8:16 Remember the Titans
We are at Supernatural Season 8, Episode 16 Remember the Titans. We have Titans and Greek Gods and Goddesses. Then we talk about the depictions of Artemis' Roman counterpart Diana in the Met in a very serious quiz.
Research Links
- Carl Friedrich Thienpondt | Diana | The Metropolitan Museum of Art
- Narcisse-Virgile Diaz de la Peña | Diana | The Metropolitan Museum of Art
- Karl Theodore Bitter | Diana | American | The Metropolitan Museum of Art
- Olin Levi Warner | Diana | American | The Metropolitan Museum of Art
- Augustus Saint-Gaudens | Diana | American | The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Transcript
Welcome to this week's episode of Devil's Trap Podcast. I'm Diana.
Bitch (:I am Liz.
Jerk (:and we're going to talk season 8 episode 16, Remember the Titans.
Bitch (:For some reason that really sounded like, it felt like it was gonna go, I am grr.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:So, remember the Titans. Remember the Titans.
Jerk (:Mmm hmm. Football movie.
Bitch (:Yes, my favorite sports. So did were you watching sports ball this weekend I don't know is there sports ball going on I know basketball is over right I think I don't care I don't know.
Jerk (:Uh, but it.
Jerk (:No, basketball's in playoffs. The Mavericks are in the playoffs and the Stars for hockey are in the playoffs. That's exciting. And Dave's soccer team is doing really well.
Jerk (:Bowls.
Bitch (:Gay balls!
Bitch (:So what else is going on besides balls in your world?
Jerk (:That's all I got.
Jerk (:Uh, so I, um, it feels like so into a concert. Um, so yeah, no, I saw actually a really great band. I would like to shout the great, the like greatness of, uh, I went and saw a band called low cut Connie and I think that they are a phenomenal show, incredible musicians and a band that people should go see and or listen to.
Low cut Connie, strong recommend. But yeah, they put on a phenomenal show. It was just super fun. It's like a very theatrical, very rock and roll piano, go-go dancers. It's like piano rock and roll. Think like 70s and 80s Billy Joel, but very heavy, but heavier, not very heavy, but heavier. So yeah, go-go dancers, you know, like it's, but that actually like.
Bitch (:I was like, what's the genre?
Bitch (:Billy Joel.
Bitch (:Okay.
Jerk (:have like amazing pipes, they like sang so well and it was just really good. Phenomenal show, I started up to do that with some friends of ours that we don't always get to hang out with and that was cool. And other than that, I did a lot of work stuff. So that's happening, a lot of work. And yay, yay. That's good stuff, it's just like going to conferences and sitting at panels, hey.
Bitch (:Cool.
Bitch (:It's always fun.
Bitch (:Oh, sounds terrible. What a horrible life. You do lead.
Jerk (:I'm not, I'm not bitching, I'm just not saying it's the most exciting thing in the world.
Bitch (:there.
Jerk (:one of those like it's fine. So yeah, how about you? What you got? I think you did something cool.
Bitch (:Yeah, so last Saturday, Wayward Sisters had a live pot, not live. Yeah, I guess they did a live stream of their podcast. And I also purchased their meet and greet. And so Wayward Sisters, so I told Diana she could not attend because she has not met Brianna's character. She's
Obviously you have been to cons with me and you have seen Brianna and Cameroon's as stick, which is really good, but they're Brianna's character hasn't shown up in the show yet, so we don't know who she is or what she does. Oh no. So I attended by myself, but it was the meet and greet was over zoom. And so that was kind of interesting because, you know, if you go to a meet
Jerk (:Right.
Jerk (:Hmmm
Bitch (:And not always a case, but a lot of times a meet and greet is a line. And so you, you say hi, and then you go off. Right. So, but when it's over zoom, you can kind of hang out and you could hear all the other people's questions and like their interactions with them. And so it's almost like a bonus time and you get some extra insight into who these people are. And I think, you know, both of them, you know, I've, you have, I said again, I know you've seen them at cons, like they're just such authentically.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:these. And it's just really they're badass women and very fun to listen to and to speak with. I asked some very insightful questions like, are you afraid that you're going to break your hair with how platinum you're making it? Because those are things that concern me, to which I think the answer from Kim was it's already broken and I don't give a fuck, which is
Jerk (:Reasonable answer. Yeah Yes
Bitch (:pretty good answer and relatable in many ways. And then during the meet and greet, I think...
The episode really was going into was almost, I mean, it's because I'm in group therapy. And so like, I do therapy all the time. That's all I'm thinking about right now. But that was kind of like what the episode was. It was about, you know, being in awkward social situations that they had and like how you like overcome them and how they overcame them. So I was thinking about it because my therapist like I'm supposed to
tell myself an affirmation every day and write three down. I don't do that because. You know, but I mean, I do have like affirmations on. No, that's why she called me at home, like I got a call from my therapist as I was bitching about not doing my because I got mad because I called out for not doing my homework and I was like, I don't want to do my homework. I would grown up, grown up, should have to do fucking homework.
Jerk (:Are you not doing your homework, Liz?
Bitch (:Quit getting on my shit, get off my ass. If I wanna do the homework, I'm paying for this shit. I'll do it. Anyways, what was I saying? So the therapy, anyways. Yeah, so like I do keep like on my mirror one of the boardwalks.
Jerk (:You're talking about the affirmations you're supposed to do, but you don't do. And then the group.
Bitch (:cards, it's like, you know, that says you deserve, you know, like the tallest of hellhounds and you deserve the silkiest of coffin linings, you know, those type of things. Like those affirmations I can get behind, but like, you're strong. Like Stuart, you know, the Stuart affirmations not quite so much. So I asked them, like, it was like, they both seemed like they were like, we're working on our mental health every day. And it was like, what are your affirmations? Let's see, which I think is a good Q&A question.
Jerk (:Yes.
Jerk (:Oh. Yeah.
Bitch (:And they didn't have any, but you know, like they still like it was the thought thing that made them think and Wasn't you know about the bathroom habits or something? So I feel like I won
Jerk (:You were not creepy nor were you mockable as a Q&A person.
Bitch (:I feel like I nailed that. There are some people who... I think everybody takes these things in different ways, in the supernatural family, we love you, and...
There's some pretty unique people out there. So it was really, you know, it was, it was fun to connect with people, like outside of like a con situation, because there was like chat that was running the whole time, so that was kind of cool. And, you know, so getting to hear about, you know, like almost every person, like, Oh, like everyone goes to the, like the Rajava parties.
Jerk (:Right.
Bitch (:And like, I will be like, which cons. So it does sound like a lot of people are coming to the Austin cons. So we need to probably get our asses and get our tickets or decide what we're doing before that sells out. And also the Seattle con is coming up. So that was big. And apparently there's something called the camp. I don't know what that is. And apparently there are people who have really reserved spot on that cruise ship.
Jerk (:Yes.
Jerk (:See you soon.
Jerk (:Oh, okay. Got it.
Bitch (:So those things are all happening. But yeah, there's the, the one in Italy, uh, Justin Bello, I know it's J.I.B. like that was last weekend. There was some pretty fun pictures, um, and videos of Jensen from there.
Jerk (:Okay.
Jerk (:I didn't see him. I saw, I was following it last year and I didn't see any this year. I'll have to check for him. Weird.
Bitch (:Yeah, that was just like that just happened. And Jensen, I know he had a solo panel and he hinted at something that's coming up that's going to take away his time from his family. He said, you know, basically it's been a while since he had a job that like took him away from them for that long. So something that is shooting at least like six weeks, probably, or more. And I didn't find anything in pre-production on his IMDB pro page. So like whatever is, it's still under wraps, but it should be released.
Jerk (:Okay.
Jerk (:Oh.
Jerk (:Hmm.
Bitch (:probably in the next couple of days based on that teaser stuff. So Mr. Ackles is something that we're gonna learn about. We don't know what it is.
Jerk (:Interesting.
Bitch (:So speculate amongst yourselves about what is going on.
