6:16 And Then There Were None

Jerk:

Welcome to this week's episode of Devil's Trap podcast. I'm Diana.

Bitch:

And I'm Liz.

Jerk:

And this week we're talking season six, episode 16, and then there were none.

Bitch:

There were none. there were none who wanted to watch this episode again and then remain too.

Jerk:

It's your favorite.

Bitch:

Yeah, my favorite. Ah,

Jerk:

What was last

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

week?

Bitch:

So before we get into that, I think, you know, and I just addressed, so top news of the world is that the

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

Winchesters were cancelled.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

But they're

Bitch:

they're,

Jerk:

shopping it.

Bitch:

they're shopping it, and but they, they, you know, they need the fandom to come together. So, you know, be tweeting your hashtag save the Winchesters on all your social media platforms, whatever you choose to use.

Jerk:

for sure.

Bitch:

For sure, oh

Jerk:

For

Bitch:

my god.

Jerk:

sure.

Bitch:

So that reminds me, did you watch the Muppets yet?

Jerk:

I watched the first episode and loved it.

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

It's what's

Bitch:

they're,

Jerk:

it called? Mayhem, right? And that's what

Bitch:

yeah,

Jerk:

they're

Bitch:

it's

Jerk:

calling

Bitch:

Muppets

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

Mayhem and

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

it is

Jerk:

Dr.

Bitch:

about

Jerk:

Teeth and the Electrode

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

Mayhem.

Bitch:

electric mayhem. So it's all about the band. And shockingly,

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

I don't care as well about this, but there's like really not any other Muppet characters, right? There's a few things, but like it's really just the band and they took the bold move of giving them legs.

Jerk:

Yeah, they have legs. They dance and do things from their legs and walk

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

an

Jerk:

stuff.

Bitch:

amazing puppet work, but it

Jerk:

It really

Bitch:

creeped

Jerk:

is.

Bitch:

me out. I don't know. I think I preferred it when they were just like, you know, the torso

Jerk:

Waste up.

Bitch:

puppets.

Jerk:

Now, super enjoyable. I'm very excited to see what happens. We just saw only watched the first episode and the cameos are insane. So

Bitch:

The cameos

Jerk:

if you are a Muppet

Bitch:

are fucking

Jerk:

fan,

Bitch:

nuts.

Jerk:

awesome.

Bitch:

Like, I don't understand. Like, it's...

Jerk:

So good. But everybody loves the goddamn Muppets. How do you do? I mean, what the fuck? Of course.

Bitch:

I'm pretty sure they just go, do you want to be in the Muppets? And they're like, duh.

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

And that's

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

everybody's

Jerk:

who

Bitch:

response.

Jerk:

says no? Like,

Bitch:

Right?

Jerk:

it's

Bitch:

Like,

Jerk:

muppets.

Bitch:

what kind of monster would say no?

Jerk:

Yeah, no, the first episode were hooked. Babe and I watched it, I think last night. Maybe, I don't know. Last night or the day before and really, really, really enjoyed it. So I'm excited to have a new show to watch. It's on Disney streaming if you have that. And yeah,

Bitch:

Yep,

Jerk:

super

Bitch:

so,

Jerk:

fun so far.

Bitch:

you know, I really enjoyed that. That was, you know, kind of the highlight of my weekend.

Jerk:

It was a nice break from my marathoning of Married at First Sight from last year, which is what I've been watching, binging lately.

Bitch:

No, poor thing.

Jerk:

Quality trash television. Yay.

Bitch:

Yeah, I mean, well, the writers as of this recording, the writer's

Jerk:

Rider

Bitch:

strike

Jerk:

Strike.

Bitch:

is still going on.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Um, so hopefully that gets resolved soon. Pay them what you owe them. And also, you know, fuck AI. So

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

that's

Jerk:

I agree with that part. Fuck AI.

Bitch:

So hopefully, you know, things go the way they should and that because, you know, we didn't get to see Pete Davidson in Saturday Night Live. Like, I wanted like, so that'll never happen.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

But first, it like took me a while to like figure out what the fuck was going on. I felt like such an idiot. It was like, what the hell? Like, wasn't Pete, I was like, was Pete Davidson, did he fuck up? Like that was my first thought. That Pete Davidson fucked

Jerk:

Got in trouble

Bitch:

up.

Jerk:

and got

Bitch:

Like.

Jerk:

cancel

Bitch:

We're

Jerk:

the episode

Bitch:

like, gotten

Jerk:

because

Bitch:

too

Jerk:

he got in

Bitch:

drunk

Jerk:

trouble.

Bitch:

to like do it or like something like something happened and you like they couldn't show it

Jerk:

You see, was he fucking some new girlfriend? I'm just kidding.

Bitch:

Or is something, I don't know.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

And then I was like, oh,

Jerk:

Rider

Bitch:

Rider

Jerk:

Strike.

Bitch:

Strike.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

So there's no new that, there's new, like there's just no new television. And I'm

Jerk:

Unless

Bitch:

wanting

Jerk:

it's

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

already

Bitch:

to.

Jerk:

been shot, which it looks like what

Bitch:

I'm already running out of things.

Jerk:

we, what we do in shadows comes back in July, I think. June or July, and it looks like that's already, I saw a promo for it the other day, so that's good news.

Bitch:

The promos are out? Oh my God,

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

immediately.

Jerk:

saw me. I don't know if it's a I don't know if it was I don't remember if it was a video. It was just like a picture. But yeah.

Bitch:

Okay, now

Jerk:

And then

Bitch:

I'm immediately gonna go search for new trailers.

Jerk:

And then, yeah, I don't know. That's all I got.

Bitch:

I'm very excited this weekend is the psychic fair in San Antonio and that will be at the Black Swan in Friday and Saturday night. Well, it's Saturday and then Friday if you have VIP because...

Jerk:

Of course you do. Duh.

Bitch:

But with the VIP, well, the reason I haven't had these tickets for a while is because I saw the Austin seance was going to be there and they're doing a psychic investigation on Friday. So that you get that with the VIP tickets and it's not that much. So you basically get an extra day like at the end and I'm pretty excited to see this place.

Jerk:

I like their packing list, which included bug spray and whatever, um, investigative equipment you could bring. So we don't forget your bug spray or EMF reader.

Bitch:

Right. So, you know, your DEET and your EMF. So, Lucino.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

So I can't wait. That's Friday. And then Saturday, you know, there are going to be a whole bunch of lectures and things that people like Austin say us and Mama Moon. And like, I just I can't wait. I don't think he's any Mama Moon. I don't know. There's a bunch of psychics are going to be there. And there's going to be a fair. And also, I love the fact that Saturday doesn't start until like four. And then it ends

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

up like 11.

Jerk:

so you can go do stuff during the day, like sleep.

Bitch:

Or witches don't want to get up before you, or like, oh, we are creatures of the night. That's what I think.

Jerk:

creatures of the night.

Bitch:

Creatures of the night. I also got very excited looking at their event calendar. There is like a masquerade there. There's

Jerk:

Oh wow.

Bitch:

like all sorts of fun stuff. So I'm pretty

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

excited

Jerk:

cool.

Bitch:

to go check this place out. So

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

that's this weekend at the same time. You also got to do something really fun last week.

Jerk:

I did we went to well I did a couple things I think were real fun so I babe and I went to the Dolly Parton all access pop up shop in Frisco because the Academy of country music awards were in Frisco Texas. Last week last Thursday and with that

Bitch:

It does

Jerk:

with Dolly

Bitch:

go

Jerk:

Parton

Bitch:

on.

Jerk:

yeah there's right yeah they went through that was Thursday

Bitch:

Oh, okay.

Jerk:

night. They occurred and then that was Thursday night and then, um, with Garth Brooks and Dolly Parton hosting. So Dolly Parton for the first time ever, from my understanding, set up a pop up shop at, in one of the storefronts. And it was only open from like Tuesday or Wednesday through Sunday. Um, and it was really in heavy promo of her new rock star album, but they also, they had, you know, a bunch of her dresses from different eras on display. They had a full

Bitch:

They had

Jerk:

on car.

Bitch:

an eye patch?

Jerk:

Yeah, she's wearing

Bitch:

What

Jerk:

an eye

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

patch

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

and some

Bitch:

eye

Jerk:

of her

Bitch:

patch

Jerk:

promo.

Bitch:

from?

Jerk:

It's from the Rockstar promo. She's using she's done some of the promo videos. Videos. Yeah,

Bitch:

So in

Jerk:

her

Bitch:

some

Jerk:

photos.

Bitch:

of her videos she just has an eye patch.

Jerk:

Well, I don't know if it's video, excuse me. Promo photos for the Rockstar album. She's wearing a black eye patch and some of them that she had like a star. I don't know.

Bitch:

I mean

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

as

Jerk:

Dolly Parton,

Bitch:

bitching

Jerk:

she can do whatever

Bitch:

that

Jerk:

the fuck she

Bitch:

she

Jerk:

wants.

Bitch:

can do what the fuck she wants. That is just like I didn't know that I could just use an eye patch as an accessory

Jerk:

As an accessory,

Bitch:

whatever I wanted to.

Jerk:

I mean, it seems like it'd be really annoying. You have to work on your depth perception real hard.

Bitch:

Right?

Jerk:

But,

Bitch:

Like...

Jerk:

but

Bitch:

But then he only

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

had to do makeup on one eye!

Jerk:

That's true. You'd have to make a match. But they had like a full

Bitch:

You know,

Jerk:

on car, it

Bitch:

that's

Jerk:

was a

Bitch:

how

Jerk:

70s

Bitch:

you end up with

Jerk:

Cadillac.

Bitch:

wings that are this big!

Jerk:

Yeah, they keep adding to balance,

Bitch:

Oh,

Jerk:

balance.

Bitch:

god dammit!

Jerk:

Next time just put on a goddamn iPad, you're set. But no, they had really good photo ops. They would take the pictures for you and send them to you in a couple of different sets. And then like I said, they had a full on car that she did the, I guess to match the car that's in some of the photo shoots. A bunch of shirts. They had a whole bunch of baking of her baking line. Some stuff I'd never seen before. I'd only seen the coconut cake and the banana cake and the cream frosting.

Bitch:

Mm-hmm.

Jerk:

They also had chocolate frosting. They had turtle brownie, biscuits, and

Bitch:

Biscuits!

Jerk:

cornbread. I just couldn't bring my, but everything was $10. So I'm just gonna say first off,

Bitch:

Why?

Jerk:

when they actually, oh yeah, the cooking stuff. Now, when they actually have it at the grocery store, they're usually about $3.50 to $4,

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

right? Yeah, but some of them I hadn't seen before so I had to buy a bunch. But I refused to buy cornbread mix on principle because cornbread mix should not cost more than $2, in my opinion, so I refused on that one.

Bitch:

Okay,

Jerk:

But

Bitch:

good.

Jerk:

I did buy

Bitch:

I'm

Jerk:

a

Bitch:

glad

Jerk:

lot of baking.

Bitch:

you stood your ground on the cornbread.

Jerk:

Yeah, but I got a lot of other goodies and for myself and for others and So things are things are stashed and situated we did that and then on the next day I got to go to medieval times For my

Bitch:

Thanks.

