy. Anyways. So we want, he whines about that. And we cut to Kate and Michael on the couch while.

Jerk (: 27:47

So now it's sad.

But it's not like sad, sad. Yeah.

Bitch (: 28:16

And Piggy is, then I just started calling him Piggy because I was mad at him. Cause he didn't want to be Piggy. I know, I was like, you don't want to be Piggy? So I'm calling Piggy from now on.

Jerk (: 28:20

Well Sam and Dean are there, so it's fine.

Jerk (: 28:26

Oh, when they do have to frantically hide their bong, which is kind of funny, but any very college cliche, though.

Bitch (: 28:31

Yeah, I remember it like there was some actual true crime where there was a murder suspect and the cop was like, why did you hide your weed before you called 911? Or before you call the cops or like let us in something like that. He was like, I don't know, I just did it. I feel like that's just the habit, right? Like before like there's the cops you hide the bomb. So anyways.

Jerk (: 28:56

Well, either way, they are asking questions about asking Brian questions about the murder and if they're victim to a victim. And then Sam just asked if he knows about anyone in the neighborhood getting bit. OK, well. Right, yeah.

Bitch (: 29:08

You know, everybody just going around. And I also have any, this is where my, I very much call out that Sam wants to be humor. It would be taken seriously, but how can you when your hair looks so dumb? Your hair, this is, and I sent Diana the picture exactly where I found Sam's hair looked the stupidest in this episode. So that is in your, that is in your email waiting for you.

Jerk (: 29:27

Oh.

Jerk (: 29:32

Noted. I saw it in my inbox. I haven't looked at it yet. I saw I was there waiting for me. So anyway, so they leave. But while they're on the bus, they're on the patio. They're discussing the case. And Sam references like, oh, I can't breathe or another mind God or something like that. But he references references mind God and they fucking Kate catches this on film. So now Michael thinks he's a fucking God.

Bitch (: 29:59

Sure. Sure.

Jerk (: 30:02

So now it's the middle of the night and Michael's going to go take a piss like you do. And he looks in the mirror, tells himself that he's a God while he's filming himself in the bathroom mirror. And then his pupils go all crazy big and he grows fangs and then there's a lot of snapping and crackling. And now he's got claws and smashes the mirror and goes and caresses Kate's face with his creepy claws. And then.

Then he gets dressed and eats all the leftovers in the kitchen, but that's way more food than they would have had. So I don't even know.

Bitch (: 30:31

Hey.

Bitch (: 30:35

Yeah, he gets a snack attack because you know punching the mirror makes you hungry. But he also with that whole mirror scene like he was like filming himself and then somehow he was zooming the focus in on his own eye. But then he was filming in the game. I really want to I want this broken down. I may need to go back and break this down again. Like and I need to wonder if there's directors head of this on the DVD. I don't think there is. This is something I don't want to. I just watch this part again. But.

Jerk (: 30:59

I mean, you have to watch it again.

Bitch (: 31:05

There is this is a season where they stopped having the supernatural companion and I really miss it I know this episode this information exists out there but nobody co -related it for me and I don't want to look for it myself and So if you know why or how this this film was seen? Seen this film was this scene was filmed. Let me know slide into my DMS. Anyways, so okay, so he's caressed his girlfriend he is eating all the food because he got the munchies and

Jerk (: 31:21

shot.

Jerk (: 31:33

Now he's going to go buy more food because there's not enough food.

Bitch (: 31:34

Also like his nails like that was just like you could see the tape right like you can see the tape on the bottom of that that nail right Yeah, anyways, so I just they really bothered me and then so then we cut to Scotty P and the Oak Hill crew

Jerk (: 31:42

I missed it. I missed it.

Jerk (: 31:51

Yeah, they're going to go find whatever monsters, whatever biting people in the woods. So.

Bitch (: 31:57

No, no, no, they are patrolling the streets for all the fine honeys

Jerk (: 32:04

They are. For all the fine honeys.

Bitch (: 32:08

You got to thank God that Oak Hill crew is out there pretending all those fine. Fuck you Oak Hill crew. Anyways, so then we have writing, panting, take your beating like a man.

Jerk (: 32:18

Yeah, because well, because Michael walks by, he drops his food, he gets chased by Scotty because Scotty's still mad. And then, yeah, and.

Bitch (: 32:27

I think Scotty threatens to rape Kate. Like, it's just all very toxic masculinity, grossness, and bleh. And then, like, they run around, then Michael attacks him.

Jerk (: 32:30

Yeah, he does. It's all bad.