Jerk (:Yeah, that's exciting.
Bitch (:What's going on? So what's going on? This is not AMS, whatever that shit is, I hate it. All right, so remember the Titans, remember the Titans. So that title is based on, as we said earlier, a sports ball movie. Cool.
Jerk (:I, I have to marry you. Yes.
Jerk (:that took place in Alexandria, Virginia at a high school there.
Bitch (:There we go. Oh no, Diana. You're doing.
Jerk (:What did I do?
Bitch (:our FNL character that you're... you just did it. You did. Okay. Anyway, so remember the Titans. So they took that, you know, we know where the title came from. It first aired February 27th, 2013. It was directed by Steve Boyum and written by Daniel Laughlin. So people who know this universe.
Jerk (:Oh no. Come on. No, I didn't. No.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Bitch (:And we just jump right into a recap about the fucking trials.
Jerk (:It's all about the fucking trials. Yeah, that's all it is. So we start our episode actually in Great Falls, Montana. So it is, there's a guy, right? Yeah, it's Montana. I just blanked for a minute, whoa. In middle of nowhere.
Bitch (:Yeah, it's Great Falls. It's okay. It's in the middle of fucking nowhere. And there's a dude just like getting his roadie and driving.
Jerk (:Yeah, drinking a beer, driving through the middle of nowhere. And there's, yeah. And there's a guy, it's nighttime, it's dangerous. And there's a guy walking on the side of the road. Well, yeah.
Bitch (:and fall asleep.
Bitch (:There's many things that are dangerous about what's happening here. There's a dude, he's walking outside of the road. He doesn't have like a, a reflective thing on. We don't know like what he's doing, but also like, I like when the guy who's driving like falls asleep and nods off his reaction when he wakes up is to take a swig of his beer and that'll keep you up.
Jerk (:Yeah.
coat.
Jerk (:Of course, got to refresh. Wake him up. Wake up. But he hits the guy that's walking on the side of the road. Of course. And it's bloody and not good. So the driver is all upset and he goes to check on him, kind of, about halfway there. Guy looks dead. So he runs and then drives away because he's a dick. That's rude.
Bitch (:Uh oh.
Bitch (:He leaves. It's a hit and run you fucking prick. That is you asshole. Like you're a bad person. You're a very, very like, sometimes it's hard to tell who the evil monsters are on the show. And this one I can tell you there went one. All right. So in the morning, there is a freaking eagle. And he's like, one of my friends and he's just like sitting there. He's just chowing down this guy's innards. Now.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:This does remind me. So I've told you about the raccoons, right? So there was like one raccoon that was, it's gonna tie into this show. So there was.
Over Thanksgiving, there was a raccoon who died and he was by this giant rock in this person's yard. And the raccoon proceeded to be eaten by my friends and vultures over a period of day. And it happened to be a day that I was driving in and out of the neighborhood with a car full of friends. So we were all able to time lapse the raccoon being stripped and moved by the vulture of things. Then
Last week I drove by and there was another raccoon on the other side of the road from this house and being stripped by my vulture friends. Then on next door I saw a thing where somebody said, I think somebody is poisoning the raccoons. They keep dying outside my house.
Jerk (:Oh.
Jerk (:Ooh. They also have like we have a really there was a bad outbreak of. Damn it. I forget what it is. Nothing tip theory or some one of the one of one of the animal illnesses that we have about we get we get big raccoon breakouts of that up here. Sometimes it's very odd. But it's.
Bitch (:tetanus, tuberculosis, typhoid, E. coli.
Bitch (:Yeah. So anyways, yeah, it was like right in the same area, but like, because it was like right at that giant rock, I just think it from ETH. It was like it was like the raccoon for me, the S. But anyways, so but yeah, this is like a fucking eagle. But that's just a weird thing to have. Yeah.
Jerk (:It's so dark. So, yeah, just peck, just pecking it as it's just pecking out of the innards. And the cops pull up and it's like this guy is frozen AF. The cops like kind of checks, but it takes enough, I think, and calls it in.
Bitch (:Well, and the eagle just flaps off. Like he was like, I'm not going to fight you for my meal. Like.
Jerk (:Mm, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Maybe. But this guy looks frozen as fuck and the bird's eating his innards. He did. So cop goes to call it in. And then. And then as the cop turns his back, the guy wakes up and runs into the woods.
Bitch (:Or is he?
Bitch (:Okay, so is that what you thought was gonna happen with the dead guy? No, you thought he was gonna be dead dead?
Jerk (:No.
Jerk (:I wasn't sure if he'd be dead
Bitch (:I guess my question is were you surprised when he got up?
Jerk (:kind of yeah. I was. I was. So.
Bitch (:Ugh.
There will be a loud sound of Pinot Noir being poured from my fancy, fancy carafe into my into my bug now. Everyone, I know why this is the sound ear episode. Y'all enjoy that.
Jerk (:Well, either way, the cop ain't going to follow him into the woods. We find out later we won't follow him in the woods because bears. But we'll come back to bears. So we go. Bears in the woods. So we go back to the bunker. Yay, bunker.
Bitch (:There's bears in the woods.
Bitch (:Yay, the bunker. Let's just stay in the bunker, please. Like we don't need to go. But then like first, like it looks like the water is just like, you also know, I can never have that bunker because I will not leave it. But first, it looks like it looks like the water from the tap is gross, not that this is coming from Sam's mouth.
Jerk (:Gross.
Jerk (:Yes and no, it's very confusing, but either way Sam is bleeding from his mouth and they show it in a really weird way.
Bitch (:Yeah.
Bitch (:He has really bad gingivitis, like just like gingivitis like you've never seen. The parodontist is just like, I don't know what to do with you, sir. We cannot scale your gums anymore.
Jerk (:It looks very uncomfortable. Looks very uncomfortable.
Jerk (:Well, he's hiding this from Dean and Dean comes in and they basically they give our little timing update for us very casually that they haven't talked to Kevin in three weeks. So we know now it's been about three weeks since we've talked to them and uh and he is.
Bitch (:Yeah, Dean is also in his dead bands robe, the DMR, is what I'm calling it. But so you tell that there's gas masks by the sink. So is this like the kitchen? Is that what's going on with this room? Like what room in the bunker do you think this is?
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Jerk (:the rooms don't make sense at all. So I've decided it's like the library has a fucking sink in the middle of it with gas masks. Like I don't fucking know why isn't the sink in the bathroom? What's the fuck's what room is this? Maybe. But that's like a ham sink. Why is that in the kitchen?
Bitch (:I don't think this is a library. I think this is the I feel like it's the kitchen. Maybe I don't know. Like, why is there a sink in there? I don't know. Like, why are they researching in there? I'm very confused about what this room is. But I also want those gas masks.
Jerk (:It's. Well, either way, we figure out that it's been three weeks since they've talked to Kevin. They haven't talked to Castile at all. And Dean comments that Sam is acting cagey. So anyways, but they kind of just said they probably need to get out of this fucking bunker.
Bitch (:Yeah, yeah, Dean is very Diana being like it's not good to like be in your house all the time Although he nested for a minute. He was almost there
Jerk (:You can nest, you can nest. I like, I nested Sunday, so I hung over, but I nested Sunday. But sometimes you still have to get out of your house sometimes, it's good for you.
Bitch (:Yep. So, Sam's solution is zombies. Hey.
Jerk (:Yes, he has a newspaper. And article says human roadkill turns zombie. And it looks like the weekly world news. It could be. But and but there's nothing about brain munchin. They would like you to note. So they're going to go to Great Falls, Montana and check this shit out.
Bitch (:Zombie, zombie, eh, eh.
Bitch (:Quite.
Bitch (:No.
Bitch (:Well, this is Livingston, Montana, really is where they're going. And there are they say this because there's two attractions listed for Livingston, Montana on Wikipedia. Although small, Livingston has a number of popular tourist attractions. The Livingston Depot, built in 1902 after two predecessors, is a restored rail station that houses a railroad museum open from May to September. So only May to September.
Jerk (:Okay.