Jerk:

niece's birthday because it was Addison has done our some of our voice work on the show before you may have heard her It's her birthday today That we're recording and so she she wanted to be able times for a birthday. So that's what we did and I blew my voice out booing like I do every time.

Bitch:

At least you really got into it.

Jerk:

I do every time. So...

Bitch:

Did one of your group win the favor?

Jerk:

No, well, no. I mean, of course, Addison got a flower because

Bitch:

Okay.

Jerk:

duh, but she didn't win the favor. So. But yeah, no, so we did that. And then it's family time to celebrate Mother's Day and have cupcakes on Sunday. Oh, and I went and saw a show on Saturday night and saw Neva De Nova. Nebraska indie rock bands along with cursive, who was actually who they were actually excellent. It wasn't a band I got into when they were very popular. They're still popular, but like and their heyday, if you will. They're actually really fricking good man. And yeah, looking forward to some more shows this weekend because that's what I'm doing now, apparently. Longhorn Ballroom is happening on Friday night. It is a free event unless you wait to live with an RSVP or it's $10 day of, and it's a R&B review with a bunch of local artists and people can come check out the venue. So that's pretty cool to share that with the world. That's what I've got going on. That's my plugs.

Bitch:

Yep, yep, Diana has a life, we know, we understand, yes, you're cool.

Jerk:

Yeah, yeah.

Bitch:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, some of us just sit and watch The Muppets. Anyhow, so, and that's how we get to finish The Muppets, because we're not off seeing rock bands. I got to see the whole goddamn series, because I

Jerk:

I know.

Bitch:

just sat in my couch and watched it. Take that, Miss, I

Jerk:

I know.

Bitch:

got to see Dolly Parton. Anyhow, you ready to talk about this fucking episode?

Jerk:

Sure, do you want to get it over with? I know you don't like it.

Bitch:

I don't like it for a lot of reasons. I mean, it's just it's just a bummer. It's a

Jerk:

It

Bitch:

bummer.

Jerk:

is a bummer,

Bitch:

It's a

Jerk:

but

Bitch:

bummer

Jerk:

there's some

Bitch:

episode

Jerk:

really good lines in it.

Bitch:

It has it's very well written. It's just depressing um, everybody's angry and

Jerk:

Yeah, that's

Bitch:

You

Jerk:

true.

Bitch:

know, it's just it's not a feel good. It's just not

Jerk:

Mm-mm.

Bitch:

Uh, so and it was cut in tight called and then there were none and there's this whole thing I forgot to copy it down Whatever go look it up is based on a thing Um, all right, this was directed

Jerk:

That's based

Bitch:

by

Jerk:

on a

Bitch:

Mike

Jerk:

thing.

Bitch:

is based on a thing. It has like, you know, people being That's right on you my cat just woke up and she was like, you know it has to do with the people who like got sent to an island because they did something bad and then like Uh,

Jerk:

Bye bye bye.

Bitch:

so this was directed by Mike role We who last did appointment in samara and written by Brett matthews to be less, uh less wrote on a live free or twy hard So do you see, you know, solid director,

Jerk:

I can...

Bitch:

solid writer.

Jerk:

yeah, I can see that.

Bitch:

So yeah, so we started off with a truck stop and I just wanted to use this word, a lot lizard.

Jerk:

Yeah, we got a guy driving a big rig gassing up and our character Eve aka mother that we met at the end a couple episodes ago

Bitch:

NANDA!

Jerk:

just shows up

Bitch:

Can

Jerk:

and surprises

Bitch:

we just like

Jerk:

him.

Bitch:

have Dave make that for us and then just insert that in random times every time we say it? And we can do it every time we say Eve, but occasionally.

Jerk:

That'd be a lot.

Bitch:

It would be a lot. But just every once in a while. Just a good mother.

Jerk:

Yeah, she she just kind of appears behind him though, and it's real freaky and asked him for a ride And introduced herself as eve. His name is rick and

Bitch:

She

Jerk:

he's

Bitch:

ain't got

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

no shoes on!

Jerk:

No, she's like just in a nightie like rolling around in the

Bitch:

She's

Jerk:

freaking

Bitch:

on this out- she's on this dress, which

Jerk:

She

Bitch:

is,

Jerk:

is in

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

that dress that you're wearing

Bitch:

know...

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

I wore-

Jerk:

uh

Bitch:

I put on an Eve dress, uh, just for this episode.

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah. And so he's like, where are you going? How far are you going? And she's like, as far as you want to go. Uh, okay.

Bitch:

And he was like, okay, because I didn't think anything wrong or awkward was going to happen when I put this underage girl in my pickup truck, my pickup truck, but in my, my giant truck.

Jerk:

My trucker

Bitch:

No, that

Jerk:

truck,

Bitch:

seems

Jerk:

my trucker

Bitch:

that

Jerk:

cab.

Bitch:

seemed fine.

Jerk:

Yeah, and then she tries to make out with him and he is not into it and hands her a religious pamphlet saying that she could do better. That's not the right thing for her to do. She tells him that Jesus was just a man and God doesn't care about you. He abandoned you. The apocalypse already came and went and you didn't even notice, but a mother wouldn't abandon you like God did.

Bitch:

Yeah, and my notes are different than yours. Mine say, have some Jesus, he can fill your holes. Is that that's not what your notes say?

Jerk:

No, not what my notes say. So, but then she wants to tell him a secret. And so she's going to whisper to him.

Bitch:

Or she just sticks her tongue in his ear. That's what I thought happened. I'm like, oh, she's just like wet willying

Jerk:

UGH

Bitch:

him. This is also just an episode of Wet Willies, by the way. And

Jerk:

Ew.

Bitch:

it's just gross. It's just,

Jerk:

Ew.

Bitch:

don't put things in my ear. Don't fucking do it. Don't put

Jerk:

Uh.

Bitch:

your finger in there. Don't put your tongue in there. Like just don't,

Jerk:

Don't

Bitch:

no.

Jerk:

touch the inside your ears. Okay noted. Do you like Q-tips? Okay, I'm just

Bitch:

Yes, but I'm

Jerk:

curious.

Bitch:

controlling them.

Jerk:

I know, that's why I'm just inquiring if it's like a across the board rule, like for everybody including yourself, or it's just you can touch your own ears, but not that.

Bitch:

It's, you know, also just coming from, you know, asshole families where people like to stick, you know, you never know, and also just

Jerk:

What

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

will

Bitch:

bugs.

Jerk:

he?

Bitch:

Yeah, like

Jerk:

Oh, I have bugs

Bitch:

when

Jerk:

in

Bitch:

we

Jerk:

my

Bitch:

get

Jerk:

ears.

Bitch:

to the con room thing, like that's been a phobia ever since that movie came out. But, all right.

Jerk:

Alright, so something goes in his ear and he's yelling and it's not good. So we get, we cut to a woman sleeping in bed and good old Rick walks in to the bedroom, pulls a hammer out and as she's screaming he bashes her head in with the hammer.

Bitch:

I think it's because her nightgown, while it was kind of white, it wasn't totally white. There were some purple flowers on it, and for that you must die by hammer, according

Jerk:

Is

Bitch:

to the rules of Supernatural.

Jerk:

that what it is? That nightie is too fucking ugly. He must die.

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

I'm just kidding. Oh, and we get some good blood splatter. So, all right, well, we cut to Bobby Samandine researching at Bobby's. We see a headline that says more mutilated bodies on the headline of the newspaper lay in there. And they are circling sites on a map trying to figure out what's going on. because Bobby is finding reports and getting reports from a bunch of hunters, some of our favorite things. And Nest of Vamps, a werewolf dance party, yes!

Bitch:

Oh!

Jerk:

And Shifters with six of them, two hunters dead, ghouls, ghouls, and ghoul wraith, smorgasbord.

Bitch:

Ghouls ghouls! Ghoul? But yes.

Jerk:

I thought he was gonna go ghouls, ghouls, ghouls, and I was very disappointed he didn't. Kind

Bitch:

But it was also kind of

Jerk:

of.

Bitch:

almost better, right? Because it's like ghouls, ghouls, ghoul, race, mortish board, like

Jerk:

Mm,

Bitch:

it kind of

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

like it throws you. But werewolf dance party, where are these? Can I go? There is like, I think I know I've told Diana before, but like, I must find this. There is a bar in between San Marcus and like Luling or Walker. I don't know. Like it's called like Howl at the Moon. And

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

I'm pretty sure that's where like werewolves go.

Jerk:

Well, we need to get out there.

Bitch:

I do think, but I'm not going there by myself.

Jerk:

That's why I said we need to. You should not go by yourself.

Bitch:

But we had to go on a full moon and make sure that we could see the werewolf dance party.

Jerk:

So they've been circling while these things happened. It's making a line down Highway 80 basically. Dean calls it the Sherman March Monster Mash.

Bitch:

And then I started thinking about like monster mashing like in like military marches, right? And that was like, so it's like a tattoo, right? But like, so there's bands and there's just monsters and they're like, just like dancing because they're like, so it's just a parade.

Jerk:

Hoo!

Bitch:

It's a monster parade and I want it to happen.

Jerk:

Oh my gosh. So now we're trying to figure out where this path is going. And it seems to lead to Sandusky, which is where this, where Rick had just bashed in his wife's head and apparently his family's heads. So

Bitch:

When

Jerk:

we've

Bitch:

I stopped

Jerk:

got.

Bitch:

calling him Rick, I just started calling him Hammerhead.

Jerk:

Oh, okay. Well, Sam and Dean are interviewing him in jail and he's just like, look, I blacked out. You know, I remember, you know, I was, I woke, I was doing my route and then I woke up in my trunk, my truck at work. Don't remember how I got there. So I called home and there was no answer. So he went to his house and found his family dead. And surprise, Bobby's actually with Sam and Dean doing this interrogation. What? That doesn't happen.

Bitch:

Yeah, so all three of them are pretending to be federal agents and

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

just talk themselves into an interview room with a man who just killed his family with the hammer.

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

They

Jerk:

man,

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

he's...

Bitch:

let random people in off the street

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

interview

Jerk:

to go interview

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

him.

Bitch:

guy with the hammer.

Jerk:

Well, and it gets worse. I mean, obviously this guy's very upset. He loved his family and doesn't remember doing this and he's crying. He just remembers some kid that had asked for a ride, some young girl. And then not only does this police department allow these randos to just like come interview a murder suspect, they also let them use their computers to review surveillance footage, which

Bitch:

that

Jerk:

is what they did next.

Bitch:

they've already gotten.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Somewhat, wait, we know they couldn't have because I don't think the police even know about this. So basically then I think they have hacked into the surveillance cameras for the truck stop because that is the only reason like they could have been seeing this. Okay, so that is what they've done. And then Dean starts perving on her. And so I kind of think that that face that she gives you, that's what you deserve. Like

Jerk:

She gives

Bitch:

every...

Jerk:

a real scary face.

Bitch:

I kinda like your scary face too, and it's just like, fuck you, I'm not here for

Jerk:

Mm

Bitch:

to be your objectine.

Jerk:

hmm.