Jerk (: 32:39

Yeah. So back on the next day, now it's daytime. And apparently Kate and Brian are not concerned that Michael's not home at all. So but they're discussing if that if Kate is afraid of him. And now she's like, at first I was, but now it's pretty hot. But then we cut to him standing there covered in blood. And.

Bitch (: 32:58

He's got fruit to punch him out. Is it still hot, Kate? You still want to make out with him?

Jerk (: 33:06

Well, she's screaming, so I'm going to bet no. And so in the shower, she's very upfront. Like, yeah, I saw Scott. He chased me and I killed him. And she's like, she's this is very in this. This is where like the most annoying. Like, it's kind of OK up until about now. And then it gets cut. This is where I feel I feel like it gets extra annoying. Whereas there's this whole divide where now like, well, now they know something's like potentially bad with Michael and Kate.

in her protectiveness wants to stop filming everything. Brian wants to film more because it's more interesting and he has his own reasons. He thinks that, well, that there's a variety of reasons, I think. But anyway, so she starts telling Brian to turn the camera off and he's like, nah, nope, nope, nope. So there we go.

Bitch (: 33:41

and he's a psychopath.

Bitch (: 33:51

And she's just like, he's confessing to murder. I think we should maybe not have this on camera.

Jerk (: 33:56

turn the camera off.

Jerk (: 34:00

Yes, she would be correct. So they go back to the crime scene with their cameras and Sam and Dean are there. And yes, Scott's dead, shredded by an animal with his heart ripped out and his heart's mostly eaten, found down the road. Huh?

Bitch (: 34:03

same. Yeah.

Bitch (: 34:15

Dean wants to see the heart.

Jerk (: 34:17

Yeah, he does. So back at the house, Brian asks Michael if he ate the heart and Michael's like, Oh, no, no, no. And Kate's like, trying to build up some story about self -defense. I think that's. Interesting of her. But anyways, we just get like Brian watching like her like in Michael, like cuddling and crying. It's a lot. So.

And Brian's like, I want to call the police. And Kate's like, no, you've never been in love.

Bitch (: 34:57

Well, Michael's also thrown Brian across the room and right across like. Yeah, he did. He is like, so that's at least how my notes are odors.

Jerk (: 34:57

Told you it gets more annoying.

I had, not yet.

Oh yeah, he did. You're right. You're right. No, he did. He did. Yeah.

Bitch (: 35:08

Yeah, so Michael thrown Brian across the room and then he cried because then I went, haha, there's a coven poster because there was a coven poster on the wall. And every time there's a reference to that movie, that's fucking that's a meta fucking nerd joke. All right. So then Brian wants to call the police. Then Kate starts going, oh, you've never been in love, but Kate, he loves you. That's.

Jerk (: 35:31

He's in love with you!

Bitch (: 35:33

And he only says it with his eyes. He says it with his eyes, Kate. And you just, you can't see. He is, he's, he is a little bitch. So, so we go from there to the police station.

Jerk (: 35:38

because he's a bitch. Because he's a bitch. Anyways. Anyways. Well, because Kate's going to try to spy on the corner now. I don't know. And she.

Bitch (: 35:53

I think she decided there, I think they're after Sam and Dean. I think that's like, they're just like, we're going to go after these FBI guys. I think that's their.

Jerk (: 36:00

Well, they are able to eavesdrop where Dean is talking to corner about this creature and she's like, she's like.

Bitch (: 36:07

What kind of camera do you have, girl? Like, that's a feature I don't know about, and I would be very interested in learning.

Jerk (: 36:11

that the audio is pretty impressive.

Jerk (: 36:18

Well, she's in the corners talking about the curvature of the claws and there's no animals bigger than raccoons here, which is weird. And so.

Bitch (: 36:26

Well, because also raccoon are one of the only other animals that we can with their fingers can go do do do do do with their forefins So like I don't think their claws would do that to you

Jerk (: 36:30

Little fingers, little fingers.

Jerk (: 36:36

Murder Raccoons!

Bitch (: 36:39

Also the name of my next band.

Jerk (: 36:43

Yeah. Hey, you know, you never know. I mean, we never see what bit him and we never see him fully wolf out. That could have been like this could all be a raccoon. This could be all be a raccoon shifter episode. And we didn't realize it.

Bitch (: 36:51

This is true. I think this is what we're changing every time it says werewolf, we're going to change it to raccoon. Okay. So D -ing says that it's not the time of the month, so it can't be a raccoon and it's time to hit the books.