Bitch (:outside in those times, you are fucked. So the Yellowstone Gateway Museum documents regional history from one of the oldest North American archaeological sites to Wild Western and Yellowstone history. There is also the International Fly Fishing Federation Museum that has an extensive introduction to a popular game sport and hosts annual enthusiast meetings.
Jerk (:I feel like they don't get a lot of twists.
Bitch (:The city was inhabited for two decades by Calamity Jane and a number of traveling members of European royalty, which I think may be that Prince movie with Julia Stiles. Like I think that may be there, but I'm not sure. That could be the royalty that was there, but that sound sounds like it's a banging good time. You can go to that fly fishing museum or the Living Sim Depot, but remember only for May to September.
Jerk (:Share.
Jerk (:Right. Well, they go meet with the cop that found this body. And this cop is first kind of mocks and asks why, how long the FBI has been tracking zombie activity. And he's like, yeah, this guy's guts were packed out and his face was frozen. There was no drag marks and he couldn't search the woods because fucking grizzlies. So there you go.
And while he's talking to Sam and Dean, the clerk at the counter or the clerk working for him is like, by the way, I've got this coroner's report. They found a dude mauled to death by a grizzly and the cops like, it's our fucking zombie. Let's go is the same guy. So they're going to go. They, they Sam and Dean convinced deputy Sprayden is his name to stay back while they go check out this corpse.
the Zombie Corps.
Bitch (:Yeah. And he just wants to make sure that they aim for the head.
Jerk (:obviously. So this guy go and that's like there's no ID has no prints that matter like no prints in the system. But his liver is missing but I think just a bird got it. And he looks super fucking dead. So they like they're like this Dean's really bummed actually about this they go over to the next room instead of standing next to the dead body. Yeah. Just a dead guy. Yeah.
Bitch (:That's normal. That's totally normal. That's just a dude. Yeah, just dude with a hole in his liver.
Jerk (:And so they're talking about how much bullshit this is and how this is not a zombie. While they're talking, the guy gets up, just sits right on up and just walking away.
Bitch (:Whoops. I do love like wood chipper beats everything except grizzly bear. Or I guess and grizzly bear or you know and or.
Jerk (:I do like that. That is. So does, yeah, woodchipper beats everything. So does grizzly bear. Yes. And so the dude's up and when they turn around, he gone. So they got to go chase him down and they do. They successfully find this guy and they kind of like a gun. The Dean's got a gun on him, like asking what the fuck he is and like all this stuff. And this guy is like.
Bitch (:He's being very aggressive, so aggressive with that gun. He just like has it like in the back of his head and he is like, tell me what you know. I'm like, damn.
Jerk (:Poor dude
This guy's like, I don't know shit. I don't know what's going on, but I can't just please shoot me though, because I can't take this anymore.
Bitch (:Yeah, and if you're gonna kill me, kill me good, because it's not working. I just die and come back. And then Dean's like a real life Kenny. Who was that?
Jerk (:And then nobody else got the South Park joke. Womp womp.
Bitch (:Blah blah.
Jerk (:So the guy goes by Shane because you have to go buy something. And they take him back to their motel because they've got to go test and make sure he's not one of their supernatural monsters. So they do. They caught him. They make him drink from holy water flask and do all the things.
Bitch (:This would be very like it's all very disturbing and he's like, what kind of feds do this right and yes, what kind of who does this like this is all like nobody likes to be taken into like a strange motel room and then have their arms sliced open and then be forced to drink like holy water.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Jerk (:And have their own. Drink some rank water from a flask. That's so weird.
Bitch (:Is that even liquor in there? Like, how many times do you think Dean has like mixed up the holy water flask and the regular flask?
Jerk (:many times, I'm sure. Many times. So we find out that good old Shane's memory only goes back a few years. He doesn't know his real name, he just used this name because he has to use something. He remembers he was pulled off a mountain and that's when his condition started. And he kind of was like, I can't live around people like this apparently, so I'm gonna go be an off the grid hermit. And, but one of his neighbors were some,
squirrely pot growers and they shot him.
Bitch (:Yeah, yeah, you know what happens I did see that documentary. It's really good Okay, so like then like sam and deanie are like, well, maybe he's like cursed and he should have his own room
Jerk (:Yeah, maybe we feel bad for this guy and we should let him have a room. So they arrange for that.
Bitch (:Isn't that weird that like they're just like, we're gonna get another room? Like, why? Like, aren't you gonna stay with him the whole time? Like, why are you giving Shane his own hotel room? That seems bizarre. But anyhow.
Jerk (:It's so weird. But he's sleeping and this chick shows up and...
Bitch (:Oh, I guess for this plot device, that's why. Alright, okay.
Jerk (:That's why. So weird how that works, right? And she's all sneaky, and she sits down by a sleeping Shane in his bed. And he wakes up, and he asks her who she is.
Bitch (:Right? So strange.
Bitch (:Well, after she like, kind of like plays with his beard a little bit and she is like, oh, he's sleeping. I'm just going to fuck with his face. Because also, like as a woman, I understand that. Like if you're a man in his hair or whoever, just like, you know, like beards there just like touching.
Jerk (:Well, you know, like, poke it. That's weird. You like, soft touch it.
Bitch (:I've been single for a while and I don't know what to do.
Jerk (:Well, he asks who she is and she is pissed that he doesn't know who she is. So...
Bitch (:Yeah, so instead of that, we're just like, no beer play, we're gonna stab you, we're gonna fight.
Jerk (:Yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't like me touching your beard? I will kill you. So there's a big fight. Sam and Dean bust in. She flings them because she can apparently. She also has a very fancy knife. And Shane's kind of got the upper hand, though, on this, because apparently Shane can fight like a motherfucker. And. It's pretty impressive. And she's like, now I'm your worst enemy.
Bitch (:fair.
Bitch (:Yeah, there's some crazy martial arts happening now. This is like some Jet Li shit.
Bitch (:I'm so jealous of he's like who are you like now? I'm your worst enemy. Hey, I'm never gonna like there's never gonna be a point in my life I'm really gonna get to like whisper it like you say that to somebody No, it's the time has passed
Jerk (:Being someone's worst enemy sounds like a lot of work.
Bitch (:It does, but Nemesis sounds like fun. So like, then like, she's still pissed.
Jerk (:her and her fancy knife.
Bitch (:So she can apparently just disappear. So that's a thing she can do, okay. And then like Shane has a heart attack.
Jerk (:Right. While they're all trying to discuss what's happening and Dean's commenting how impressed he is with Shane's kung fu and Shane's like, I've never been a fight in my life as he collapses with a heart attack, but they can't call 911. So they just put him in bed and wait for him to die and come back.
Bitch (:And then we get some really, really funny things because Sam's like, well, like, who do we know that has like Jason Bourne fighting skills, dies a lot and has a history with violent women?
Jerk (:Hmm, I wonder who.
Bitch (:That's you, Sam. It's you.
Jerk (:Yes, yes it is. So yeah, so the next, it's daytime, there's a knock at the door and it is a woman with a small child with her looking for a corpse. Because that's not creepy.
Bitch (:That's weird. That's weird. Yeah, but I mean, aren't we all, I mean, just a woman knocking on the door looking for a corpse.
Jerk (:Well, this is Haley, and this young child is apparently Shane's son.
Bitch (:Right. And so we know now that their Fed names are Agent Bonham and Agent Jones. And haven't we already done Zeppelin?
Jerk (:Yes, we have. I wonder what even that long ago. But anyways, not yeah, I'm sure we have. So either way, apparently she sees she sees Shane laying on the bed and she leaves all of her to stand by Sam. Yeah. Well, there he is. Yeah. So she leaves all over to stand by Sam and Dean and like goes to Shane's body and.
Bitch (:LAME.
Bitch (:But she's just, she's on surprise. Like she's just like, oh, do you like, all right, I expected this.
Bitch (:What kind of fucking mom are you? Like, I guess you think they're feds, but you're just like, here, Brandon, man, I met in the cabin with a corpse. Take my child?