Bitch:

Human

Jerk:

Well, but before

Bitch:

being.

Jerk:

that, they're they're realizing they're like, is this a this is the first they're like, is this a demon possession or ghost? We thought this was a monster thing, but it's not. They see, of course, Eve's face and she is, as I wrote, scary monster demony.

Bitch:

I think she kind of looks like the scream like a Little bit

Jerk:

A little bit,

Bitch:

it just like

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

this kind of just looks like you took her head and just went and just kind of like you

Jerk:

I thought it was a little bit ring,

Bitch:

oh so

Jerk:

which

Bitch:

kind

Jerk:

I didn't

Bitch:

of

Jerk:

like.

Bitch:

like you kind of like the rain but also kind of like in beetle juice when they structure their face out like You just did that and then put

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

cute, though.

Bitch:

a Yeah

Jerk:

Well, they're making references

Bitch:

But it

Jerk:

to

Bitch:

is faces

Jerk:

know

Bitch:

cute

Jerk:

they're making they don't know what it is, but they're talking about monsters coming in for Mother's Day, which is interesting, because we just passed Mother's Day. Good timing for this

Bitch:

It

Jerk:

episode.

Bitch:

is a very timely episode, so.

Jerk:

Um, and if they're like, but if that is big mama, we don't know how to gank her.

Bitch:

Oh, big mama.

Jerk:

Big

Bitch:

Big

Jerk:

mama.

Bitch:

mama's coming.

Jerk:

But so they got to find some info on her.

Bitch:

Oh, that makes me think like she's a chunky cat and there's just this

Jerk:

Big

Bitch:

like big

Jerk:

mama.

Bitch:

mama's coming.

Jerk:

Well then the cops get a call and they start running out because a guy went quote postal which that's so weird that's still a thing term anyway well I guess it's not now it is now I've heard people say it weird

Bitch:

No, but also like at this point, this was, you know, when people weren't just committing mass murders like every day. It was

Jerk:

No. So.

Bitch:

nt time, the early, the early: 2000

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

well

Jerk:

Bobby's

Bitch:

early teens.

Jerk:

going to go. Yeah,

Bitch:

2011.

Jerk:

Bobby's going to go with Bobby's going to go find out what happened at the cannery with this next incident

Bitch:

Cannery.

Jerk:

occurred while.

Bitch:

Well, I don't know why that word makes me laugh. It just does. Cannery.

Jerk:

And then the brothers are going to stay behind to try to figure out what other research they can pull together. So, and we see Eve leaving the truck, by the way, in the background on the surveillance footage. So she did not hang around along with Rick.

Bitch:

Nope, just stuck her tongue in his ear and

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

fucked off.

Jerk:

bounced. So Bobby's at the crime scene at the cannery and there's bodies being wheeled out. He flashes his FBI badge and one of the cops just starts chatting away. Yeah, we got six dead guy inside pull a hunting rifle. And then the sheriff walks out and he makes a comment about how many feds are there is a fed convention? Because who's behind him? But Rufus also pretending to be with the FBI.

Bitch:

Also, he pretends to be an FBI agent the same way Bobby does, which they put on trench coats. And they both have on trench coats and is adorable.

Jerk:

They do. They do. They got their FBI cosplay on. So Rufus walks out and greets Bobby as Agent Willis. And Bobby wants to know what Rufus is doing there, though. He's like, look, the perpetrator got eight bullets in him, so we're not really going to be able to ask him much. So I guess Rufus asks Bobby if they're going to partner again this time. It's not rocket surgery. We just like old times. But Bobby wants to drive.

Bitch:

Oh, so cute.

Jerk:

At the morgue, so Bobby and Rufus go to the morgue and are looking at the perpetrator's body and

Bitch:

Okay, so this guy who just got shot in the cannery,

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

right? He was just killed.

Jerk:

Just

Bitch:

He

Jerk:

killed.

Bitch:

is now like,

Jerk:

Half

Bitch:

now

Jerk:

frozen

Bitch:

he

Jerk:

at the morgue.

Bitch:

is he is already on a slab in the morgue and they're just gonna let these two random federal agents into there who just and give them aprons to work on and now they're just gonna let these randos autopsy their corpse?

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

Okay.

Jerk:

Yeah. But Bobby notices, um, there's something black in the guy's ear and gets a swab and it's this black goo. Yeah.

Bitch:

And this is the point when Sonic Youth starts going through my head My friend goo And that just like that, get stuck in there But it's not

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

ecto And

Jerk:

that's

Bitch:

wait,

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

why are you smelling that Rufus? Don't do that! Don't smell it! Don't put it under your nose!

Jerk:

How do you have to smell it? I'm just kidding. And they put a piece together. This might be something new. And both of the guys that have snapped, both Rick and this guy, both worked at the cannery. So it is nighttime. And we've got some classic TV detective style music playing as Rufus and Bobby pull up and.

Bitch:

Yeah, the soundtrack during this, just the back of the music is great. Like

Jerk:

It is

Bitch:

it's really lovely.

Jerk:

sets the tone

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

and Sam and Dean are already there and they all and Sam Dean really happy to see Rufus and greet him quite enthusiastically.

Bitch:

Yeah, it's a very happy reunion, which to me and or anybody who ever watches a show should immediately go Danger, danger, danger, red flag, red flag, red flag, someone is happy to see the Winchesters.

Jerk:

Uh oh.

Bitch:

Uh oh. Oh no, it's the curse of the Winchesters. It has come.

Jerk:

So they're going to go search the cannery. They're walking around and as they're getting upstairs, they see Gwen Campbell leaving the break room.

Bitch:

That's random.

Jerk:

And everybody's pointing guns at each other. But because in the background, not only is it Gwen, but fucking Samuel's there.

Bitch:

That is the sound I make when I see Syphil.

Jerk:

Fucking Samuel. And. Dean promised to kill him next time he saw him. And so he goes in gun pointed, but Sam stops

Bitch:

He was

Jerk:

him.

Bitch:

flat out shoots it. It's very

Jerk:

He was,

Bitch:

like a very

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

aggressive. You're like

Jerk:

He's just like,

Bitch:

shit. You're like you're just going for it

Jerk:

yeah, he was just gonna shoot his ass. And, but Sam stops him. Then because he just, he doesn't think it's the right time to do this. But Rufus is like, oh, y'all know each other? And Dean's like, yeah, he's our grandfather. Rufus's responses, oh, somebody needs a hug.

Bitch:

Yeah, I love that line.

Jerk:

So they're all, the planners from all stay working and they're all gonna try to solve this case together. And Bobby has Sam remove Dean from the situation before Dean snaps.

Bitch:

Take it for a walk. Go for a walkie.

Jerk:

So if the conversation goes, I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying not yet.

Bitch:

Which is interesting, right? It was like, oh no, you can still kill him, just not right now. And I'm still like, dude, he's still like a human being and there's you, this may be crossing an ethical line. Like I know like me, is he a human? I don't know. Samuel's

Jerk:

He's a dick,

Bitch:

humanity,

Jerk:

but that doesn't necessarily

Bitch:

he's a

Jerk:

mean

Bitch:

dick,

Jerk:

you don't deserve

Bitch:

but

Jerk:

to live.

Bitch:

I mean like, I don't know, I don't think you have an actual, that's just murder.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

But anyway, so then

Jerk:

We get it.

Bitch:

we remember, we find out that Bobby and Samuel have not met yet. You're like,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

oh shit, like this has to happen. And you're just like popcorn.

Jerk:

Yeah. And so Bobby's like, Oh, so you're Samuel. Samuel was like, so you're the guy pretending to be their father.

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

But

Bitch:

Bobby's

Jerk:

Bobby...

Bitch:

just just like oh, yeah, bitch. Well somebody ought to Hmm,

Jerk:

Mm hmm. Mm

Bitch:

and he just says

Jerk:

hmm.

Bitch:

fuck off and walks away. He doesn't think he is

Jerk:

They

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

should

Bitch:

it's so

Jerk:

have.

Bitch:

good like he just like

Jerk:

Somebody ought to. And so Sam comes back in and Sam tells Samuel that, yeah, by the way, I got my soul back. No, thanks to you. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Bitch:

This is all very awkward.

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

this

Bitch:

awkward.

Jerk:

is when Samuel's like, oh wait, Sam,

Bitch:

Can

Jerk:

you

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

don't

Bitch:

imagine

Jerk:

remember

Bitch:

being

Jerk:

everything,

Bitch:

Gwen

Jerk:

do

Bitch:

right

Jerk:

you?

Bitch:

now? Poor fucking Gwen is just like, probably

Jerk:

What the

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

fuck?

Bitch:

like, what the fuck did I just walk into? Like, why like I should have just like gone to Duncan. I feel like

Jerk:

Mm

Bitch:

when it goes to Duncan.

Jerk:

hmm. Well, Samuel's figured out that Sam does not remember everything that happened when they were together. And Rufus is like, well, what the fuck are you hunting, Samuel? Samuel's like, it's a creature from Purgatory. Eve or mother is what it's called. Last year, 10,000 years ago, and every freak can be traced back.

Bitch:

But I don't like thinking about it in every freaking it was like ever like she is the source of all the monsters.

Jerk:

Monster Mommy.

Bitch:

Oh She's monster mommy and you know, I mean I don't I'm not mad at that. I'm like, okay Yeah, you like monsters have to come from somewhere

Jerk:

Well, and we get Bobby and Samuel kind of have a pissing contest about who knows more about things for a second. And then.

Bitch:

There's a lot

Jerk:

But.

Bitch:

of dick measuring in this.

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

Maybe

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

that's also why I don't like it. Like it's a lot of male energy.

Jerk:

Yeah, and Bobby calls Samuel out though for throwing his own kin to hungry ghouls.

Bitch:

Goose, goose, goose!

Jerk:

But Samuel's like, no, that's a lie. But Gwen's like, wait, what? So Bobby tells her to go ask Dean herself.

Bitch:

Well, fine, I will, huh! Because I want to get out of this awkward situation! This

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

seems like a great idea! I'll

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

go

Jerk:

I'm going

Bitch:

find

Jerk:

to go,

Bitch:

Dean!

Jerk:

I'm going to go ask another awkward question in an abandoned building. Yay. So she goes to ask Dean if it's true. And he's like, yeah, and I can't believe you're still rolling with him. Hmm. And she's like, look, I didn't know. Dean's like, well, there's something I need to tell you. And that thing he needed to tell her is a fucking bullet because he shoots her.

Bitch:

Yep.

Jerk:

What the fuck?

Bitch:

I hate this

Jerk:

WTF?

Bitch:

episode.

Jerk:

What the fuck? So Dean just shoots Gwen and.

Bitch:

Gwen's just gone. Like now we just have no more

Jerk:

She did.

Bitch:

Gwen.

Jerk:

Gwen's dead. That's it.

Bitch:

Curse

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

of the Winchester!

Jerk:

Sammy, Sammy, Sam, Bobby, Rufus, and Samuel heard the gunshot and come out. And they find Gwen. And they try to save her, but there's no way. And Dean's gone. So Sam's got to go find him while Rufus is still trying to do CPR unsuccessfully.