Jerk (: 37:01

Alright.

Jerk (: 37:10

But Sam's already found a similar murder from 10 years ago. So now they know that there's something else. All right. So and also we find out that Brian is tracking both Kate and Michael by putting GPS trackers on their phone without their permission.

Bitch (: 37:26

Find a friend, find a friend. But then Kate's just like, so what else can you hack?

Jerk (: 37:32

Yeah. So now they're going to hack into the restaurant security footage. Uh, and so, which, cause that's where Sam and Dean are having lunch and there we go. So Michael's going to put on a hat so he can look secretive and go put, take the spy bag inside so they can get the audio and better video. Well, Sam and Dean, well, Dean's eating a bunch of burgers and I like his clear eyes and clogged arteries.

Bitch (: 37:58

I think that is a good motto.

Jerk (: 38:02

And so they're gonna start talking about werewolves.

Bitch (: 38:06

Raccoons. So Dean has learned that raccoon wear raccoons that are turned up to four generations from pure blood. And then so he's like, oh, alpha. So we found this like, I guess this is in John's journal. And I had this reference transcript. And so in the transcript, it says that Sam gestures noncommittally and Dean continues with our less feral and can transform before, during and after the lunar cycle. Then he says, boom.

Jerk (: 38:08

Where am I?

Bitch (: 38:36

So at this point, I believe that they are just making up lore in order to make a story.

Jerk (: 38:44

Sure.

Bitch (: 38:45

because there's no such thing as an alpha anywhere in werewolf lore. I mean there are alpha packs. We've talked about that before. That is...

Jerk (: 38:55

Well, and this but and that's that's been part of the supernatural lore is that there's alphas for all the things, but.

Bitch (: 39:02

There is right. But that, but that is a, it is part of the supernatural SPN mythology that there are alpha vampires and there are alpha wolves in human mythology because it's not something that actually exists within the animal world as far as I understand it, but I am not a wolf person. A lichen tholid, like it, what would you be a lichen?

like a knowledgist, so like a, what would you, I don't know. So sure, that's what those people are, people who study rules.

Jerk (: 39:35

Sounds right. That sounds right.

like anologist.

Bitch (: 39:43

And someone out there is shitting themselves right now. I'm so sorry to whoever's mental. Like you spent all those years on your, your mini degrees. I'm sure. And like, well, so let's just talk about our lore anyways. So within the TV supernatural lore, the were raccoon slash were wolves are theoretically coming.

Jerk (: 39:46

Good. Now you're welcome.

Jerk (: 40:03

Yes.

Bitch (: 40:10

Okay, so there are four generations from an alpha, they're less feral and they can transform before an aff, whenever they want, right? So they don't have to have a full moon. They don't need to be on their cycle. They can just do it whenever, right? And they can, they can just do the wolves. They can do it. They can wolf out whenever they want.

Jerk (: 40:29

Yeah, they can.

Jerk (: 40:33

Do it. Whenever.

Bitch (: 40:37

And so they're, these are like the fancier werewolves and they don't need to set something else up. They're like, they, they don't have to eat the hearts, right? They can, they can, these can eat chicken hearts. I wonder if they can eat like impossible hearts. Could they make like an impossible, like, like a beat, like beef heart? Would that be okay for them?

Jerk (: 40:49

down, animal hearts.

Bitch (: 41:01

So this weekend we did hear about another werewolf and that's what we're gonna talk about today and we're gonna talk about the converse werewolf because I wanted to know more we learned this is as Diana said we saw Lyle Blackburn talk about a bunch of Texas cryptids and monsters and remember the difference is that a Cryptid doesn't change in a monster does is that it is that the difference?

No, no, there's like a run. I wanted them house at the moon. One of them wears a tutu. Okay, so this is the legend of the converse werewolf and the converse werewolf is actually from closer to Lavernia, but that doesn't really matter because unless you live here, you will never go to either of those places. I live 15 minutes to those places. And the only reason that I go to converse is because there's an aerial gym there. So.

Jerk (: 41:31

But no. Yeah.

Jerk (: 41:38

There we go.

Bitch (: 42:01

I will say that Laverne is better because it does involve skulls crossing and that just sounds really metal.

Jerk (: 42:09

does.

Bitch (: 42:10

So I'm going to tell you the story of the converse werewolf, but as told in written by the Texas cryptotutter, Michael Mays, because I was too lazy to write a version myself and his was pretty good. Honestly, all I would do is just take this version and then tell chat GP to change it up a little bit so that it wasn't plagiarism. So my as well, just, you know, read someone else's given credit. So.