Jerk (:Right.
Jerk (:the feds that may have stolen a dead body from a morgue.
Bitch (:sure I'm like hang out with my child. Maybe like I guess like what's the worst that can happen?
Jerk (:Maybe not
Jerk (:I guess so. She they sit outside at the at a picnic table and she tells Sam and Dean her story about how she knows Shane. And basically she like went on this amazing trip to go climb a mountain in Europe. Which is very vague, by the way, like we're climbing out in Europe.
Bitch (:Well, this is also we know like it's the same earlier Shane was like, I know I know is like I woke up on a mountain avalanche. And we're like, oh shit, like she was on that mountain. And clearly with her friends and they were all coupling off and she was like, I don't know what to do. And she's like, oh shit, there's this dead guy. He's hot.
Jerk (:He said that too.
Jerk (:I don't know. There's an avalanche. There's an avalanche. She lost her friends. She finds Shane. She knew something was off with him, but, but she, but apparently she would not have made it down the mountain without Shane. And there's something else about him. So they go, they get, make it, they survive, they bang it out. And then he has a heart attack and dies. And then she's upset.
Bitch (:I think so. That sounds like what she said. Right?
Bitch (:See, the friends are off, they were coupling off.
Bitch (:And she's just like, this was awkward. Like, what the fuck? Like, do you like he did? Like, when do you stop? Like, how do you stop? Like, do you like, do you put your clothes on before you call? Like, there's so many things that like would ruin this is so awkward. I'm so glad this is Yeah.
Jerk (:No ma'am. No ma'am. No ma'am.
Jerk (:Well, she saw him pop up alive at the morgue, and that's when she was like, deuces, I'm out.
Bitch (:enough. Hard pass hard pass like red flag red flag danger swipe left swipe left.
Jerk (:Yeah. So nine months later, she had all of her.
Bitch (:Oh, no. Yeah. So she banged and then had a baby. Fuck.
Jerk (:And then she hired a PI to try to locate Shane at that when she had, after she had her son, but he didn't turn up anything. And so, no. So she, and then she started trying again more recently, and this is where she started getting the leads.
Bitch (:He wasn't a good PI. Like he just took her money and ran.
Bitch (:But why? But why did she do that? Sam wants to know.
Jerk (:Well, he wants to know, but right now we're gonna get interrupted. Cause Shane is back up and I'm living again. And he is very surprised to see Haley and she does not sugar coat this shit at all. She calls all of her right over and is like, boom, this is your son.
Bitch (:Huh!
Jerk (:Like no buildup, no like, let me talk to you one on one before I introduce you to your child, like.
Bitch (:I also realized like I think the reason this is getting to me is because we have a friend who has this son named Oliver and granted like Oliver is now in college but like I still feel like Oliver get over here! So anyways but she had like so you made a child hello!
Jerk (:Ah.
Jerk (:Yeah. And he's all kind of shocked. And then they were going to talk about you are the father. But Sam has been doing his research and he's like, I do think this is a curse, by the way. I think you're a Titan, which is a proto God. And this is just Sam and Dean talking right now before they chair, chair this with him. But yeah, we think you are a proto God, which was the one that stole the flame from.
Bitch (:Maury Povich says you are the father!
Jerk (:Olympia so people could have fire again.
Bitch (:Yeah, so before Greek gods came before the came, you know, they came a lot. So before the Greek gods, there were the Titans and then that's how you had the battle, blah, blah. And then Prometheus was like, human beings are in the dark, they need fire. So I'm going to steal this. And so that's Prometheus and Sam figured all of us out all in his little own some by Googling.
Jerk (:They did. Yes.
Jerk (:And then Zeus was pissed that Prometheus stole the fire, so Zeus strapped him to the mountain to relive death every day.
Bitch (:and have his liver eaten by an eagle. I wonder if it was the same eagle, like he was just like, la la, like did he get to know him? And it's just like, hey eagle friend, cause I think Ira get to know it, like he must be like, it was time for your lunch.
Jerk (:Chris.
Jerk (:Eagle lunch. And so they're like, so that goes that, you know, safe to bet that the woman that snuck in the motel was Artemis, who's his daughter.
Bitch (:me.
Bitch (:Artemis! Zeus' daughter and she's known to carry around daggers!
Jerk (:Mm-hmm. So the salmon Dean get to explain to Shane While Haley's there that Well, she's not there at this point, but she's around to explain to Shane that by the way, you're a Titan named Prometheus and He's like well, I need even more reason for me to go away and then like what the fuck you've got a kid What are you talking about?
Bitch (:Also the way that they explain it to him, he's like, look at this website. According to this website, you're Prometheus. It's like, you're a very trusting man, Shane. Because I don't know if I met like two crazy dudes who said they were FBI agents and then like weren't and they like had me in a cabin and then they were like, look at this web page.
Jerk (:No, I wouldn't be commenting to you.
Bitch (:Yeah, I mean, I guess like he's like fair, like he's been dying every day. And so he's probably open for a lot, but anyhow.
Jerk (:I mean, he's got, he knows something's weird. So I mean, probably taken a lot and, you know, with a great assault. So either way, now Haley comes running in and she's got a bloody, bloody Oliver who fell and she puts him on the bed and says, don't call an ambulance. Because he's dying.
Bitch (:Oh no, he's bloody. I was like, he's dying. He has the curse. I was like, oh no, Oliver got his period. So, they get back to the bunker. And I will just say, I went to Google Maps. Livingston, Montana is a 14 hour drive from Lebanon, Kansas. So did they... What? Did like the titan like... Bloop them?
Jerk (:Nooo
Jerk (:Oof. That felt long.
Bitch (:Like how? Because like Oliver is just like still dead and just like they throw up his child. Or did someone drive like 14 hours with the body of a little boy?
Jerk (:And they might have just propped it up like in the backseat between Shane and Haley, right?
Bitch (:Does he start to smell? But also, if you get pulled over, how do you explain this body of a dead boy?
Jerk (:I don't think so. It's not I mean that they're coming back. I doubt it He's asleep
Bitch (:Anyways, okay, so they're at the bug group.
Jerk (:And Haley's like, what the fuck is this curse you're talking about? I want to know what's going on. And this started when he turned seven and then he also stopped talking. Well, yeah, because he's fucking traumatized. Duh. But anyways.
Bitch (:Yeah, if I started dying every day, I would stop talking. And Sam also points out that seven is the age that boys begin their manhood and grace. Well, not grace, but also, it's not good.
Jerk (:Ancient Greece, not now, not current Greece.
Jerk (:So Haley apologizes to Prometheus and wants to know what the curse is all about. So Sam and Dean start kind of trying to explain it all and she is like, this all sounds fucking crazy. You're telling me that he's like some like pre-Greek god that got cursed and now my son's cursed? The fuck. But Dean's like, no. It's like whatever way, whatever, we'll do anything. I'll believe you. Yeah.
Bitch (:But also her son's dying every day and waking up, so she's kind of like... Yeah.
Jerk (:So Dean's like, yeah, so we're going to summon Zeus. We're going to work him over until he undoes it. And if he doesn't undo the curse, we'll just take him out and hope the curse dies with him.
Bitch (:Which I feel that means that like, and we know that Dean has read somewhat into Greek literature, like based on things he said, but I'm like, you remember Zeus, right? Like, so you're just gonna summon him and torture him. I'm like, you think highly of yourself, Mr. Winchester. You sure do.
Jerk (:He's kind of a big deal.
Jerk (:Hold that. So Oliver wakes up though, because he ain't really dead, we know. And in the meantime, Prometheus is like, all right, I'm gonna help y'all, let's do this. And so they start doing their research on how to summon Zeus.
Bitch (:Yeah, and I feel like Dean is reading Greek. They keep showing a book with like, I'm like, so you are, Dean's like, so should be like, is such a man of letters now that he knows Greek, like, okay, good for you. But also like, look at all these books that they have in the middle of the bunker that are helping them.
Jerk (:I don't believe that.
Jerk (:It's a very helpful bunker.