Bitch:

She dead though, she dead. Don't be from

Jerk:

you that.

Bitch:

the Winchesters. All right, so Sam comes back and he can't find Dean.

Jerk:

Mm-hmm and like he's you know, what whatever got these guys must have gotten Dean as well So now we know that whatever made Rick kill his family and this other guys shoot up the factory now It's gotten gotten to Dean So they've got to find Dean before Dean finds them and they're like but Sam just has to make a point that we're gonna find him alive Period or it put a bullet in Samuel's head, you know Because he don't trust Samuel not to kill Dean but So Sam and Bobby are going to go look and we're searching, they pair up to search and Rufus and Samuel are putting Gwen's body away and then they're going to go search too.

Bitch:

No, no, no, Sam and Bobby are locking up the place while the other two move the body. And that is because they're like, we're going to go lock down the place and they put like the world's like flimsiest little padlocks on shit. And I'm like, what? Locking it down for what? Like, are

Jerk:

Well, they

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

don't

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

want him

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

to get out.

Bitch:

I don't, I just that those locks wouldn't hold like a child in a middle school.

Jerk:

Well, Sam uses, while they're all kind of wandering around, Sam uses his phone to call Dean to make Dean's phone ring so they can find him. So we end up with Rufus going face to face with Dean, guns pointed at each other, and Rufus is telling Dean to put the gun down. But then of course Samuel runs in with his gun, and then Sam and Bobby run in, and Sam's like, look, everybody just put their fucking guns down.

Bitch:

because this

Jerk:

Dean.

Bitch:

is stupid.

Jerk:

Yeah, and Dean's like, I'm not in the mood. I just had a 12 inch heartbeat crawl out of my ear.

Bitch:

No, it's not Harpy, it's Herpy. Because Sam keeps asking him, like, why do you keep talking about Herpy's theme? And so it's a herpy that crawls out of his ear. And then he's basically, he says, it's a work. And then Samuel tells him, well, you kill Deen, you kill Gwyn,

Jerk:

code GWEN.

Bitch:

and Deen's like, is like a con worm on steroids. Okay, so con worms, if you don't know, that's a thing from the wrath of con. Star Trek thing

Jerk:

Ahhhh,

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

okay.

Bitch:

in that movie there's fucking bugs that crawl in your goddamn ear and those are not okay. They're gross. But still we're going to talk about another worm because it's

Jerk:

Okay.

Bitch:

time for lore the mini.

Jerk:

Lower.

Bitch:

All right, we're going to talk about the world's most metal cryptid, AKA the Mongolian death worm. That's just metal,

Jerk:

That should

Bitch:

right?

Jerk:

be a band name.

Bitch:

I'm sure it is like, I didn't, I, there's a reason I don't know. Um, all right. So it's said to be a sand worm, right? So it's dark red in color and it's got spikes and like both ends. So but really if you think about like a sandworm, like the sandworm and beetle juice that Barbara rides, you know, it's like a sandworm. All right, cool. And it's got spikes on both of its ends, right? And

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

it spits venom. And the venom will corrode metal and also send electric shocks. And like, it's so shocking that if you're a person and you like, eh, and you hit the venom, like, you die.

Jerk:

Weird.

Bitch:

weird, right? And the sandworm is shockingly, as it did there, thought to live in the sand, but

Jerk:

What?

Bitch:

particularly in the Gobi desert. So Mongolia's nomadic tribes called it the word I can't pronounce, but it translates to roughly intestine worms because they thought that it looked like cow guts. And, you know, so intestine worm can grow up to like five feet in But nobody's ever seen it or like, well, they say like, they all like know what it looks like, but nobody's ever actually seen it. Uh, a lot of people have tried to find it. There's been a lot of TV shows, a lot of like Western, like want to be Indiana Jones dudes who are like, I'm going to go find the thing and the, the, the, uh, the, but nobody ever finds it. But, uh, at this point, like a lot of people think that it was miside, something real that's misidentified, right? Like. I saw something and it looked like it was something else. And so then in the research, that's when they start saying all the real things that it could be. And there's like a lot of videos of like sand snakes and spiders and

Jerk:

Mm-mm.

Bitch:

centipedes. And no, I stopped researching at that point because I got freaked out because I don't surprise snakes, no. Surprise worms. No, no. I mean, I don't, you be brightly color and make a lot of noise and then you're fine, you know? Like in worms, like, why don't worms talk? No, they're just snakes. You know that, like, we don't know how we like talk, but like, they don't like,

Jerk:

communicate like

Bitch:

they

Jerk:

verbally.

Bitch:

don't make sounds, right? Like,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

like cat, like, yeah, dog, woof, like

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

snake besides

Jerk:

Horse.

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

Merrr.

Bitch:

see, you don't trust him. I

Jerk:

Mm-mm.

Bitch:

don't understand. So there'll be another mini lore later to make it for this, but that's it.

Jerk:

Whoo. All right.

Bitch:

But still, look only in Death Worm.

Jerk:

Mongolian death worm. So Dean just woke up on the ground with this worm thing coming out of his ear, and he's very upset about it and went to the vent. So Samuel's like, well, could it still be in there? We can't trust him. And they check he's got they check and make sure he's got goo in his ear, which means that it came out. So they all give up their guns at Bobby's insistence.

Bitch:

No, no, no, so this is where they're wet-willing each other. They're just like, well, I gotta see like so roof is just like basically like a and just like chumps his finger in Dean's ear to find out that he's good. Yes, I'm yep.

Jerk:

goo

Bitch:

You're

Jerk:

positive.

Bitch:

goo positive.

Jerk:

That's true. It's gross. But so Bobby's like, look, everybody's got to give up their guns because we don't know who might get this and we don't want to it'll you know, it's just gonna make it harder to we don't want to blow

Bitch:

As

Jerk:

each other's

Bitch:

we said,

Jerk:

heads

Bitch:

we

Jerk:

off.

Bitch:

don't want another Gwen. We saw

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

what just happened. Gwen

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

just got shot for no fucking reason.

Jerk:

So had to gently they all comply and they lock him up in one of the lockers right next to the and I heart polka sticker, which I was very amused by. And Bobby's like, all right, we need to make a plan. So let's make a bunch of, Rufus and Bobby are gonna call all the hunters they know to try to figure out if they know anything about this. And then this must go all night into the morning. And it's supposed to be over a weekend because there's no one coming to work in the morning. Like what the fuck is going on? Or is the place closed because of the shooting? I don't know.

Bitch:

Well, I mean, like a bunch of people did just die there, like by hammer. So maybe like,

Jerk:

They might have

Bitch:

but,

Jerk:

given him a day off.

Bitch:

but honestly it's capitalism and I don't think it'd be shut down for that long, like,

Jerk:

At least a day or two, I could see.

Bitch:

yeah, like a day or two, I mean, but his body's already like being on top seems.

Jerk:

Yeah, so God knows how long it's been. So yeah, Samuel and Dean keep getting into a staring contest

Bitch:

There's

Jerk:

until,

Bitch:

a lot of tense staring just like

Jerk:

yeah,

Bitch:

between everybody.

Jerk:

yeah. So Samuel gets up to leave the room and they all try to block, or Sam tries to block him because you guys need to go to the bathroom. And they let him leave and then of course Sam and Dean follow because you don't, nobody trusts Samuel, obviously.

Bitch:

I mean, nobody does, but I'm thinking about this. Like when you've got the, I don't know who is possessed. I would never leave somebody alone with another person. Like,

Jerk:

No,

Bitch:

is there, you're just like

Jerk:

you can't.

Bitch:

said, like there, we

Jerk:

Everybody

Bitch:

know,

Jerk:

should have

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

gone as a group together. Sorry,

Bitch:

yeah, I think

Jerk:

have

Bitch:

they

Jerk:

a party.

Bitch:

all like

Jerk:

Have

Bitch:

at this

Jerk:

a potty

Bitch:

point,

Jerk:

party. Do

Bitch:

yeah,

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

you don't like, you can't split up at this point.

Jerk:

No.

Bitch:

I don't think so. Because someone's gonna

Jerk:

No.

Bitch:

die. This is

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

how someone dies.

Jerk:

absolutely. So it makes no sense. But whatever, that's what they do. And then Bobby and Rufus are having no fucking luck. I like that they they're they have some funny conversations naming off some of the hunters they've tried to reach out to.

Bitch:

Hehehehe

Jerk:

But and that don't like them anymore. So they're like, look, maybe Bobby's like, maybe we just go get it. You know, guns just go in guns blazing and fucking kill this thing. Let's find it and kill it. OK. But Rufus replies. like Omaha. And apparently this is a real low blow. And Bobby is pissed that Rufus brought up Omaha.

Bitch:

Also, you know what? I'm fucking pissed that Rufus brought up Omaha. Because what the fuck is Omaha? Fuck

Jerk:

I know! We don't know

Bitch:

you.

Jerk:

what the fuck Omaha is! What?

Bitch:

This is annoying. This is fucking annoying.

Jerk:

So,

Bitch:

Because you don't

Jerk:

our...

Bitch:

tell me what the fuck Omaha is!

Jerk:

So Sam and Dean find Samuel and they corner him. And they're like, how do you sleep at night? You

Bitch:

Which

Jerk:

fed

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

us

Bitch:

also

Jerk:

to Crowley.

Bitch:

really weird. Like, why did you like, okay. Did you just like,

Jerk:

Like

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

why

Bitch:

couldn't

Jerk:

is

Bitch:

stop

Jerk:

now the moment

Bitch:

anymore?

Jerk:

to do this?

Bitch:

Like.

Jerk:

I don't know, it's so weird. And Samuel's like, yeah, it's true, but what am I gonna do about it now? What the fuck? Okay. And he's like, I don't blame you for wanting to kill me. I'm not gonna apologize because I don't cry over spilled blood.

Bitch:

What?

Jerk:

And then Diana rolled her eyes because this is fucking dumb.

Bitch:

Yep,

Jerk:

But.

Bitch:

that's spilled blood. Oh

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

God.

Jerk:

stupid. Sam's like, so you can just go on and he's like, yeah, but Samuel kind of calls out Sam here. He's like, just because you're Dr. Jekyll at the moment, you can't get all high and mighty here. I spent a year with you. I know the fucked up shit you've done. And

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

he's

Bitch:

know

Jerk:

like,

Bitch:

how dirty your dick is.

Jerk:

Sam's

Bitch:

Like

Jerk:

like, yeah,

Bitch:

you would

Jerk:

but

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

we're

Bitch:

put

Jerk:

s-

Bitch:

your dick in everything, Sam. You don't even.

Jerk:

And Sam's like, yeah, but we're still blood and you still sold us out though. And Sam was like, that pales in comparison to what you've done on more than one occasion.

Bitch:

Yeah, do we need to talk about like the seven women that you banged in one town?

Jerk:

But Dean stops them here because he doesn't want to he doesn't want Sam to go down the rabbit hole of remembering things because he doesn't want to tear it on the wall, yada yada. So he's like, look, the minute we kill this thing, you're next is what he tells Samuel.

Bitch:

Why are you even saying

Jerk:

That's just

Bitch:

this?