Jerk (: 42:35

give them credit, decide it and be done. Yeah.

Bitch (: 42:39

Seriously, I can do my own lore research, but why? This was fine.

That's just my motto for: 2024

Jerk (: 42:45

Oh my gosh.

Bitch (: 43:13

who moved to the area in an effort to put the horrors of the Civil War behind him and lived out his days quietly on the South Texas plains. This man had a son who was something of a disappointment to him, as many fathers have sons who are disappointments to them. The lad was frail, bookish, and preferred studying to wrangling and hunting. He just wanted to read those damn books. Hate them.

This frustrated the old rancher to no end, and he decided to make a man out of the boy. To this end, the rancher decided to send his son out hunting. He hoped the boy would take a liking to the sport, and after making his first kill, would prefer the more manly activity of hunting to that of reading and studying all day. You know how much effort hunting takes?

Like it's a lot like you got to get up early. You got to like shoot things with any kind of like, you know, cut them up and clean them and like carry them around and they're heavy. You don't have to do that shit. If you're reading a book, like I don't have to get up at 4 a .m. to read like anyhow. So I may, you know, I will say that I did often take books while I go hunting. So.

Jerk (: 44:26

You just might stay up till 4 a .m. reading, but.

Bitch (: 44:34

So he directed the boy to a heavily wooded area along a street called Skull Crossing. And you can go to the Skull Crossing ranch. They breed horses there and you can buy one for $15 ,000. I mean, I know that because I looked that up today, looked that up during, I think during the livestock. So the boy was reluctant at first and resisted, but one way or the other was finally coerced into going probably with a, I will give you something to cry about if you don't go hunting.

Jerk (: 44:46

True.

Jerk (: 44:51

you did.

Bitch (: 45:03

I know this old rancher well. The old rancher watched with high hopes, probably not, as his son walked away from the homestead towards the woods. The old band would soon be disappointed, however, as his son returned a few hours later empty -handed. When chastised for returning without any game, the boy told his father that he left the area out of fear as he had spotted and been stalked by a monster resembling a werewolf.

The father immediately dismissed this wild story and conjured his son into returning the area to finish his hunt. Probably once again with a, I will give you something to cry about.

trembling and fearful, always a good thing to have with a firearm, the boy trudged back out to the ominously named area of Skull Crossing. Little did the old rancher know it would be the last time he would see his son alive. Hours passed and darkness began to fall.

Jerk (: 45:51

Sure.

Jerk (: 46:07

Aww.

Bitch (: 46:10

the old man, the story goes, began to worry and have second thoughts about sending his inexperienced son out into the woods alone.

Jerk (: 46:21

Oh, he's having second thoughts about that.

Bitch (: 46:26

While he hopes the reason the boy had not returned was because he had yet to make a kill, he began to have a sinking feeling deep in his gut that something was wrong. Deciding not to wait any longer, the rancher rounded up some neighbors and they made their way toward the wooded area near Skull Crossing in search of the boy. What they found upon arriving there is the stuff of nightmares. These are not my nightmares. My nightmares generally involve tests and...

as I haven't finished. So the search party happened upon a monstrous hirsute? h -i -r -s -u -t -e? Is that a word? I don't know. I'm sure that's a word that means something. We'll look it up one day. This creature hunched over the body of the rancher's son. The beast was in the act of ravenously devouring the boy when discovered. The man got off a few shots at the monster, but it bounded away at lightning speed.

The werewolf, as it was dubbed, maybe were raccoon, was described as standing between eight to nine feet tall and covered in dark hair or fur. That is a basketball playing were raccoon. That is a very tall thing. Members of the search party described it as being some kind of unholy combination between a wolf and a male.

Jerk (: 47:40

very tall.

Jerk (: 47:52

Hmm.

Bitch (: 47:53

The old rancher was understandably devastated by the death of his boy. He blamed himself for not believing his son's story and believed he sent his son to his doom by forcing him to return to Skull Crossing to complete his hunt because he did. And then he goes on to say, the versions of the tale I've heard say the rancher died shortly after.

some versions he became reclusive, refused to eat and wasted away. Others say he committed suicide by setting fire to their home and burning up the other way. You know, not good. So I think, you there's some, some, some stories, some, some morals to the story. Sometimes your son just wants to read a book and you should leave him the fuck alone.

Jerk (: 48:47

Well, but if the family needed food and there was time to go, you had to be able to have that skill. You don't know, they don't have a clear backstory.