Bitch (:Yeah, I'm very excited. I went on with books. I know. This is... You know... You know, when my therapist, like we have, like, during group things, she's like, go to a happy place. I go to the bunker a lot.
Jerk (:I know you do. I know you wanna, Liz wants to live in the bunker, I know.
Bitch (:So, alright, so they hit the books, the intern Greeks, and he's also just drinking a fuck ton of whiskey again, just like, but it's in a nice cup. And we learn that dragon penis is the answer.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm. Like you do.
Jerk (:Yeah, dragon penis is the answer, which is just a terrible translation of a Greek name of a warrior.
Bitch (:Yes, it's Dracos, which is, you know, someone likes the name Dracos, I think. So, but it just means a dragon's son, but I like it as dragon penis. So I will say it means dragon penis.
Jerk (:And so they're going to read more into this story, but basically this warrior had a journal that the men of letters were able to translate. And this warrior had Lord Zeus with frozen energy from the hand of Zeus and a tree hit by lightning and the bone of a worshiper.
Bitch (:Right. And so Dean is like, yes, this is the men of letters, a secret society. This is their lair, we're legacies. And that is exactly how I would look. If you were in my bunker, I'm like, these are my books. I am the legacy of a secret society. Like, fuck yeah. Like I am like on like this Dean Winchester's page. Then like before we even get to like.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm. He's all braggy now. Mm-hmm.
Bitch (:Haley's explanation of fulgarite, we recall once again that Reese Witherspoon should have been asked because this is the whole premise of Sweet Home Alabama that you make fulgarite by lightning hitting sand.
Jerk (:Well, they're like, Sam's gonna go find, Sam found a Greek pagan group that's two towns over and they've got their cemetery and obituary information. So.
Bitch (:Damn it, I didn't try to Google that. I wanted to know what happens. How do you find that on the internet?
Jerk (:So Sam and Prometheus are gonna go dig up a bone while Dean and Haley are gonna do the B&E. And that's where he's like, yeah, we gotta go steal this fulgarite. And she's like, this is like readily available, man. They make cheap new age jewelry out of this. Or make a really lovely scene at the end of Sweet Hell.
Bitch (:Yeah, they're gonna bone.
Bitch (:Yeah, you just go to like, but...
Bitch (:Yes, yes.
Jerk (:I like that movie, it's fun. Anyways.
Bitch (:So we go to Sam and his happy place digging.
Jerk (:Dang it up a grave. And Prometheus is like, Why are you all even helping me? This isn't even your problem. And Sam's like, Well, you risked your life to steal fire for humankind. Was that you know, if that was worth it, you'd be for you to save the world. Then it's worth it for me to do this.
Bitch (:Yeah, yeah, you stole fire for humans, but it's nothing if I can't save your son. You can't. And then we go to Dean and Haley driving where there's much explanation over Zeus's natural friend.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Jerk (:Yeah, he's like, look, I know this all seems really risky, but we've done stuff like this before. And you know, and she seems concerned that about it all and just kind of in disbelief. And like, why don't we just like ask him to save my son? And Dean's like, no, it's not gonna work, not gonna work.
Bitch (:Well, I mean, this is like, you're the common sense. It would you would think like, would you want to curse a little boy to die over and over again? And like, clearly, no ban would do that. I'm like, did you not read any like Greek? Like you missed all that misclass of like him being like a rapey creepster, like turning into birds to fuck people like you can't trust that man like.
Jerk (:Hmm.
Bitch (:Haley, what are you thinking? But anyways, and also Zeus's like, so they go to they go to Diana's favorite, we need to get a sound effect for this warehouse. So we go to like, their favorite place is some in Zeus, who sadly not Russell Crowe in a tiny skirt. He was now my favorite Zeus. Is that your favorite Zeus? Yeah.
Jerk (:Where are they going? Where do they go next? Where's our next scene?
You bet.
Jerk (:It is not Russell Cronos script. No, probably now. Yeah, I bet so. So we've got a lot of lightning and a man in a suit appears and in a trap and Dean's like, hey, which, by the way, what is this? What is this God trap thing? I don't remember.
Bitch (:It's a trap!
Bitch (:They've learned how to like, not only did we learn how to devil's trap. So, um, yeah, now the same thing. So when you summon, so like you can summon a demon. Now we have learned that we can summon gods. And now he's stuck in his God trap.
Jerk (:We've got a God trap. Okay.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Jerk (:Right. And trap them. Well, Dean's like, hey, you need to break this curse on this kid and then we can all go home. So and Zeus is not Zeus is not going to let Dean run the show. That is not Zeus's vibe. So.
Bitch (:Uh-uh. And he's super stoked about what he's learning. He's just like, what? What's happened?
Jerk (:Yeah, and everybody, he's like, wait, what? I was torturing Prometheus and now his son is being tortured too? This is even better. It's two for the price of one. I've been looking for, you know, I've been looking for Prometheus. And there you go. This is even better. And they're all like, the fuck? And yeah, it's just not good. So Zeus is like, yeah, if you break the trap, I'll break the curse. And Dean's like, no dice, sorry.
Bitch (:This is fantastic!
Jerk (:And so they get this whole like standoff going once, going twice. And Dean's like, fuck it. He's ready to call the bluff and leave. He's leaving. I do. It's so fucking baller. Appreciate that.
Bitch (:Like deuces! And I do love this, like walking away. It was like, all this like hot dudes, just like, we're just walking away from you. And then, you dumb bitch.
Jerk (:But Haley doesn't understand and I understand that she, she doesn't understand what they're doing. And I understand that she is trying to save her son. However, she's like, no, she's like, no, he's appeal. Zeus is appealing to her and she's finally caves and she goes and breaks the trap. So, um, Zeus zaps Sam Dean and Prometheus. Zapped.
Bitch (:Haley...
Bitch (:Zap, zap, zap. He's free. Zap, zap, zap. And then, my nose sounds so dirty. When Sam and Dean try and take him from behind, here comes Artemis.
Jerk (:Yeah, so and she flings and pins them to the wall. And while that's happening, as is explained to Artemis, what's going on and cause it a happy accident that now not only have they found Prometheus, but also Prometheus has a son who is suffering the same torture.
Bitch (:Yeah, and his creep level is like times 5,000 hundredth to infinity. It's so gross. So gross. And he's just like so into the fact that crew media saw his kid die. He's just like, that's high. But also only like watching like a thousand children dying in unison are going to equal my pain of you stealing my. I mean, it was just like I did not go back to look this up because I didn't have time, but.
Jerk (:It's awful. It is gross.
Jerk (:sour.
Bitch (:like he stole fire like he didn't like so your baby Zeus like fuck you like also like fuck Zeus a lot all right Zeus is very patriarchal to me so like I say fuck you Zeus a lot
Jerk (:Yeah.
They stole your pride? Like whatever. Like well, fucking douche.
Jerk (:Well, either way, so he's like inflicting pain on Prometheus. He's got Haley like choking out and can't talk. We've got Zeus now talking to Oliver and telling, you know, calling Artemis over and tells Artemis to take Sam and Dean somewhere. It's weird. I don't really get where they're going. But so she walks away with Sam and Dean and.
Bitch (:Okay, yeah. So she's walking away with Sam and Dean and why like, why don't they just kill them there? Like, why are we doing this James Bond shit of like, the villain is going to take you down. So but they said, like, while they're going down, like, see, I know something. So while they're walking down this hallway, Sam starts talking about how
she is the goddess that hunters worshiped. And Dean's like, oh, well, that's all fascinating things. But one of the things that he doesn't mention is that she is the equivalent of the Roman goddess Diana. So that is Diana's name. And so one of the things that this goddess tends to do is that in art,
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Bitch (:She is just out there and just loving her life. She, she is just living and sometimes she's just bearing all of herself for humanity, for the hunters and all the world. So we are going to, in the spirit of Artemis and Diana, we are going to share, we're going to play a game.
that I am calling dim titties. I'm not sure. Or put them away, Diana. And so I am going to share with you the description of a work of art that is in the MAP Museum that is representational of the goddess Diana.