Jerk:

a shitty revenge killing. It's not even like, like I said, it's

Bitch:

Or

Jerk:

not

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

self-defense.

Bitch:

kill him now?

Jerk:

It's not.

Bitch:

Why

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

do you have to like why do you need

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

him

Jerk:

don't

Bitch:

to hunt

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

it? Like

Jerk:

And then they just stare at each other some more real aggressively.

Bitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Jerk:

And then right as Samuel turns, we see a little hint of black goo in his ear. And he tries to pull his gun, but Dean blocks him and Samuel runs away. Oh no. And Rufus and Bobby come out and they decide they're going to need the guns back.

Bitch:

Yeah, I really, ideally Rupert does mean like, I'm gonna be needing my gun back now. And Bobby's

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

like, yep, yep, that was dumb. Yep, should

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

have kept those.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

And they finally learned and they do decide to stick together.

Jerk:

Yes,

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

they

Bitch:

that's

Jerk:

are

Bitch:

kind

Jerk:

gonna

Bitch:

of

Jerk:

go

Bitch:

smart.

Jerk:

as a group. Samuel is, Sam, Sam stopped Dean though, and they all kind of freak out because Sam grabs Dean to stop him from walking. Because Sam saw a tripwire.

Bitch:

And it's a booby trap and now it's

Jerk:

Booby

Bitch:

time

Jerk:

trap!

Bitch:

for your other mini lore.

Jerk:

Yay!

Bitch:

Why? Because boobies. Really? Cause booby trap makes me laugh. Um, and sadly, no booby traps are not about chesticles. Uh, booby doke, booby doe

Jerk:

Hehehehehehe

Bitch:

for adunces maybe as early as: 1599

Jerk:

Cute

Bitch:

bird

Jerk:

little bird, cute little

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

baby

Bitch:

there's

Jerk:

bird.

Bitch:

h booby trap showed up around: 1850

Jerk:

Okay.

Bitch:

seems to be the one that people talk about the most. So like one, if you research booby traps and you just go into the search engine of your choice, I would never, you know, say you go to an evil. I use Google as a verb. That's not the search engine that I use. I do want to make that true. Just people know that. So If you go in there and you type booby and finish it with trap and you just stop with booby, I know it's tempting. You got to put the rest

Jerk:

You

Bitch:

of

Jerk:

gotta

Bitch:

that

Jerk:

put the rest

Bitch:

in there.

Jerk:

of it in. Yeah,

Bitch:

Rest of it.

Jerk:

very different search, very different search

Bitch:

Though

Jerk:

results.

Bitch:

you have, and that's a safe search versus unsafe searchers. There's all different ways that you can go, but keep going. Keep going and put traffic. Okay. There are a lot of articles just about dumb preppers building booby traps for the enemies in their house.

Jerk:

Okay.

Bitch:

They're like these are all the traps that you could put on your bunker and like, you know for you know The people who are coming to

Jerk:

Bunker

Bitch:

get you

Jerk:

booby traps?

Bitch:

So like bunker booby traps and just like for like when shit hits the fan these the booby It was like it's

Jerk:

Oh

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

my

Bitch:

ridiculous.

Jerk:

god.

Bitch:

It's so dumb but But then like I was looking for more like funny booby traps but like morally they just talk about like oh like were they did the Egyptians have booby traps did you know like in this temple in Mexico where this queen was covered in like red dye was that a booby trap or did she just want to be covered in red dye?

Jerk:

covered red dye.

Bitch:

She just thought being red was cool, probably.

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

Like.

Jerk:

mean Kevin McAlister was a master of booby traps.

Bitch:

He was the master. But so if they merely talk about ones that are in wars, we're going to talk about mainly Viet Cong, just because they were some of the most elaborate and just holy shit type things. And so they do think like I saw varying numbers, but like probably around 11% of us casualties during the, during the Vietnam war came because of booby traps.

Jerk:

Damn.

Bitch:

So that's, I mean, that's a lot of shit to think about. So. So here's a couple of the things that they would do. So one, these are called the Pungi sticks, right? And a lot of times these would either be in tunnels or just like in the jungle itself. And so, you know, that is where you would have like a camouflage pit and then like you would fall on that. And there would be sharpened sticks that are just sticking out of the ground. And they would generally be bamboo, sometimes metal, and they were coated with things that would just aim to get you infected. Right. So

Jerk:

Didn't

Bitch:

it was

Jerk:

they

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

do that

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

in the Hunger Games too?

Bitch:

yeah, kind of like Hunger Games, where I got it from. I think the Viet Cong did it first.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

yeah,

Jerk:

I think

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

you're right.

Bitch:

I mean, just, you know, but yeah, we, it was like, so like, and by things, I mean, like, coated in like feces and stuff too.

Jerk:

Ew,

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

okay.

Bitch:

also like, can you imagine being like the soldier whose job it was? All right. All right. You got to take a shit and

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

then

Jerk:

rub it

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

on that stick.

Bitch:

rub your, rub your shit on that stick. All right. That'll, that'll take out, you know, the Yankee or whatever, whatever they call this. But I was like,

Jerk:

Because

Bitch:

that's

Jerk:

even if they even if they're unimpaled they will have an infection and die

Bitch:

Well, yeah, like, and they had some other ways, like, they would like put the sticks in like a different way downwards. So like you couldn't like get them out.

Jerk:

Get out, yeah.

Bitch:

Or also, and I think this is like, you know, it was like, these are really smart. So they would have like, if you had like a pit that you fell into, well, they would dig a pit next to it. So when you're like, hey, I need help. And your friend came running, then

Jerk:

Oh

Bitch:

your friend would fall in the pit.

Jerk:

brutal,

Bitch:

Then you're both in pits.

Jerk:

brutal.

Bitch:

You're next to each other. That's just awful. Right. I'm not meaning to make a lot of this stuff, but

Jerk:

No, but

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

yeah, it's

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

clever dark.

Bitch:

So in my mind, these are just, they're all cartoons, right? It's not

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

living in real land.

Jerk:

of course.

Bitch:

All right, so cartoon violence, it's fine. All right, so grenades. All right, so like, there's one where you just like basically you just put like a grenade on a ground and just tie a string to the pen. So, and then you put a chip wire on the pen and then you trip, then you just pull the grenade and then, whoo, boom, you

Jerk:

Boom.

Bitch:

know?

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Or you could already like, you can pull the pin out and then just put it in a grenade, like these are the grenades that have the levers on them, you know the ones you can like picture with your hand that you squeeze?

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

Yeah, so that lever would be pushed down inside the can. And so, and then the tripwire would be tied around the grenade. So then when you trip, the grenade would come flying out of the can and then boom. Yeah. All

Jerk:

Yeah, because it's

Bitch:

right.

Jerk:

not being held close anymore.

Bitch:

These are called cartridge traps or tow poppers. And this is bonkers, but it's... So, all right, I'm just gonna say, so there's like a tube, right? And in the tube, there's a bullet and it's on top of a nail. And so the bullet's kind of like, you put that in the ground, so the bullet's kind of like sticking out on the ground. So then like when you step on the bullet, the bullet goes into the nail and then that pops off the cartridge and then like, boom.

Jerk:

that is brilliant and awful all at once.

Bitch:

Right? I was just like, I didn't, it's so smart and so simple.

Jerk:

Because

Bitch:

Like,

Jerk:

also if you've immobilized somebody by taking

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

their

Bitch:

right.

Jerk:

foot

Bitch:

And

Jerk:

out

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

then.

Bitch:

the idea then really is you're not like aiming to kill them. You're trying to immobilize

Jerk:

MAME

Bitch:

them

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

immobilize.

Bitch:

freak them the fuck out and

Jerk:

It's,

Bitch:

you're wounding

Jerk:

yeah, it's scary.

Bitch:

them

Jerk:

Mental.

Bitch:

and then you can ambush them. Right. Okay. So this one snake fits, and this is about real snakes and gross. I don't want to call, I don't want to talk about it. Um,

Jerk:

Indiana

Bitch:

but

Jerk:

Jones shit right there.

Bitch:

yeah, but you think about. it's what it sounds like however like the snakes they use were called like three step snakes because that's how like

Jerk:

How

Bitch:

one

Jerk:

fast

Bitch:

two

Jerk:

you would die?

Bitch:

three steps you die right

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

but sometimes and i don't know if this is true because this does sound some like cartoon fucking bullshit they said that they tied snakes to branches by their tails at like face height So then like, you know, you walk by and there's like, bam, like, get like bit in the face by like by a snake. But like, are you like, like, how do you keep from being bitten by the snake? Like while you're tying it up? Like, are you tying the tail? Like, is you

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

tying

Jerk:

throw

Bitch:

in a knot?

Jerk:

it over real fast and run away.

Bitch:

Like, how the fuck do you do whose job? So like, is it the poor guy who had the shitty spike job? Like now they're like, OK, we want you to go find this venomous snake.

Jerk:

Now that you pooped on the stick, please go catch some poisonous snakes and

Bitch:

Coke

Jerk:

hang them

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

from

Bitch:

then

Jerk:

trees.

Bitch:

tie it on a tree.

Jerk:

That does sound cartoony, but I'm sure they figured it out. Maybe they like got

Bitch:

Well,

Jerk:

them. Don't you think

Bitch:

they

Jerk:

if you

Bitch:

also-

Jerk:

get a snake real cold, don't they like kind of go unconscious? So I wonder

Bitch:

Oh,

Jerk:

if they

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

got

Bitch:

could

Jerk:

them

Bitch:

do.

Jerk:

real

Bitch:

But how

Jerk:

cold.

Bitch:

do you get cold

Jerk:

And by

Bitch:

in Vietnam?

Jerk:

the way, I don't

Bitch:

Like,

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

I'm

Bitch:

don't

Jerk:

just,

Bitch:

think they had ice. Pretty sure the Viet Cong did not. Like,

Jerk:

that's

Bitch:

of

Jerk:

fair.

Bitch:

the amenities they had, I don't see the Viet Cong having ice. I don't know why. Maybe they did. I don't know.

Jerk:

It wasn't their priority.

Bitch:

Yeah, so a lot of this has to do with it is something I hadn't really like thought about because I just really I don't really read that much about the Vietnam War. It's

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

I don't like it. And so, you know, I don't read about things I don't like. I get, you know, I want to write fun stuff. So, but there is a giant tunnel system in Vietnam that were being leveraged by the Vietcong and also by other people during this, right? So there were soldiers from the American, Australian, and other sides that were basically their job was to go through these tunnels and basically they're trying to get intel and like not die, right? Like you're trying to like, like, like they're fucking like plays and shit down these tunnels like that's where they would have like their political plays that they couldn't have like

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

above ground because they were illegal. Like,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

so I'll be like, that's how elaborate these tunnels were. But

Jerk:

Interesting.

Bitch:

because a lot of these booby traps, that's where they were. They were in the tunnels. So

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

snakes were in the fucking tunnels.

Jerk:

No.

Bitch:

No, that's why I stopped reading about that one.

Jerk:

No.

Bitch:

Alright, spike balls and maces. So this is like a giant concrete ball as you get like a giant ball, right? And then you wrap

Jerk:

balls.