Bitch (: 48:50

He didn't say they needed food. You can contribute to your household in many ways, Diana. Perhaps he reads that...

Jerk (: 49:00

This is the 1800s. He should probably know how to kill food.

Bitch (: 49:03

He can read a book, make money from reading that book and then pay someone else to kill his food. Not everybody, not everybody would have, not everybody killed their own food. And he wouldn't have fun. Let him read his book. Leave him the fuck alone, Diana. Otherwise he's going to get eaten by a werewolf. You've let him read the fucking book. You're so bad. You're just like sending him out to his death because you want some fucking turkey.

Jerk (: 49:25

I just keep picturing a werewolf.

Jerk (: 49:32

No, I wouldn't have sent him to skull crossing, to be fair. I wouldn't have sent him to skull crossing. Yeah. That's was thinking.

Bitch (: 49:33

or whatever the fu - It's the - It's skull crossing! You know what's out there? You know what's there to eat? There's some deer, right? There - I'm sure there's probably a lot of deer. And a bobcat. And a were raccoon, apparently. And it's gonna eat you.

Jerk (: 49:48

Apparently, well apparently there's a raccoon or a werewolf kicking it in some all stars. Cause that's all I can think of every time I hear about Converse werewolf. Cause I'm like, oh, this werewolf has some killer fucking shoes and he hangs out at skull crossing. He's metal AF. Cause that's not only is he hanging out at skull crossing. He's also like, as we all know, if they're not in vans.

Bitch (: 49:55

I know.

Bitch (: 50:04

I know, I know I like this.

Bitch (: 50:10

Yep.

Jerk (: 50:16

or steel -toed boots, they're in converse.

Bitch (: 50:16

You're it.

Bitch (: 50:21

fair or Adidas depending on the day we're in the subculture playing you could be an Adidas. So I do believe in in Wiles version that they did explicitly see the a transformation or heard like you know like there was an actor like the bones like cracking and stuff so things and yeah thing yeah.

Jerk (: 50:27

That's true. But it's just funny. So there we go.

Jerk (: 50:42

as it stood up. I'm not sure if was one of the other sightings, but yeah, there was one for sure where they heard the creature like moving and heard things cracking as it stood up. But yeah.

Bitch (: 50:50

Yeah. So, but that is, I did not know there was that legend really has been around these here parts for these here parts for for Minion Moon, but I had never heard of that.

Jerk (: 50:57

these hair parts.

Jerk (: 51:04

Yeah, there's a there's quite a few I mean, I'm sure wherever you're at, wherever you live, there probably are some but I feel like

Did not be not just send by. I feel like we probably have a lot more here just because of how spread out the land is and how much different type of terrain we have. And Texas. Yeah, I mean, that's what I was. I mean, that's what I want to say, but I was trying to play it off.

Bitch (: 51:21

Because Texas is going to be really, really good. This is the Lone Star State. Like, I don't know. Like, we have...

Jerk (: 51:30

Cryptids, what, what? There we go. But yeah, no. It's a good story. We're tired and stressed this week. Can you tell? Can you tell? Okay.

Bitch (: 51:34

So sorry.

Bitch (: 51:42

All right, so they were gonna go back to And we're going back to fucking fuck

Jerk (: 51:53

Yeah, Sam and Dean are going to find it and kill it.

Bitch (: 51:55

Sam and Dean have figured out that a were raccoon has come to town.

Jerk (: 52:00

And they make a lot of dog jokes and pedigree jokes and that we even get a best in show joke. And I was deeply amused. And they're like, well, I've got to find it and kill it. There we go.

Bitch (: 52:09

So Michael back at the house, Michael is upset that he's a wolf.

Jerk (: 52:18

He is. And, but Kate's convinced that Sam and Dean are not the FBI because Dean says awesome too much. And FBI doesn't hunt and kill college kids.

Bitch (: 52:29

The second one, yes, definitely probably a good idea that you're not FBI. Feds probably say awesome more than they should. So Brian thinks that them being apart for the year also means that he was right about the office romance. So we definitely, they think they're right about their Mulder and Scully vibes.

Jerk (: 52:50

Yeah.

Jerk (: 52:59

I guess. So, all right. So we get a little argument again with Michael and Kate are mad at each other because they just don't know what's going on. So they're going to go fight while Brian looks through footage of the woods and then they don't want to talk to him and see what he found. So he just decides to go to the woods alone where he found a pen on the ground.