Jerk (:Oh, fuck.
Bitch (:I am going to read Diana, she also has them available to her on the slide deck, to her with these descriptions that the Mets say. And then Diana is going to have to determine if this artistic representation is chased and is covered is.
t. It is he was German, circa: Jerk (:Okay.
Jerk (:Sure.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Bitch (:And so I want you to pay attention to the classification. It is a miniature, so it's tiny, so tiny. It is two and seven eighths by two and one quarter inches. So born in Berlin, Thien Pont took up miniature painting in 1751. He later settled in Warsaw, where he was much sought after as a miniaturist in enamel, and he died there.
the same hand, perhaps about: Jerk (:Hmm.
Bitch (:The attribution to Carl Friedrich Theendpont was made by Hermione Waterfield in 1978. It was left in there because of her name. This was an unpublished opinion in Department of European Paintings files. I love this. These two enamels are characterized by an elaborate pointillier. I don't speak pointillier, I don't know what that is in French. So it's a pointy technique. It's a pointy technique. And so like it has little dots, you know.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:pointillism in which the smallest dots model the flesh tones and the largest give an overall texture to the background. A very bright pink is used for emphatic highlights. They are fine examples of German rococo style and taste. So we have all these thoughts. All right, so we got some pointiness. It's tiny. They're very tiny. They're very tiny. It's barely three inches tall. And so is she, is she, is she getting beads?
Jerk (:Hmm
Bitch (:Or she chased. What's she doing?
Jerk (:I'm gonna go with beads. I think she's all out. Boom.
Bitch (:They are they're very tiny boobs Because it's a very tiny painting But yes, they are all out there and she has a little like I like her little she's a little moonbeam Like Sailor Moon. Yeah So Carl Fried rock like letter let Diana rock you also like her eyes are very anime like I feel like yeah Yeah, all right you're for next one
Jerk (:Moon crown no moon crown. Yeah, very Sailor Moon
Jerk (:They are. It's like pre-anime.
share.
Bitch (:All right, Diana and Cupid. So this artist, Pompeo, but Tony, he was Italian. This is an oil on canvas. This is much bigger. This is 49 by 68 inches. So that's taller than me. Is this taller than you? It's not, it's not. But yeah, that is.
Jerk (:That's much better.
Jerk (:No. Yeah.
Bitch (:Yeah, that was eight inches taller than me. Okay. So Sir Humphrey Maurice, 1723 to 1785, son of a wealthy merchant, merchant and director of the Bank of England, oh my God, director of the Bank of England, commissioned this image of the goddess of hunting and hung as a pendant or companion piece to Botony's portrait of Maurice.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm
Bitch (:reclining in the Krohman countryside next to his dog's rifle and dead game like you do you know these are all the dead things next to me sexy. Together the works contrast modern and ancient Rome. Diana's distinctive pose is based on a famous ancient statue of the sleeping Cretan princess Eradmi?
Jerk (:Okay.
Bitch (:But Tony inserts a literal tension into this otherwise stay in composition with this elegantly lifted bow, which Diana withholds from Cupid. All right, so Diana and Cupid by Pompeo, but don't the Italian 1761 oil on canvas. It's huge.
Jerk (:flirty one out. Oh. I mean, technically.
Bitch (:One out.
Wait, wait, they're away.
I would say that's one out like so for those of you who are almost posies so this scene is classic of Diana she's got a bow that she's like haha you little naked cupid you can't get it for me and she's got a dog that's like I want the bow and she's got it. The title is covering one of the titties which I think is clearly out the second titty I
Jerk (:My bow, yeah.
Jerk (:The child's head is covering the one that's out. Or Cupid's head, excuse me. Yeah. All right, if you look close, you might see some nip. You have to zoom.
Bitch (:You can argue that is be like going through the gauze the gauze. I will say one. We'll say one. I agree. Yeah Well, okay All right, so diana with a hound But bartholomew Ah france is france. There was 1603 to 11. So that's all time to paint something
Jerk (:out.
Bitch (:So he executed, yeah, this is a sculpture. It is bronze, it is, it is tiny, it's eight and three-eighths inches. So it's not even gonna fit. So it's a tiny gross, tiny gross. So he executed a Diana with stag for the fountain of Diana at the Chateau de Fontainebleau. And four stag heads and four alert hounds by Pierre adorned its pedestal.
Jerk (:It's a sculpture.
Jerk (:personal.
Bitch (:It is possible that the present model is a conflation of these efforts and a nod toward the ancient marble known as the Diana of Versailles. Did you know you have a marble? You have a marble. That's very cool. All right. When we get super rich, like fuck off money, we'll figure out what that marble is and we'll make something out of it. Okay. So Diana with a hound. The hound.
Jerk (:Hmm.
Jerk (:I don't know about my marble.
Jerk (:I'm gonna just roll the dice on this one and say chased.
Bitch (:So this is one out.
Jerk (:Yeah, but no, look, her arm is a sleeve on that arm. Her she's covered. She's covered on both arms. No, but look, but over to the side of that, you see sleeve on that arm. Other side. Look, there's sleeve on that side, but she's got a sleeve. Go to the one on the right. She's got sleeve right there folded. She's covered. An arm band. Damn it.
Bitch (:Yeah, so it's one out. No, this one's, this is a teddy. I think that's a teddy.
Yeah, this is the other side. That's this right here. That's right here.
Bitch (:No, that's her. I think that's like just a thing wrapped around her arm. Yeah, she got one out. And also her dog is amazing. I love this town. So I picked this one. By the way, there's like 1600 things in the Met of Diana. Like, there's a lot to pick from. If you just go search through that, you're very famous. But I really like this dog. I thought this dog was very reminiscent of like where red fern grows, bloodhounds are just like in general, like it looks like a very good boy or girl. We don't know what the hound is.
Jerk (:Here's a kid hound.
Jerk (:He does look like a good little hound.
Bitch (:Yeah, but also I feel like the sculpture is skanking. She is like one arm up and one arm down, so she does.
Jerk (:She does. She looks like she's about to like make a pass through the circle pit.
Bitch (:Yeah, like I feel yeah, she she's very much she's in it like she's in it to win it and you know She just put like one away or this is also particularly like maybe like I don't know I feel like that's a titty. I would say that she could have cut one off, but it's like a very weird machine get weird titty I don't know. So anyways, but kudos on the hound
Jerk (:Ah!
Bitch (:All right, so this is gonna lie a text in it. And like, so, but there's a reason. All right, so this is Diana and the Stag. It's by Joaquin Free circa, circa 1620. And it's an automata, which is, you know, like an automaton, it's a machine that moves by itself. It was 1620. So those like, those things are really fun. And so there's two of them, right? And so this one, we're gonna talk about the one that belongs to the map, but there's one that belongs to Gale.
Jerk (:Ooh, yeah.
Jerk (:I'm excited.
Bitch (:And so like Yale has one and the Met has the other and they both depict Diana, goddess of the moon and the hunt, who was able to communicate with and command wild animals. Did you know you could do that? Have you tried?
Jerk (:Mm-hmm. No. Yes, but it doesn't work. I mean, I tried to talk to cats as a child. I know. Mow.
Bitch (:Yeah. So her power to control beasts is underlined in both objects as her chariot of conflict is a conflation of a throne and a coach. And so in the so in the Yale one, she's her like coaches being pulled by leopards, right? And then in the one at the Met, there is like she's on top of this large stack, right? And so she's like straddling a stack.
Both of these automata were likely used as a part of drinking games at friendsly festivities. Yes, so...
Jerk (:What? That's amazing.
Bitch (:the goddess in the Yale collection would have driven her chariot across the table. So this is like, imagine this is a 1600s witchcraft. So this thing is like, how fun is this? That part I would have us at a party now. So like you turn her on and she drives her chariot across the table and her animal companions, like, so the Leopards are animated and her eyes are moving back and forth and there's a ticking of a clock that's in the throat, right?
Jerk (:Magic.