Bitch:

it like in share and then you basically attached huge spikes to it. So it looks like a giant mace, right? That's why it's called a mace, right? And then you basically attach that to like a tree or something. This is so cartoony. And

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

then like you, so if you hits on the tripwire and then like, boom, and then like you come down and get hit with a giant fucking mace.

Jerk:

That's insane. That does very cartoony.

Bitch:

It's you

Jerk:

Acme.

Bitch:

the pictures of them are

Jerk:

Giant

Bitch:

in.

Jerk:

Mace created by Acme.

Bitch:

It's horrifying, like it's

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

horrifyingly like that. This was real, but it's so cartoony because you can't imagine like and the pictures are like what? Oh my they were gigantic.

Jerk:

Ugh, damage, yeah.

Bitch:

So huge. I can't imagine like walking through. Oh, man. All right. So scorpions. All right.

Jerk:

Mm-mm.

Bitch:

So. Especially like if you're in the tunnels, they would take boxes of scorpions in there And so like basically like there would be like a tripwire like I got a stick or something And then like you would walk past and the stick would fall then the box of scorpions would open and then you would have scorpions all over you No

Jerk:

No, thank you.

Bitch:

again cartoony Can those real? Okay. The last one that we talked about for the Vietcong flax so It's a thing and maybe you've heard of this that when you like Capture like something in an enemy that you take their flat

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

right? So if there was a village that had been captured by the Viet Cong and they got like one bite, you know, whoever was coming in to take this village away from them, they would leave like the a grenade attached to the rope with the flag. So as soon as somebody tried to like lower, sorry, as soon as somebody tried to lower the flag, a grenade would fucking go off. And if that didn't work, they would put a mine at the base of the pole.

Jerk:

Damn. Damn. Because I captured the flag. That's a game. And they

Bitch:

Well, I mean, it's also just, you know, it's a thing,

Jerk:

use

Bitch:

right?

Jerk:

it. Well,

Bitch:

Like,

Jerk:

it's also used in war games. It's like, that's

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

how you know you've like

Bitch:

Well, and like, oh,

Jerk:

trainings.

Bitch:

you know, like, you know,

Jerk:

We

Bitch:

hello,

Jerk:

got their flag.

Bitch:

Iwo Jima

Jerk:

We

Bitch:

flag, you know,

Jerk:

used our

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

tactics.

Bitch:

we put, we

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

put

Jerk:

our

Bitch:

our

Jerk:

symbol.

Bitch:

flag there. This

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

is our

Jerk:

that's

Bitch:

symbol.

Jerk:

our symbol. Yeah.

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

Damn.

Bitch:

yeah. All right. So that's

Jerk:

Woo.

Bitch:

gonna be a Kong. And I just want to talk about two things that the Nazis did.

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

Um, so I'm talking about us enemies in this episode. I don't know why, but it just, you know, booby traps,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

I guess it's just. I know, like, I want to see what American, what were the American booby traps? Because like we, I know we had to do some too, right? Um, okay.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

So when, and this is the same kind of idea with the flag thing, right? So when, when the allied troops are coming in, like, um, into occupied Nazi like villages that have been occupied by, uh, Nazis or, you know, those forces. So they would just like hide explosives under like everything under like helmets, rifles, lamps. Cracked Magazine called it just like a bunch of homicidal squirrels just like hiding shit everywhere. So like again, cartoony shit, right? Like so.

Jerk:

So if you pick anything up off the ground, she's going to blow.

Bitch:

Yeah, it was like, don't pick up that helmet. And like, there was a rifle leaning against a tree, and then you would pick the rifle up, and then it would explode.

Jerk:

them.

Bitch:

Yeah, so bad in: 1943

Jerk:

Explosive peas.

Bitch:

That can you imagine this mission? All right, you know, like, oh, man, in the German to just like yelling at you just like, you know, this is like what we're gonna do and you're gonna land in England with the canopy.

Jerk:

Canopies.

Bitch:

And you're gonna go blow up the Queen

Jerk:

with

Bitch:

or

Jerk:

cans

Bitch:

the king.

Jerk:

of peas.

Bitch:

Where's the World War Two. I don't remember. I think it was a king, but

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

whatever. Fuck you. It was okay. The last one that just think is It's terrible. I'm saying it's because it's a Nazi thing. So it's terrible. But it's just called the crooked picture bomb. So basically like they would put in like a hallway, like where a painting is, it would just go and hollow out the wall behind it and put, you know, a bomb in it and then hang the picture, but hang it crooked. And so when

Jerk:

Oh

Bitch:

somebody

Jerk:

no.

Bitch:

who was anal walked by and straightened the picture, it would blow up.

Jerk:

That's like the meanest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Bitch:

Yep, so for anal retent- I'm kind of looking at you. For anal retentive people who can't just let the picture hang crooked

Jerk:

I'd be dead.

Bitch:

You'd be dead

Jerk:

I'd be dead.

Bitch:

See, I think the theme of this is if you're just lazy You're gonna be much better off like if I'm not climbing

Jerk:

No! No,

Bitch:

in any tunnels

Jerk:

I don't

Bitch:

No

Jerk:

want

Bitch:

fucking

Jerk:

to go into tunnels.

Bitch:

spiders

Jerk:

I don't like

Bitch:

or

Jerk:

tunnels.

Bitch:

snakes are climbing, you know following me like no, thank you

Jerk:

No tunnels

Bitch:

Um, I also

Jerk:

for me.

Bitch:

like I have tits I can't tunnel crawl like I just

Jerk:

I get the concept of tunnels actually makes me like super claustrophobic and I'm not a claustrophobic person. So it's kind of like generally speaking, but like underground stuff like freaks me out a little

Bitch:

Like,

Jerk:

bit.

Bitch:

I don't know, I can handle, I can't handle tight, I can't handle, I can't handle tight spaces.

Jerk:

Yeah, you can.

Bitch:

But like, I would never do, like every time I watch on any like of the adventure shows, you know, and they're like, oh, we're just gonna like go into like, and they just like crawl through like holes and like,

Jerk:

Uh-uh.

Bitch:

and like they vary in size. I don't

Jerk:

That

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

gives me

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

so

Bitch:

idea

Jerk:

much anxiety.

Bitch:

that I could not get through like

Jerk:

Right,

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

terrifying.

Jerk:

if you could potentially get stuck at one point in or out. Oh my God, that's why I'm like, I can't do like, I can go to like a large cavern, but I'm not gonna like go like where you have to like squeeze through

Bitch:

I love

Jerk:

something.

Bitch:

a cave,

Jerk:

Fuck that.

Bitch:

but I'm just, I like, and

Jerk:

The little tight tunnels. Fuck

Bitch:

it's just

Jerk:

you.

Bitch:

also really hard to like, it's not easy for me to belly crawl with giant boobs. It's just not, they get in the fucking way. Like you have to like basically like be

Jerk:

I've

Bitch:

planking

Jerk:

done it in

Bitch:

your

Jerk:

sand.

Bitch:

whole way. Yeah. And you can't plank if you're like doing it low. Like I

Jerk:

No.

Bitch:

only know it from Tough Mudder where I just like, I paid to do it and Diana, you know, like got paid to do it, but yeah,

Jerk:

Yeah, and yell that a lot,

Bitch:

I'm

Jerk:

though.

Bitch:

yelled at.

Jerk:

But like, you know, like whatever the ground crawling under like barbara barbara stuff

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

like that. Like, it's not easy. It's extremely

Bitch:

See,

Jerk:

exhausting.

Bitch:

the my problem is like, like, because when I've done it, it's only been obstacle court races. I've never done it like in a military thing, but also just like as a chick and just like to stick my butt up.

Jerk:

No, it's really hard not to. It really

Bitch:

And so

Jerk:

is.

Bitch:

it's just like, I just want to stick my butt up. And

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

so it's

Jerk:

very,

Bitch:

just like,

Jerk:

it's just

Bitch:

and you

Jerk:

the natural

Bitch:

can't

Jerk:

like,

Bitch:

do that.

Jerk:

oof, oof. Keep your tits off the ground and stick your

Bitch:

You

Jerk:

butt

Bitch:

gotta

Jerk:

up.

Bitch:

get

Jerk:

That's just

Bitch:

it.

Jerk:

what we do. But no, you can't do that when you're doing that crawl. I'm sorry.

Bitch:

No, just dragging your titties through the dirt.

Jerk:

Just drag, drag, dragging them titties through the dirt.

Bitch:

And that is our lore.

Jerk:

Oh my

Bitch:

All

Jerk:

gosh.

Bitch:

right,

Jerk:

All right. Woo.

Bitch:

this episode, drown your titties through the dirt.

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

All right,

Jerk:

all right.

Bitch:

I wanted to hopefully I wanted to, I also think it's very wrong that I was just like, oh, booby traps, that'll be funny. And that'll put some levity into the situation that I started talking

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

about how to be a copper

Jerk:

And then you're talking

Bitch:

torture.

Jerk:

about Vietcong and Nazis instead. Yeah. Lovity. Yay. Oh, right.

Bitch:

Alright.

Jerk:

Well, they avoid good old Samuel's booby trap, which happens to be jars of nails and screws tied or taped to a giant can of gasoline.

Bitch:

Why did he have time to make that?

Jerk:

pretty impressed by that. But I'm also

Bitch:

Choo

Jerk:

like,

Bitch:

choo choo

Jerk:

that

Bitch:

choo choo.

Jerk:

is, that is a very aggressive.

Bitch:

Choo!

Jerk:

Yeah, that's a very aggressive, uh, baby trap.

Bitch:

He had to think

Jerk:

Um.

Bitch:

about the booby trap, he had to gather all the ingredients,

Jerk:

Yeah!

Bitch:

unless like did he just have the boob- did he have a booby trap with him?

Jerk:

Did he have a kit? Part of his like standard operating procedure. He has a booby trap kit with him.

Bitch:

Eh, my bad.

Jerk:

So they've been able to avoid this one and continue. And the lights flicker and go out. Well, shit, because of course they do. And then a metal door closes separating Sam from Dean, Rufus and Bobby. So they all have to keep continuing on, but Sam's by himself. So Sam eventually finds Samuel. And Samuel's acting kind of weird. He's holding his hands kind of in front of him and tells Sam, you're not gonna shoot me. You got your soul back and I'm family. And Sam's like, yeah, let's not go there with the family thing and don't move. But Samuel's still talking and kind of like slowly advancing on Sam. It's real awkward and not cool. And he's like, hey, I'm gonna tell you all about our time together. And I know you wanna know, so I will tell you everything. but maybe we should put our guns down. And so he advances on Sam and Sam shoots him.

Bitch:

I'm dead in

Jerk:

Whoa!

Bitch:

between the eyes.

Jerk:

Whoa, whoa, whoa, holy shit. Hearing the gunshots, Dean, Bobby and Rufus run up and they're just mostly they're relieved that Sam's alive at this point. And then they realize that Samuel is probably not. And they tell Sam to drop his gun. He slowly sets it down and like, look, no, I promise this is me. And they check his ear and they're cuffing him until they're sure

Bitch:

I'm fine,

Jerk:

that he's

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

not

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

possessed.