Hmm. And now he's hiding a camera in an office at the campus and he's confess, confronting his professor saying, I know what you are. And we get a weird cut just to see Kate crying. And then we go back to Brian coming to arrive in the house, telling Kate, seeing Kate packing cause her and Michael are leaving in the morning to protect them.

And Brian's like, but I took care of it. And he's got his footage from the professor's office. And basically, Brian recognized that as his professor's pen, professors playing dumb. But Brian's figured out that this professor is the is a werewolf. And so he pulls he's like pulls a knife on him, basically says, I want to get bitten. And finally, they're discussing eating hearts. And it's.

Like talking about how like, oh, you think a human heart opens the monster inside you. And then he hadn't had a human heart and whatever until last week. And he just got too tempted. And that's why he killed that guy. And now the hunters are here. So I bit Michael to make him my patsy. Because fuck that guy who sleeps through my class.

Bitch (: 54:40

Well, and he's also thought what, which I think one is yes, this is what you should, should happen to you. You're sleeping through somebody's lecture. Fuck you pay attention. Also you paid for this class or someone paid for it, but hot, again, hot dudes don't have to take notes. So we again, get this Brian's being sick of being piggy and he wants to be Ralph, then blah, blah. And he took care of things and his arm has a bite mark. What the what?

Jerk (: 54:55

Mm -hmm.

Bitch (: 55:10

I don't understand where the bite mark came from.

Jerk (: 55:11

So, oh, that was when he was, that weird scene when they kind of cut to and he's climbing on the professor and holding a knife on him. He made the professor bite his arm. Ugh.

Bitch (: 55:20

Okay, okay, I guess like each of us. It's this, Brian, you're a bitch.

Jerk (: 55:25

but it's healed. But I like that the professor says, you know, you don't get to choose who you are. Brian's like, I did.

Bitch (: 55:34

Brian, Brian, Brian.

Jerk (: 55:40

And he decides to show off his claws to Kim and Michael. And he's got all this footage of the professor freaking out after after he leaves. We're watching the professor freak out and smash up his office. And Sam and Dean show up at the office because probably because Brian called and tipped them off because remember he had their card from earlier. So anyways, they shoot him and then Sam and Dean noticed the camera.

So here we go. Now we're going to get a monologue from Brian.

Bitch (: 56:18

from Brian saying that he did this for Kate cause he could, he did what Michael couldn't and he's not behind behind the cameras. He was, he was never hiding behind the cameras. He was always hiding behind Michael, but now they're equals. You fucking loser piece of crap. That is not how life works. You fucking insult. So I just, I can't stand Brian. I can't, I just want to like take him and just want to like smack his.

whiny little head against a wall and be like, she doesn't like you, Brian. Get all three. I hate, I hate all of them. I just.

Jerk (: 56:49

Honestly, all three of them, I'm sorry. Well, I think it's also just like it reminds you just like college kids are dumb. But anyway, Michael's just like this are young.

Bitch (: 56:58

That's true. Like they're, they're, they're prefrontal lobes. They're prefrontal lobes. They're just like little smooshy little, little walnuts and probably made worse from bug being behind the camera. I just, I don't have sympathy for any of them, but I want them all to die.

Jerk (: 57:06

Yeah.

Jerk (: 57:11

Yeah, and we've got Michael. I know. No, I don't have sympathy. No sympathy. So Michael is finally like, by the way, I do remember killing Scott and eating his heart. And yeah.

Bitch (: 57:22

It was sweet and delicious. I do like it was just like the Michael line is delivered pretty great. I was just like, like, it sounds really sad. And then all of a sudden just turns. He's like, and it was sweet and delicious. And I'm like, what?

Jerk (: 57:30

It is.

Jerk (: 57:35

It was delicious. Yeah. So anyways, now we're going to get a real weird scene. Brian's grabbing Kate calling, you know, whatever. And then they're going to all wolf out. We're going to have Brian and Michael have to fight while Kate screaming and Michael's winning. So Brian fucking stabs and kills him. What the actual fuck? Well.

Kate can't have that. So she pulls the knife out of Michael. It goes after Brian is slashing at him while he's professing his love because he wants to bite her so she'll understand.

And he grabs her and he bites her and she's crying in the bathroom. And he's like, Oh, we have Brian's like cries. I'm going to fix this. So she destroys the bathroom first, like you do. Then she gets a camera and then she tells him I'm coming out. I understand now. And he's smiling, waiting on her.

She gives him the camera and then she fucking destroys him. She is her shredding. Brian is what just what was all over that fucking living room. That was the blood splatter.