Yeah.
Bitch (:And then she shoots her aerial arrow right at the chariot stop and the guest in front of which he stops has to finish their drink. So that's drinking game. But in the Mets example, that would have itself contained the drink because the stag's body is hollow. So this deer is like open and there's like, so they put the booze in there and his head is removable.
Jerk (:Oh, that's hilarious.
Jerk (:Yeah.
Bitch (:So after the lavishly decorated automaton, which includes a few paste tones added in the late 19th century to appeal to contemporary Rothschild taste showed itself off to the table, the guests in front of which it stopped was obliged to empty the wine with the stag's body by tipping the back legs firmly and lifting it off the base and sucking the wine from the stag.
So Diana is sitting on top of the one, we're only talking about the one. So it's Diana on top of the deer, and you take the deer's head off and you drink from it.
Jerk (:and drink. If I'm riding around on a deer, I'm going to guess my titties are out.
Bitch (:I have a fair assumption. And yeah, I say both titties are out. I think they have, we got that zoom in there, but you are majestic. It's really cool. Like you've got like this arrow that pumps up and down like the deer's, and you've got like a dog that's underneath the deer. And how fun would it have been to like have this?
Jerk (:It is.
Bitch (:There's a tiki bar in LA and they've got like the Toro bowl and like so like when we were the drink is like the bowl goes like going across the bar. That's what this reminds me of. And I feel like these people do have a party.
Jerk (:amazing yeah I agree
Bitch (:Maybe our last one's on the last one, like the last one, right? Madame Begirre de Fauville as Diana. So this is Jean Marc Mathier, French, 1756. Diana, goddess of the hunt, was a model of female virtue and power, but she was also often eroticized, surrounded by her nymphs bathing in the forest.
Natia used her disguise, portraying many of his female sitters, layering contemporary hairstyles and makeup with studio props, including the bow, quiver, and panther skin. Their words, not mine.
Jerk (:Hmm.
Bitch (:Panther skin, so we know this is for Diana. But also I feel like this is like the Instagram like, or like the selfie like station of the time. Like come sit here, I'm gonna put you like, what, like you just, let's make you a Diana.
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Jerk (:Right?
Jerk (:Let me let me I won't. Yeah, let's see if I can do Diana. It's fine.
Bitch (:Here put this panther put this panther skin on. All right. And so this portrait is among the most accomplished examples of this means of elevating a work out of the everyday. It's art of this artifice and self conscious performativity are characteristic of a society steeped in theater and masquerade. We're titties out. I just like having that very one titty.
Jerk (:one.
Bitch (:All right. So remember she was eroticized. And so on a debate like whether or not I think they're covered.
Jerk (:Oh, I think they're covered too. I'm going to call it covered. We've got some, we got, I mean it's like teasing, but they're covered.
Bitch (:I think they're covered. Yeah, they're covered.
Yeah, I did send this picture to a friend today and was like, Look over there. Because she's pointing at something. I don't know the fuck she's pointing at. She's pointing at something. She's got a bow. Yeah, and they have like some multiple women posed with this fucking thing. They were just like, yeah, we know this is like the artist, like Panther Leopard skin, like I just imagine this at least Jean Marx, like a partner like comes. I will get ready to be painted and then like, yeah, like.
Jerk (:But it's not the direction she's looking. That's what's weird.
Jerk (:He's like, tie this on, sit still, here we go.
Bitch (:Sit still, look over there!
Jerk (:That's hilarious.
Bitch (:Okay, yep, that was the last one. So that was put them away. We'll see if we get banned from YouTube for that one. But
Jerk (:put them away.
Bitch (:Yes, this was inspired for those of you who don't have not heard of this story that while I was in DC a couple weeks ago and I was running through the National Gallery, I kept sending Diana pictures of statues of the goddess Diana with her boobs out and just ass-sizing her for... I mean, I shouldn't like if you want to have your titties out, have your titties out. There's titties. Or put them away.
Jerk (:Tell me to put them away.
Bitch (:Yeah, so back to our Winchesters and Artemis Diana and she has pinned them to the wall.
Jerk (:Because Sam is poking the bear. He is taunting her by saying like, yeah, you know, yeah, you're the huntress. Here we used to play for it, but no one really does anymore. And apparently you've lost your power. And in the meantime, Zeus wants to make up for the seven years that they couldn't find Prometheus. And so he's put his lightning hand into Prometheus' stomach and it looks very uncomfortable.
Bitch (:Womp
Bitch (:He's just, yeah, he's torturing him for funsies.
Jerk (:Mm hmm. But Sam just keeps talking shit to Artemis. He's like, yeah, you know, you couldn't even find Prometheus. Maybe you didn't want to, though. And he's like, yeah, you know, you know, Zeus is going to kill his kid. And and she's like, well, he'll come back just like, you know, whatever. And and Sam's just like, yeah, but, you know, you know that Prometheus is in love with you. He told us. And she's like, wait, what? I don't believe you, but she does.
Bitch (:Oh, what'd you hear? What'd he say? What'd he say? Did he text about me? Like, you know, did he look at me? Like, what would tell me everything now?
Jerk (:Yeah. And she's hears Prometheus yelling while he's being tortured. And she's like, no. And Sam's like, yeah, it's not the first time I know that it's not the first time that Prometheus escaped the mountain. You let him go. And as long as long as they could hide, you know, as long as you could continue to hide your tryst from Zeus. And she's like, whatever your brains mush, you're making this up. He's like, well, how would I know that? How would I know this? And.
Bitch (:How would I? He told me he loved your bangs. He was like, I cannot believe you can carry this shit off.
Jerk (:They look so good every day. And, and, and says that, you know, and Artemis is like, or Sam's like, yeah, you're afraid that, you know, Zeus would find out that you've, that, that Artemis fell in love with the person he hates most. So there we go. And, but the zombie article forced your hand. And so, you know, what are you going to do? Like, you're going to kill us and let your dad kill your, you know, your, keep like killing your lover and over and over again.
Bitch (:every day those bangs are perfect.
Jerk (:So they have tried to make a deep appeal to her better judgment and potential feelings for Prometheus.
Bitch (:Prometheus and those again like what this I do feel like okay, maybe you have read some of the Greek myths because there are times You know the lesser gods like not Zeus particularly, but the lesser gods and goddesses Do sometimes have their mortal or their other Pete like they think with their dicks and their pussies sometimes And so Sam's just like I was gonna play on this because I think that dude looks pretty hot He is Prometheus is really fucking hot
Jerk (:Mm-hmm.
Jerk (:He's a good looking guy. But so Zeus is asking Oliver. I thought, oh, that is whoa, baggage like that's a baggage carousel.
Bitch (:I'm not gonna take on that baggage. That's a lot of baggage, no thank you sir.
Bitch (:an eagle worth of baggage, eagle carrying. So anyways, so then we go to Zeus being like extra creepy.
Jerk (:That's it.
Jerk (:He's asking Oliver if he likes being immortal and like die every day, but nothing keeps you dead. It's just like taking a nap. So by the way, sleepy times, he's about to fucking kill this kid the fuck and Prometheus and Haley are watching, but they can't do anything about it. But luckily Artemis is there with her bow and arrow and she's like, this has to stop father.
Bitch (:And it would be cool if she had her puppy. I wish she had a puppy with her.
Jerk (:like.
Jerk (:And he's like, I'm doing this for us. It's Prometheus' fault that we aren't ruling the world anymore and everybody's forgotten about us.
Bitch (:It's like that is like Zeus get over yourself, right? Like how many, like how long ago was that? Like that had to be in one time ago, Mr. Zeus. Like, you know, like I think it's move on.
Jerk (:And yeah.
Jerk (:Well, Artemis is like, sorry, Zeus, you need to let everybody go. And he's like, no, you have to obey me. She's like, no, I'm you're not my father anymore. You're someone else now. And there we go. So she shoots her arrow. But Zeus grabs Prometheus and puts him in front of him. And so it hits Prometheus and Zeus is like, I never get tired of watching Prometheus die and that Oliver is going to go on that mountain with him.