Bitch:

shot my grandfather.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Like, no, I wasn't possessed, that was all me.

Jerk:

But they're like, but did the thing come out of Samuel's ear after he dropped him? And he's like, I don't know. And they're looking and they swab his ear and there's nothing. So now Sam's real upset. She's like, he's like, oh, shit, I might have just shot this guy, my grandfather, when he wasn't a monster. Oopsies.

Bitch:

Oops.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

But also like,

Jerk:

So.

Bitch:

if he wasn't a monster, what the fuck were you doing? Like that was just very awkward and weird, Grandpa. Like,

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

why were

Jerk:

it

Bitch:

you,

Jerk:

was very,

Bitch:

why

Jerk:

very

Bitch:

did

Jerk:

weird.

Bitch:

you keep walking on me like that?

Jerk:

Yeah. So they're so what they're like, all right, well, we got to figure out if he's got this thing in him still. So, hey, Rufus asked Bobby, hey, do you still have a cranial saw in the car? And Bobby, of course he does, because why wouldn't you?

Bitch:

Of course, everyone just travels with a cranial saw.

Jerk:

So they're gonna go fix the power to the building and get the cranial saw to cut open Grandpa's head. Hmm. Hmm.

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

and at

Jerk:

Sam's

Bitch:

this point,

Jerk:

staying

Bitch:

I'm

Jerk:

cuffed.

Bitch:

just like, just go alone, right? Like, leave one, three people together and one person go alone. I think that's safer.

Jerk:

essentially. Yeah.

Bitch:

Because

Jerk:

But

Bitch:

even if the person is possessed, like then they're gonna keep pretending to be possessed and go do what there's, you know what I mean? Like, it makes more sense to me.

Jerk:

Well, Sam's real upset. He's pacing. Dean tells Sam that he did the right thing, but at the same time Dean still won't take Sam's cuffs off. And Sam's like, hey, look, I don't remember a whole lot of Samuel, but what I do remember was not good. But what would mom say about all this? Aw. And Dean's like, mom would just say, just because your blood doesn't mean your family. And you've got to earn trust. And you earned

Bitch:

You can't

Jerk:

that.

Bitch:

say it like that. You gotta be all grubby. Just because your blood doesn't make you family, you gotta earn that. Yeah, it has to be gruff. You

Jerk:

Okay,

Bitch:

can't talk about blood and family

Jerk:

blood.

Bitch:

without being that way. Sorry.

Jerk:

So while they're off wandering around, Bobby tells Rufus that he's sorry about Omaha. It was my fault, I should have listened, and you lost her because of me, is the only quote we get.

Bitch:

Yeah, he did get the power because I did want to go, Rufus got the power!

Jerk:

I've got the power. Um, and Rufus is like, uh, sorry, we've had this conversation already. You can blabber all day, but we'll, I'll never forgive you for what happened. So we just might as well change the subject.

Bitch:

What the fuck is Omaha? Who is her? What is happening? I'm sorry, I'm just yelling

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

in the mic, but

Jerk:

I don't

Bitch:

it's just

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

They're

Bitch:

annoying.

Jerk:

vague. It's a vague. It's like it's it's

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

vague

Bitch:

vague booking,

Jerk:

and I don't

Bitch:

you're

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

vague

Jerk:

it. Vague

Bitch:

booking.

Jerk:

booking. Yeah.

Bitch:

And it's

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

just,

Jerk:

I don't like

Bitch:

it's very

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

frustrating. And but also like, at some point, like, I feel like Bobby should know, right? Like, I feel like this is a friend conversation. And sometimes there are things that you just don't like, we just

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

don't

Jerk:

know,

Bitch:

talk about

Jerk:

but still.

Bitch:

anymore.

Jerk:

I don't like it.

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

Anyways.

Bitch:

don't like it either, because now we know, knowing what we know, like.

Jerk:

We know just enough to know that we don't know something. I

Bitch:

Mm-hmm.

Jerk:

don't like it.

Bitch:

Let's get this on.

Jerk:

So they get to saw it on Samuel's head

Bitch:

With

Jerk:

and.

Bitch:

this like, oh, offset of the cord on this, on

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

it's fucked.

Bitch:

saw

Jerk:

This is like the

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

worst.

Bitch:

like squirrels who've just like eaten it

Jerk:

Eating

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

I wouldn't touch, you would just die touching it, I think.

Jerk:

Yeah, so Samuel is getting his skull cut open. And Samuel opens his eyes and sits up and starts to fight.

Bitch:

Oh shit! Whoa!

Jerk:

What? Oh shit. And he uses the he's his strength to like break a table and use a leg to block the doors of Sam and Dean can't get into help. Dean cuts off Sam's cuffs finally at this point so they can get back in and fight with them. Because Bobby and Rufus and Samuel are fighting and it is not good. But then Bobby throws Samuel against this, that sketchy ass cord and an outlet and Samuel is electrocuted.

Bitch:

I'm sketchy.

Jerk:

and this giant like segmented worm that looks kind of like a centipede but without as many legs scoots out of his head out of his

Bitch:

Ew.

Jerk:

ear

Bitch:

Ew.

Jerk:

gross right then sam and dean managed to get in the room both rufus and bobby are unconscious at first and they both wake up now they know that electricity is one of the things they can use against this earworm thingy

Bitch:

Yep, and they both, like both Bobby and Rufus probably have that really gross like taste in your mouth you get after you're electrocuted.

Jerk:

Well, they realize though that worm bailed on Samuel, but they don't know where the worm went. So they've

Bitch:

Ewwwww.

Jerk:

all got to do a goo check. Yeah.

Bitch:

My friend

Jerk:

They all check,

Bitch:

goo!

Jerk:

they check for the goo and don't find any in any of them. So they're worried that this may have wised up. So they're going to test each, everybody's going to test each other by being shocked. So

Bitch:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Jerk:

Sam preps a hot wire. As a fun note at this point in time, I would like to point out this is a 110 outlet that they are using. This outlet, Well, it will give you a nice little jolt. It is not going to be the effect that is demonstrated here. It wouldn't spark like crazy when it barely touches a chair and it wouldn't light a person up like that. It would, and it would also throw a breaker, especially in an industrial building. So sorry.

Bitch:

As a side note, please do not try this at home to determine what the result would be. That

Jerk:

Please

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

don't.

Bitch:

not condoned by Teflestrap Podcast.

Jerk:

No. No. Nor supernatural. But yeah, not to speak

Bitch:

Supernatural

Jerk:

on their behalf.

Bitch:

probably.

Jerk:

I just assume they wouldn't want that either. But I'd just like

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

to point

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

that out. But either way.

Bitch:

also though I do kind of enjoy this the sticking thing that happens, you know, that just like

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Sam just like I enjoy this Sam right?

Jerk:

Sam, Sam's

Bitch:

This

Jerk:

like, fuck it, I'm going to be the keeper of the

Bitch:

Sam,

Jerk:

power. I'm just going to shock y'all.

Bitch:

meh, he just like starts off with Samuel he's just like meh, he just like shoves it

Jerk:

Well, yeah, they tested on Samuel's dead

Bitch:

in.

Jerk:

body and then Dean gets shocked and then Sam shocks

Bitch:

What

Jerk:

himself.

Bitch:

he does again doesn't like give Dean any warning. He just like was

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

touched

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

it to him. Yeah, no warning at all. Rufus tries to back out because he's got a pacemaker. And but finally, like goes for

Bitch:

And he's

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

down to three toes. He's down

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

three toes, not he's down

Jerk:

down

Bitch:

two,

Jerk:

three

Bitch:

three

Jerk:

times

Bitch:

toes,

Jerk:

down,

Bitch:

but

Jerk:

down

Bitch:

he's missing

Jerk:

three toes.

Bitch:

three toes.

Jerk:

Yeah. And they're just like very hopeful that this pacemaker can handle it. So he but he does. And

Bitch:

You're

Jerk:

he

Bitch:

a trooper, man.

Jerk:

gets that he's a trooper and then he takes the cord to test Bobby. But Bobby just starts insisting that it's not in him. You can go right away, go right ahead. But he's kind of shuffling away while he's saying this and tells, he says, just a sec Rufus. And then Rufus is like, just a sec, nothing, or whatever you are. I'm Bobby, Bobby my ass. And then Bobby pulls a giant knife and stabs Rufus in the chest.

Bitch:

He stabs Rufus in the chest.

Jerk:

What the fuuuuuuuu-

Bitch:

Curse on the Winchester.

Jerk:

Oh

Bitch:

So,

Jerk:

no!

Bitch:

yeah, it is like a very brutal stabbing, and you're

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

just like, what

Jerk:

with

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

a big

Bitch:

fuck just happened?

Jerk:

fucking knife, big ass

Bitch:

You're

Jerk:

bowie

Bitch:

fucked.

Jerk:

knife. Not good. Damn it, Bobby. Sorry.

Bitch:

Damn it, Bobby.

Jerk:

Damn it, Bobby. So now we've got Sam and Dean are circling Bobby. Bobby's got the cord unplugged. They can't shock him, but the brothers are able to grab him and everything goes black. Bobby wakes up sitting in a chair. Well, monster Bobby is in a chair duct tape to it

Bitch:

I appreciated

Jerk:

and.

Bitch:

them duct-taping

Jerk:

taping

Bitch:

him

Jerk:

him.

Bitch:

to the chair. Oh, that

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

was hilarious. But they just didn't try and save Rufus at all, did they? They just let him die.

Jerk:

Not really.

Bitch:

They're

Jerk:

I mean,

Bitch:

just like, oh, I just let him bleed

Jerk:

yeah,

Bitch:

out.

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

Good.

Jerk:

think so. So Dean's ready to start shocking the shit out of him. And Dean is talking about the harpy and decides to shock.

Bitch:

No, herpes. He's talking about herpes. And this is when, once again, Stan's like, stop talking

Jerk:

Why

Bitch:

about

Jerk:

are you

Bitch:

herpes.

Jerk:

talking about herpes? Yeah,

Bitch:

And Dean's

Jerk:

and.

Bitch:

just like, shut up. And so I think that means Dean has herpes, which I would not be surprised at. So

Jerk:

He

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

shocks

Bitch:

word,

Jerk:

Bobby.

Bitch:

yeah. And I don't like this at all.

Jerk:

No, because they're shock is basically they're like, Hey, Bobby, you better get comfy. And Bobby's like, I am. It's nice in here. And you, you know, you love this guy. You're going to have to take him if you want to take me.

Bitch:

I don't

Jerk:

So.

Bitch:

like possessed Bobby. It's so icky.

Jerk:

Monster

Bitch:

He's just

Jerk:

Bobby

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

sucks.

Bitch:

ugh. He's just like a, like,

Jerk:

I mean...

Bitch:

I don't know, like, he's unclean. He's like,

Jerk:

No.

Bitch:

I don't know. He's like a nerd. I don't know, like, but like a dweeb or something. Like, he's

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

just, he's just, meh. I don't,

Jerk:

But it's really good acting though.

Bitch:

no, Jim Beaver, bravo, but

Jerk:

Bravo.