Bitch (: 58:38

She eats them.

Bitch (: 58:44

That was what was painted. He, Brian, is what was not mad that Brian is painted all over these walls, probably. Oh, God.

Jerk (: 58:57

It's a lot. But then they also didn't like you do the like she didn't touch Michael's body, which is interesting. So we get her monologue and like, oh, you didn't finish. I didn't finish this movie to justify anything. I don't know. You know, I don't understand. But he, you know, he wasn't always none of us were always monsters and like a montage. And she's like, I'm going to leave. I'm going eat animal hearts. Didn't.

Please believe me and don't chase me.

Bitch (: 59:28

Yeah. And this is where they do the throwback to the beginning of her wanting to be a green lawyer and then what they all wanted to be growing up. But then they, that's, they never got their chance. And then we finally, finally leave this fucking found footage perspective and go back to normal camera.

Jerk (: 59:50

And Sam and Dean are like, huh, okay, well that explains who the splatter is and who this body is. Good to know. Good to know. Kate's got a half a day jump on us though. So what do we want to do? And they agree that because she has not yet hurt a human to let her go, which is actually a pretty big shift from these two. Well, from Dean.

Jerk (: 01:00:11

Right. But he's like, let's give her a shot. She didn't choose this. And then he's really concerned that he says awesome too much. Dean and Sam lies to him about it.

Bitch (: 01:00:11

Yes, yes.

Bitch (: 01:00:25

Yeah, and I think there is something, an underlying thing to think about. I'm just trying not to spoil her to think about why Dean is now okay with letting Kate go and giving her a shot.

Jerk (: 01:00:40

Well, I mean, we all we do know that he, you know, befriended a vampire. He befriended a vampire, so maybe that's changed his mind about monsters a little bit.

Bitch (: 01:00:44

that he's fucking a vampire? Yeah. He's fucking a vampire, so he really has to like...

Yeah, so, I don't know, so maybe that's why, but...

Jerk (: 01:01:01

Well, our episode ends with Kate walking down some railroad tracks in the sunset. It's stupid. So.

Bitch (: 01:01:08

All right, casting couch.

Jerk (: 01:01:10

Yeah, let's talk about the cast in this. They were it wasn't a knock on that. It was like just it's the style of storytelling that was not my jam. But.

Bitch (: 01:01:13

Who are all fantastic actors? Y 'all are great.

Bitch (: 01:01:24

It was well done, whatever, go on. So we'll.

Jerk (: 01:01:26

It was. And honestly, this one, I was pretty impressed. Brian was played by Lee Parker. He's fucking Australian. I would never have known. Good. Good accent. Yeah. He has not been in a ton of things, though. Pretty limited credits. He had a role in All Cheerleaders Die in a movie called Wild and a Netflix film called The Opera House. Kate was played by Britt Sheridan, who's born in Fort Worth, Texas, and.

Bitch (: 01:01:33

Crikey.

Bitch (: 01:01:53

ETC

Jerk (: 01:01:53

She doesn't have an extensive credit either, but I did see that we will be seeing her again, which is interesting. But she's been in episodes of shows like 90210 and Stitcher's. Michael was played by Brandon W. Jones. He's been in a lot of shows, things like 90210 Law and Order, L .A., CSI New York, Two Broke Girls, Big Bang Theory, Empire. He had reoccurring roles in Lie to Me, CSI and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

and was a regular character in Pretty Little Liars as Andrew. Interestingly, guy that only got a couple scenes is our professor Ludensky, was played by David James Lewis, had a pretty extensive amount of credits. Actually, he's been in a ton of stuff, a lot of indie things and a lot of hallmarks. So, you know, that that bulks up that that credits list for sure.

s, though it was a: 1983

Bitch (: 01:03:01

This is a very rude version of Deliverance.

Jerk (: 01:03:04

But he's been in episodes. He was in X -Files multiple times, Outer Limits multiple times. He's been in shows like Dead Like Me, Criminal Minds, L Word repeatedly. Smallville a couple of times. Fringe, Travelers. He was in a couple of episodes of Magicians and of Nancy Drew. He was Bob in the movie Halloween Resurrection. Ted in Deck the Halls. Daniel in The Girlfriend Experience.

Denzel, he plays Denzel Crocker in all of the Fairly Odd, Fairly Odd Parents live action shows. Major Larimore in Man of Steel and Mitchell in The Girlfriend's Guides to Divorce.

Bitch (: 01:03:43

That's hot.