Bitch (:Use the number shield!
Jerk (:And so Prometheus looks at Haley and Oliver and then pushes the arrow through him into Zeus. Oh! And I guess this is a magic arrow or something apparently. Yeah.
Bitch (:It's a god-killing arrow. It was not mentioned in any of the lore the rest of the episode, but yeah, apparently her arrow is god-killing. And hooray!
Jerk (:Yeah. Kills. There's a lot of lightning and yelling and then Zeus dies. But what that also means is that Prometheus is dead. She Artemis runs over and pulls out the arrow and is trying to hold hands with him. But then.
Bitch (:Yeah, and so like, I'm like, so what happens? Like, do you go to River Six? Or do you like, just go into nothingness? We don't know. But they dead.
Jerk (:And Zeus and Artemis just disappeared to nothing. They're gone. They poof. They poof out. So we go to nighttime in the woods where Dean is lighting his Zippo and they are setting a body on fire on the pirates. So this is now is our hunter's funeral for Prometheus. And Haley's like
pretty bummed about this whole thing. Yeah, she's very sad. Obviously, it makes sense. And then Sam is talking to Oliver, he's like, maybe we should go get some ice cream. But Oliver actually answers and he speaks for the first time in however long since he's turned seven years old. And he's like, No, I want to stay. So
Bitch (:She's sad.
Bitch (:Yeah, so kids like, I don't think I'm going to die every day anymore. This sounds great. But also I don't want ice cream. The fuck is wrong with this child? Obviously clearly it's going to be some, but there's going to be some issues. Cause the first thing you say is, you don't want ice cream. I don't understand. Yeah. So then I guess like this just all resolves itself and they do something. We don't know what happened to them.
Jerk (:Weird, weird kid.
Jerk (:Very odd.
Jerk (:I mean, so Dean's like, how did you know that Artemis had the hots for Hermetheus? Sam's like, I don't know, it's just intuition and luck, I guess. And then we're going to pivot very quickly into talking back about the trials.
Bitch (:Well, I mean, yeah, but it's also like, so they just drive away. Like we don't like resolve what happens to, we're just a baby. Like we're already gone.
Jerk (:Go to sleep.
Jerk (:He's fine. Everybody's fine. Move on. It's closed. It's over. Zeus is dead. Seems like big news. No big. Yeah. Well, there was like some minivan in the woods and then they're back in baby.
Bitch (:Okay, bye.
Bitch (:Haley had her own ride. Haley and Oliver followed them, so we're good.
Bitch (:Okay, sure. Yep. And Sam is like almost trying to be like, almost trying to come clean about his, his gingivitis.
Jerk (:I don't know. Meh.
Jerk (:have struggles. Yeah, he's like, maybe I was a little naive to think that I could just will myself into coming out of these trials unscathed. And Dean like, Nope, not going to do the emo crap. You're not going to die like Prometheus. And Sam's like, yeah, but we've known all these people that died and like list them. And Dean's like, Nope, you promised that you would live a long life and die from something normal, like a heart attack. So you're
Bitch (:Yeah, so, you know, so get that cardiac arrest by gnawing on this delicious, delicious burger, which I'm assuming has cheese and bacon on it. It's really yummy. So then we go back to the bunker. So now we've driven 14 hours. God, baby smells bad. And so.
Jerk (:Well, Dean is going to Dean's alone in his room and he tries to talk to, reach out to Cassiel and he's not a praying type, but he Right, but he needs Cass to hear what he's saying about Sam, what he's asking about Sam and they're going into the trials blind. He knows that Sam is hurt and covering it, but he needs
Bitch (:Because he thinks praying is like begging.
Jerk (:cast to keep a lookout for Sam and then wonders where Cass is.
Bitch (:Where are you man? Look at my little bro. Where is Destiel? So lonely without you. Benny's over. Come back Cass. So do we have some casting notes?
Jerk (:We do. So Haley was played by Brook Langton. You may have seen her in episodes of 90210 Baywatch Party of Five Weeds Bones. She is also Nikki in the movie Swingers. She is Samantha in Melrose Place, which for over 60 episodes. Annabelle in the Replacements, which I just mentioned because it's a football movie in this episode. There we go. She was Jackie in Friday Night Lights. Another football reference. And
And then she was also interestingly, while her a lot of her roles are not necessarily comedic, she's a member of Upright Citizens Brigade and Second City. That was cool. Shane slash Prometheus was played by John Reardon. He was in a few episodes of True Calling with Eliza Dushku. He was Heath in the movie White Chicks, Jeremiah in Scary Movie 4.
Bitch (:Thanks for watching!
Jerk (:He was a performance double in Tron Legacy, Dr. Hansen and the Van Helsing for a handful of episodes, and quite a few Hallmark movies. Artemis was played by Anna Van Hoft, and she's been in episodes of CSI.
Bitch (:crochet I said a banner name to have those bangs
Jerk (:Yeah, that makes sense, the tracks. CSI, Fringe, Arrow, she was in multiple episodes of Fringe. Arrow altered Carbon a few times. She was in an episode of Riverdale. She had a tiny bit part in The Wicker Man. She was Elf Mary in the movie Noel, the one with Anna Kendrick. And she has done quite a few Hallmark Christmas films, like quite a few.
Zeus was played by John Novak. He's, his career goes, he's been in a lot of things. But a couple key points would be he was in shows like TNT as in the Mr. T Show, 21 Jump Street, MacGyver, Kung Fu in the 90s, Smallville. He was a, a djinn in Wishmaster movies three and four.
That's not as funny. He's Captain Andrews in the movie War, James in Legend of the Fall, and has done quite a large amount of comic voice, voice work for comics, and cartoons, and anime.
As one last person I'd like to mention is our driver from the beginning, our terrible person, is Jason Burkhart played that role. He's been in a lot of stuff as well, episodes of Once Upon a Time, Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. He was, well, I say Once Upon a Time in Wonderland and Once Upon a Time, he was Little John, which is a reoccurring character. He's been in Arrow, a series of unfortunate events, Charmed, Last of Us, Grease, Rise of the Pink Ladies, and Animal Control. And he was the stink monster in The Magicians.
Bitch (:Yeah, it was a good group. I think it was pretty strong. Like, ensemble.
Jerk (:Yeah, it was. It was an interesting story, too. I think, um, I don't know, we all let you, I'll let you share first. What do you think?
Bitch (:I again, like last week's episode, I feel like we're kind of almost searching for this mythology that because we're not you know, we had so much like Judeo Christian stuff to reach through the apocalypse and all these things. And so now that we don't have that we're kind of waiting for like, what's coming down the trials, I feel like we're kind of like searching for like what's
Jerk (:Oh yeah.
Bitch (:Who are our enemies? Like, what are we doing? Like, okay, like, let's have some random gods in here. Like, let's pull Zeus in, you know, like, but I still feel like it's a good it was an interesting episode. I like the characters.
Jerk (:Yeah, I agree. I think like, like you said for last week, I feel like the lore was stretched and or incomplete. However, and we can bitch about that and poke holes in that and make fun of that. But that didn't make it a bad episode. It was still enjoyable. It was good characters in general, and a good storyline. So it's hard to complain about it. I'm not going to be like, this is the best one ever, but I'm not like
Why do we even watch this? No, it was entertaining. And that's all you can ask for sometimes. And I don't, you know, it obviously wasn't a strong driver for the ongoing trials concept because we like, always we had a couple, you know, we tied that in at the very beginning, the very end, but that's it. So, yeah.
Bitch (:You're not mad at it.
Bitch (:Yeah, which is you can't even sometimes this happens in episode 16 dish
Jerk (:Yeah, you get kind of a lull in the...
Bitch (:We're kind of mid season and we're like, okay, how do we stretch this? How do we get to the end of the season while like, making this work? So I don't know. But anything else?
Jerk (:Mm-mm, that's all I got.
Bitch (:All right, there we go. Chair's jerk.
Jerk (:Cheers, bitch.