Bitch:

I don't like it.

Jerk:

I don't either. And Dean's like, yeah, we're gonna do what we have to do. We've got questions. So yeah, Monster Bobby is like, sure, let's talk. You know, what are you? There's not a name for me yet. I'm new. Eve just cooked me up herself. I know that's not how it sounded at all. I don't know why I did that voice.

Bitch:

I don't know, but he also has like this black goo going down his mustache and it really bothers

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

me. And I'm like, can't you guys just wipe that off? Like I would totally have to wipe.

Jerk:

No, you leave it on there. And he's like, well, who you know, who is this Eve bitch? And Monster Bobby is like, it's the mother of all of us and all of you. There'll be more creatures than humans and humans will live in pens and will serve your young like veal.

Bitch:

I don't want to live in a pen, but you know, karma. So yeah, it was just gross when he says it, but we're kind of like, oh, is this what's happening? Like, we're just going to have a whole bunch of more monsters made,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

okay? That's going

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

to

Jerk:

then

Bitch:

be a thing we really should worry about.

Jerk:

Sam's like, but why bring in these cannery guys? Like, what the fuck? And they're like, oh, no, it was a trap to lead y'all here. Fuck.

Bitch:

To messes!

Jerk:

They fell for it again. And Eve sent a message. You're all going to die. She's pissed. She's here. And it's going to be nothing but pain for you from here on in.

Bitch:

She's here, she's pissed, you're all gonna die!

Jerk:

I'm gonna go ahead

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

they

Jerk:

do

Bitch:

electrocute him a lot.

Jerk:

a little bit of a

Bitch:

But don't you want it to crawl out?

Jerk:

I don't

Bitch:

How

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

is Bobby breathing?

Jerk:

Well, if he crawls out, then it's like then it can't

Bitch:

But then

Jerk:

be

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

killed.

Bitch:

can kill it.

Jerk:

I don't know. But.

Bitch:

You didn't step on it, you saw it, it's a worm, squish it. Just step

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

on it.

Jerk:

gosh, that's going to be so gross. I don't like to squish big bugs.

Bitch:

Unless it's on carpet and then you can't kill it. Then like

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

it

Jerk:

very

Bitch:

would

Jerk:

upsetting.

Bitch:

never be the worst like you're trying to kill this

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

monster

Jerk:

my gosh.

Bitch:

It's just like

Jerk:

Doing the Cucaracha dance or something on it like, oh, my gosh. Oh, so they are shocking. Bobby is shocking the shit out of Monster Bobby. Dean is talking the shit out of Monster Bobby. And so bad that Sam can't even watch, which you know is just, that's very upsetting. Black goo coming out of his nose, his mouth, his ears, everything, and a scorch mark on his neck. Bobby's unconscious, so Dean stops. Sam gently removes some of the tape from the ear and the worm, a little tiny worm now. It's not this ginormous worm that was in Samuel. So little worm just falls out of his ear and is dead on the floor.

Bitch:

Sam gently removes the duct tape.

Jerk:

You like that? You like my descriptions of the scene? You're welcome. So, um, yeah, but Bobby's not breathing. That's not good. In our next scene, we cut to a cemetery. Sam and Dean standing by a grave. But then Bobby walks up, says, not Bobby, Bobby's alive.

Bitch:

What's up

Jerk:

Yay!

Bitch:

Bobby? But also, what the fuck this is sad! Oh my god it's Rufus!

Jerk:

It is very sad. And apparently, Rufus was Jewish, but not very kosher, because he's being buried in a Jewish cemetery. And but I thought it was funny Bobby points out that Rufus would pull the Sabbath card when they had to bury a body on certain days. And all I could think of was we don't roll. Because I think of Walter from the Big Lebowski. So anyways, Bobby's like look like. You know, once upon a time, Bobby was just a job. He, you know, he had he had his automotive shop. His wife got possessed and some guy blazed in soaked everything in holy water. And honestly, Bobby would have gone away for killing his wife. But Rufus taught Bobby and covered for everything. And they rode together for years. And then something about Omaha was Bobby's fault. And Rufus will never let it go. But we still don't know what the fuck it is. They don't tell us.

Bitch:

No!

Jerk:

This is mad

Bitch:

Stupid!

Jerk:

too, stupid. But Dean's like, well, he should have let it go. And Bobby's like, well, you don't know what I did. And Dean's like, well, at the end of the day, your family. So he still should have let it go. Life's short, especially for hunters. When I get my guts ripped out, we're all good. Blanket apology all around. So Bobby pulls out a bottle of liquor, some Johnny Walker blue label, and pours some out for his homie Rufus. Sam and Dean leave and Bobby stays and takes the swig.

Bitch:

at the end of the... No, that's not what's happening here.

Jerk:

Ah

Bitch:

Um, so yeah, let's, uh, I think you've got some casting notes and then, uh, pour one out for myself for having to watch this fucking episode.

Jerk:

Oh, well, are a few just a couple of folks, because obviously this didn't have a huge cast this episode. Our truck driver, Rick, was played by Brent straight or state, excuse me.

Bitch:

Hahaha

Jerk:

He was STAIT, his last name. So he's a bunch of single up a lot of single episodes of television shows like Stargate, Atlantis. Oh, Married with Children TNT, which was a TV show with Mr. T. Battlestar Galactica, Fringe, Once Upon a Time. He was he's we see him. He's been in three episodes total of Supernatural. So we'll see him again. Twenty one Jump Street, the Kamish Highlander X-Files Stargate SG-1 Outer Limits, Smallville movies that you would have seen him in were like Omen four Call of the Wild. He was Francois born

Bitch:

Francois!

Jerk:

to run. Born to run. He was Raymond Tron Legacy. The Purple Gaming Program. Final Destination five.

Bitch:

The Purple Gaming Program.

Jerk:

Yeah, that's cool. And finalization five, he was Roy. And it's a lot of Hallmark movies as well. Regular ongoing character or regularly appearing character in Andromeda as Rev Bem. And then Jake Carter in Snowpiercer, which is a more recent series. Our police captain was our sheriff whatever police captain was Captain Dillon played by Derek Morrison. You may have recognized him from single episodes of Outer Limits, Andromeda, Fringe, the newer Twilight Zone series, Batwoman and Big Sky. Interesting enough, which is a show that, um, Jensen Ackles is on. And then, um, he was one of the security guards and rise to the planet of the apes. Our deputy number two is played by Andrew McNe. Um, he's, we'll see him again in supernatural in a later season. He's been you may recognize him from single episodes of Stargate SG-1, Hellcat, Supergirls, Supergirl, Magicians and Batwoman. He's also an ongoing character in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies as Coach Malone. He was Mr. Clay in Ramona and Beezus, the movie, and he was Stan Brooks in Deck the Halls, a holiday movie. He also has done a ton of voice work, including My Little Pony, movies and shows. Mega Man and Ninjago, both the movies and television shows.

Bitch:

Thank you.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

what did you think of this episode?

Jerk:

I think it was really well written with some of the lines. I think that the arc of Samuel was important. But generally speaking, I agree with you. This episode was a fucking bummer and gross. I don't I don't want an earworm. And it's sad that when and Rufus and Samuel are all dead. I mean, it's not really sad that Samuel said, but it's kind of sad.

Bitch:

I think they did Gwen dirty. Like

Jerk:

Gwen got

Bitch:

Rufus...

Jerk:

done dirty for real.

Bitch:

like Rufus...

Jerk:

Rufus.

Bitch:

I mean I'm

Jerk:

Rufus

Bitch:

not saying

Jerk:

has his

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

own

Bitch:

it

Jerk:

problems.

Bitch:

was his time, like you know like Omaha, but at least like he's lived a long life right? Like

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

at some point like you go,

Jerk:

He's a

Bitch:

but

Jerk:

hunter.

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Gwen is just like you pop in you have one line and then we kill you like...

Jerk:

Well, and then it also sucks to get killed by people you trust because they're like controlled by something evil at that moment. You know what I mean? Like there's a lot of guilt with that. Like Bobby's got to live with the fact that he killed Rufus

Bitch:

Yeah, but at least

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

give her more lines.

Jerk:

well, yeah, and Dean has to live with the fact that he killed Gwen who he who had just figured out.

Bitch:

He doesn't seem to be very bothered by it!

Jerk:

Well, I mean, I think he was kind of distracted. You don't really have time to process something like that when you're in the middle of

Bitch:

Also,

Jerk:

being possessed

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

by a monster.

Bitch:

what happens to Gwyn? Like, so, you say, Rufus is buried here.

Jerk:

Oh, Gwen, they just left her body in the fucking cannery. She's still laying on that slab

Bitch:

I'm pretty

Jerk:

somewhere.

Bitch:

sure they did. I'm pretty sure they just left

Jerk:

Ooh.

Bitch:

Gwen there. Maybe they gave Gwen or Gwinnor. Maybe

Jerk:

winner.

Bitch:

they gave Gwen a Hunters funeral, but

Jerk:

I don't know.

Bitch:

did they

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

give

Jerk:

weird

Bitch:

Samuel

Jerk:

though.

Bitch:

a Hunters funeral you think?

Jerk:

Doubt it. Did

Bitch:

Well,

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

probably,

Jerk:

just leave him there

Bitch:

because

Jerk:

too?

Bitch:

part of the reason you do that is so that you can't be possessed, right?

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

And

Jerk:

Or

Bitch:

so,

Jerk:

come back as a ghost or whatever.

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

I'm sure they're probably like, nah, we need to, like, I would probably dismember that corpse and

Jerk:

Yeah, you really

Bitch:

throw

Jerk:

don't

Bitch:

it in

Jerk:

want

Bitch:

some

Jerk:

Rufus

Bitch:

different

Jerk:

coming

Bitch:

places.

Jerk:

back. Ugh.

Bitch:

Samuel can

Jerk:

Or

Bitch:

be

Jerk:

Samuel,

Bitch:

back.

Jerk:

excuse me. Yeah, Rufus,

Bitch:

No,

Jerk:

you want back.

Bitch:

we just

Jerk:

We want

Bitch:

can

Jerk:

Rufus

Bitch:

come back.

Jerk:

back. We're sad about that. But you really don't want Samuel coming back.

Bitch:

No.

Jerk:

And he's full of enough weird spite

Bitch:

I mean, he already

Jerk:

that...

Bitch:

came back once, technically, so...

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

The

Jerk:

Excuse

Bitch:

other thing

Jerk:

me.

Bitch:

is, like, is Sam- is Samuel a human? You see? I don't know. I guess, like, guess- I mean, Sam's

Jerk:

I mean,

Bitch:

a human. Yeah,

Jerk:

in the same

Bitch:

they're

Jerk:

way

Bitch:

both-

Jerk:

that in the same way that Sam is, right.

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

Super fucking weird, though.

Bitch:

I don't like this episode, it's stupid.

Jerk:

I know.

Bitch:

But...

Jerk:

He had some good lines, though.

Bitch:

I did. BABYS! Alright, I think

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

that's it.

Jerk:

all right. That's all we got.

Bitch:

Alright, cheers, Dirk.

Jerk:

Cheers, bitch.