Jerk (: 01:03:44

Yeah. And that's just shortening it. So I think my comment would be similar to we were just saying a second ago. It wasn't the premise of the episode that was annoying. No, hold on.

Bitch (: 01:03:57

Technically, technically it was all done well. It was, it was all done beautifully. It was active, beautifully. It was shot beautifully. It was y 'all did this whole idea of a found footage within a TV show. Wonderfully. It just annoys the shit out of me. And I fucking hate these kids.

Jerk (: 01:04:01

It was all done well. We just don't seem to like this premise. Yeah.

Jerk (: 01:04:19

Yeah, it's they were is it was a little bit rough. The super like, I'm so in love. I'm going to die. And I'm so dumb about this. Like it is a lot.

Bitch (: 01:04:26

You have a creepy, like an insecure stalker boyfriend who doesn't understand how to talk to women and who basically just assaults and taxes girl who falls in love too quickly with a, has a very, what seems like, you know, to what's the second, what's the Sam and Dean word? What are they together?

Jerk (: 01:04:33

It's not good, yeah.

Jerk (: 01:04:52

codependent.

Bitch (: 01:04:53

Codependent. Yeah. So it seems like she has developed this very quick, like quickly, like developed a. Yeah. And just Michael just seems like an idiot, right? He just seems like a fucking moron. So I, there was nothing about him that gave a substance. Maybe like there was something somewhere, but we were not shown it. We did not. So I'm just like, yeah. So you ate your rival Scott from your own, from the Oak Hill gang, you know, like.

Jerk (: 01:04:59

Quick code appendant.

Jerk (: 01:05:12

We didn't get to see that part.

Jerk (: 01:05:19

Well...

But like, but like also, like the I think the problem here's my my issue that was active. Well, I think they went too hard on the cliches. I think that was part of the problem. I think it went too hard. Like, you know, like Scott's a fucking super douche, but like he's not going to be like not take time listening to a girl say no on the bleachers one day and then the next day be talking about the honeys and threatening Kate. Like that's just I felt like that was a little brazen and unrealistic.

Bitch (: 01:05:40

He's not going to be the leader of a small town gang.

Bitch (: 01:05:48

He like, this is, yeah, this is like a, I don't even know Disney movie. Like, yeah, but it's very much like I am, you know, I'm such a terrible person that I'm going to date rape. What? There's a lot that there's just a lot of date rape with this thing. Like I just, it's just weird.

Jerk (: 01:05:53

It's caricature. There's a caricature version.

Jerk (: 01:06:05

It was just weird. I just felt like the college characters were so caricatured that that made it difficult. You also called, I couldn't figure out what bothered me about Kate and you called it out right before we started recording though. And what did you say about her?

Bitch (: 01:06:11

Like this is how -

Bitch (: 01:06:18

She's very stylistically similar to original Meg.

Jerk (: 01:06:23

And I see that too, and I think I couldn't place it and that's what it was.

Bitch (: 01:06:27

It was also as we know a whiny bitch. So automatically I put that onto her, but shockingly my personality doesn't tend to like super clinky quippin'. I only seem to be obsessed with their boyfriends because she wants to be a lawyer, not a filmmaker. So why the fuck do you have this goddamn camera, Kate?

Jerk (: 01:06:42

Whaaaat?

Jerk (: 01:06:55

A lot. I just I here's the deal. I think that was creative. And like you said, it was well done. I don't want to sound like we're shitting on everything. And so I want to be clear. It was an enjoyable episode in a lot of ways. But I just felt like they over exaggerated this like stupid college kid thing. But anyway, I did like the I really enjoyed it, how they dovetailed in their interaction with Sam and Dean. I thought that was super fucking cool. I did even though it was the found footage.

Bitch (: 01:07:03

We thought it was sorry.

Bitch (: 01:07:23

Well, and part of it also is just anytime that the focus is taken away from Sam and Dean, it automatically makes you uncomfortable. It's their show. I want to watch their show, not a show about other people. At the same time, I understand. Again, well done. Love that.

Jerk (: 01:07:34

Right, because you don't know these people. This isn't the story. Yeah.

Jerk (: 01:07:44

Blah, blah, blah. Thanks.

All right, that's all I got.

Bitch (: 01:07:50

Yeah, it was fine. I hope I never have to watch this fucking episode again.

Jerk (: 01:07:54

Well, you shouldn't.

Bitch (: 01:07:56

Please don't let anyone watch this episode. I'm dead now. Alright, cheers, sir.

Jerk (: 01:08:00

Ah.

Cheers, bitch.